


still take you home

by cherryboys



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ALL THE GOOD STUFF, Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Harry works at a flower shop, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kissing, Lots of it, Louis is trying his best, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Neighbors, Pining, Side Ziall, Strangers to Lovers, Ziall are adorable, banana bread, narry friendship, pansexual louis, yes that's a tag, zouis friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 82,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29181693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryboys/pseuds/cherryboys
Summary: When a cute boy moves in the flat across from Louis, he never expected it to turn into anything. But anything can end up being something very special.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> if you're looking for a fic about two boys meeting and slowly falling in love with each other you came to the right place! I hope you like this one :)

Louis’ eyes rip open once he’s being shoved rather harshly, reminding him that he is not in his own flat, but rather surrounded by a bunch of drunk strangers. And he shouldn’t just fall asleep on some random couch.

Well, to be fair, he might’ve closed his eyes for a brief moment. He was just starting to get tired, that’s all. No problem with that. He didn’t necessarily fall asleep, just rested his eyes for a minute...

Oh, Christ. Who is he kidding? He definitely just fell asleep at a party. This is a new low for him, and all he wants to do is fucking leave and forget this ever happened.

Louis isn’t sure how he ended up here, but that’s nothing new for him, sadly enough. He gets himself into situations that are easily preventable if only he had his shit together, which he doesn’t.

Tonight was another night where his so called friend named none other than Zayn Malik dragged him here, only to leave him all alone and go off with his boyfriend, the hypnotizing Liam Payne.

(According to Zayn, that is, Louis thinks he’s a piece of shit.)

But really. It’s almost concerning... no. He takes that back. It _is_ concerning. He becomes in a trance whenever that boy is around... which Louis likes to believe he has hexed Zayn in some way.

That’s an entirely different and irrelevant story, though. Also, none of his business. If his friend is happy, then so is he. That is how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?

Anyways. Back to Louis’ sad and pathetic life.

He understands that he had a lot to drink and smoked a lot of weed. He was planted on the torn up couch in the basement of this house for a majority of the night. He was with Zayn and Liam until they started snogging and dragged each other into somebody’s bedroom, leaving Louis all alone.

Well. He still had his blunt with him. If that counts for anything. He managed to delicately hold onto it, even in his sleep.

He’s also fucking out of his mind. He feels as if he’s in his own dream as he stares at the blank brick wall in front of him, people rubbing against him. He glances dizzily to the point of contact and... oh. That is definitely a girl's arse. Yup. Her arse is pushed up against his thigh as she makes out with a boy.

So that’s what shoved him awake. How fucking perfect. That must be his cue to finally leave.

When he stands up he makes a point to push the girl a little. He’s pretty sure she pulls away to scowl at him and probably ask him what his problem is, but he’s too unfazed to give them any sort of actual attention. So he keeps on walking, heading up the stairs and out the door of this party.

He manages to bump into a few bodies, until he is safely on the streets of Cardiff, making his way back to his shitty flat. He’s not exactly sure how far that might be, but he’s at least going in the right direction. He can tell that much. He’ll be there soon enough or later. He doesn’t really care because at least he’s out of that God damn party now.

See, this is a bit out of character for him. Normally, Louis is quite the partier. He always has been since he was just a teen. But lately, life has been kicking his arse and he’s not in the mood for them anymore. Instead of being the life of the party, he’s the one on the sidelines, watching the people around him live.

He’s not too sure what to think of it. He wouldn’t necessarily call himself depressed or anything. But maybe he’s just in some sort of weird... funk? Is that it? It’s definitely something that he’s going through, he’s just unaware of which one that is.

Maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Can you have a midlife crisis at the age of 24? That seems likely, now that he is considering it. He wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what is going on with him.

Louis doesn’t necessarily have a horrible life. He wouldn’t make it sound that drastic. But could life treat him better? He thinks so, yeah. But doesn’t everyone? Everyone thinks they deserve better than what they get?

Part of it is his own fault. It’s his own fault for dropping out of school at 21 and never going back, but instead, getting a job at some shitty pub and staying there. That’s his only source of income and although it’s not a lot, it’s enough to keep his flat and afford the essentials he needs in order to survive.

He might have been depressed at that time of his life. Everything seemed to turn to shit rather fast, and ever since, it just hasn’t gotten better. It hasn’t gotten worse as you will... but he’s just sort of adapted to the fact that his life might not really have a point to this world.

And so he thrives off that thought. He lives off of it instead of trying to prove to himself that he’s better than this. Because he genuinely believes he’s not.

Whatever. Fuck being alive and everything the world throws at you. He didn’t ask for this and now he just has to push himself through life.

Yeah. He’s pathetic. It’s fine. That’s already been established.

Eventually, Louis finds himself outside of his apartment complex and he almost kisses the ground. It felt like he has been stumbling over his feet to get here for hours now.

No thanks to Zayn. Really, he appreciates his friend looking out for his safety and all.

He clumsily makes his way through the building, and when he reaches the top of the stairwell and the door that leads to his hallway, he throws it open only to body slam into another person. And that person? Not only do they almost make Louis fall back down the stairs, but they spill a liquid on him. All over his newly white shirt.

It’s not like Louis can afford to buy new clothes all the time, God damn it. And this shirt was on the more expensive side, for Christ’s sake.

The other body stumbles back, gasping, and Louis thankfully is able to catch himself before he actually goes flying backwards and nearly kills himself. Before he looks up to the person to give them a piece of his mind, he stares down at his shirt that’s covered in a reddish, thick liquid. It reeks of fruits and he swears that he’s about to hurl everywhere.

“Oh my God. I am so sorry.”

He purposely lifts his head with a dark tint in his eyes because yeah. He is rather fucking pissed about this happening to him.

He’s met with another boy, brown curls fallen into his green eyes that are so wide Louis is afraid they are about to pop out of his sockets. One headphone is placed in his ear, while the other one is lamely dangling on the side, most likely implying he didn’t even hear Louis coming up the stairs.

The golden boy definitely seems a bit startled and guilty, but Louis is too drunk to even try and consider this boy's sincerity. Instead, he kind of wants to just take out his anger on him. Especially since he was the one who just worsened it.

“Maybe next time watch where the fuck you are going.”

This causes the boy to gape even more, and his face reddens so much that it matches Louis’ stained shirt. “I-I apologize, truly, I didn’t even hear you coming—”

“Because you got bloody headphones in. What the fuck are you doing going out at past midnight with a…” He lifts his shirt to smell the liquid. “A smoothie, correct? This is a fucking smoothie?”

The boy’s frown deepens and his eyebrows are painfully pushed together. “Um. Yes? It’s a magnesium smoothie, you see, and it... well. It helps me with my anxiety? I was just going to like, go on a walk and listen to music while I drank it and... yeah. I-I’m sorry?” He panics, scratching his bicep nervously. “I think you’re my neighbor, by the way. I um... I moved in the flat across from you?” He points behind them with his thumb, toward the door that is indeed across from Louis’ own flat.

Right. Louis does have a new neighbor, now that he remembers. He was wondering if that little shit was ever going to introduce himself, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to.

He starts to feel the smoothie running down the skin of his stomach and he cringes, eyes falling back onto his shirt and groaning. “This was a new fucking shirt. You made me ruin it, you bastard.”

“I’ll get you a new one,” the boy rushes, and Louis can’t help but once more look up to him so he can watch him continue to panic over this. “Better yet, let me go get my wallet right now and I can give you what you need—”

“No thanks,” he spits because his headache is currently becoming worse each second this boy rambles. He needs to get away from him. “Glad I’m stuck with your irritating arse as my new neighbor,” he mutters childishly (yes, even as drunk as he is he can admit that was unnecessary to say), before harshly shoving against his shoulder.

Right before he completely passes him, he watches as his face washes over with what is undoubtedly described as hurt (which, okay, he might’ve been rude, but it’s not that serious, Jesus) and Louis couldn’t be less fazed by it. He gets more angry than usual when he’s drunk like this, not being affected with who he might hurt in the process.

He fumbles with his key once he reaches the door, and when he finally gets it open, he throws himself inside and rips off his shirt. He throws it on the floor, just needing to get that horrible thing off of his body.

He freezes in his spot, glancing around his flat and the entire mess inside of it. Clothes are everywhere, empty bottles and wrappers scattered throughout, the blankets and pillows on his cheap couch all messed up. It fits the image of his life, really. A big fucking mess.

Like always, he doesn’t bother cleaning any of it up. He simply struggles as he gets off his jeans before falling onto his tiny bed, praying for a deep sleep to hit him.

....

In the morning, Louis is woken up to the sound of his door slamming. He instantly groans into his pillows as the footsteps come closer. God, give him strength. Why can’t he get at least one good night's sleep?

“Oh, good. You’re alive.”

“Unfortunately,” Louis mutters, turning his head to the side and resting his cheek on the pillow so he can look at Zayn. He smiles down at Louis warmly, completely unbothered. “Thanks for your concern. You really seemed to be worried about me at the party while you were off fucking Liam.”

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that,” he replies, not caring at all. Bastard. He takes another moment to study Louis laying there. “You look like shit, man.”

Louis throws the duvet off of him, stumbling to his feet and grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a new t-shirt to put on. “Wow, Zayn. You really know how to boost the confidence of an already beaten down dog.”

This makes Zayn chuckle, and as Louis reaches him, he playfully shoves at his shoulder before they are both making their way to his kitchen. “I’m just saying. You got fucked up last night.”

“Well, it was a party. There was booze and weed right in front of me, what do you expect?”

“I guess I expect you to get fucked up,” Zayn admits, walking over to sit on the stool to his counter with Louis. He observes him again quietly with his brown eyes and Louis already knows what to expect before he even asks it. “You still working shit out in your head?”

See, Zayn understands that Louis doesn’t necessarily like talking about what is going on in his life, but he also knows when Louis is dealing with shit. He doesn’t push him to talk about it, although he will ask him every now and then to make sure he’s alright.

That’s just how they work. They are there for each other in all the ways they need to be. He appreciates their friendship more than anything.

Louis just sighs, throwing his face into his arms. “I don’t know anymore. I’m just trying to ignore it and hope it goes away soon enough.”

“Probably not the smartest thing to do, but then again, you are a man of stupidity so I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Hey!” Louis shouts, kicking his foot to his shin. “Aren’t you supposed to say something along the lines of ‘Oh, I’m sorry Louis. Would you like to talk about it because you know I’m here for you always?’ That’s what real friends do.”

“No. Real friends would tell you that you are stupid and wait for you to talk to them about it on your own terms. Therefore, I am the realest friend you will ever have,” he states, reaching over to rub Louis’ back.

He just smiles at him because yeah. That’s exactly how they are.

He met Zayn at school when he was 18 and they have been friends ever since. They might in their introduction to graphic design course, when Louis was actually going to school for something he is passionate about.

Maybe he should say was. Yeah. Something he was passionate about. He doesn’t know the last time he dived into that work, because again, life happened and made him stop doing something he loves.

Jesus. Maybe he is depressed.

Anyways, back to his friendship with the drop dead gorgeous Zayn Malik.

They immediately took interest in each other, as they shared the same table and he knew that Zayn was going to be someone he wanted to be friends with the second he asked Louis where he got his jean jacket from because he wanted to look as sick as him.

Five years later and two matching jean jackets later, they can’t get rid of each other and Louis couldn’t be more thankful about that.

Louis scratches his jawline, shrugging. “Fair enough.”

“And as your real friend, I need to admit that you look like you need an unhealthy breakfast to cope with this hangover you are most definitely feeling.”

Louis laughs and rubs at his temples, trying to ease the existing headache he’s had since he opened his eyes. He’s just glad he hasn’t thrown up yet, and hopefully this breakfast will get it out of him so he can feel better. “That I do.”

“C’mon,” Zayn insists, standing up with Louis joining him. When they reach the door, Zayn points to the ground to his discarded t-shirt from last night. “What the hell is on your shirt? Is that vomit?”

He frowns, not knowing what it is himself. He bends down, grabbing the piece of clothing and observing it. He brings it to his nose and inhales it. It... smells like strawberries. He furrows his eyebrows as he continues staring at it. “I am so fucking confused.”

Truthfully, he doesn’t remember getting home at all last night. Maybe he bought himself a smoothie on the way back? But that doesn’t seem like him at all. He never drinks smoothies. He can’t think of one thing that would make this make sense to him.

“You are one strange man,” Zayn implies as Louis stands back to his feet, trying to forget about whatever the hell happened with his shirt. Not like it matters, really.

“Yeah, but you love that about me,” he says teasingly, reaching up to pat his cheek. “You are just as strange, if anything, more so than I am.”

“Wasn’t an insult, but a compliment. So thank you.”

Louis chuckles, opening the door to the stairwell for the both of them to walk down. “I need some really greasy hash browns in my stomach now or I might die.”

“We can’t have you dying on me. Who will I bully if you die?”

“You could always bully Liam. He sort of deserves it.” Zayn hits his arm harshly and Louis jumps. “Jesus. It was a fucking joke.”

But the thing is, it wasn’t. Louis has never really liked Liam and he can’t explain why. He just feels like he’s a shit boyfriend to Zayn, who deserves people to love him for him and not for his looks. He’s almost positive that Liam is with him because of who he is on the outside which is crap.

“I told you to stop talking shit about him. You know I don’t like it,” Zayn reminds him, opening the door to get outside of the building. “So shut the fuck up.”

Louis rolls his eyes and doesn’t answer him. If he wants to insult Liam, he will. That’s Zayns problem if he doesn’t like it. But he doesn’t have it in him to argue any further today, so he will do what he says for once.

When they get onto the sidewalk, Louis pauses once he notices the lean figure sitting on the bench. He squints his eyes as if that will clear up his blurry vision as he approaches closer. When they continue walking forward, he starts to realize he knows this stranger.

Well, he doesn’t know him at all actually. But he knows that he is Louis’ new neighbor, the boy that moved across the hallway from him. He never got the chance to introduce himself or really take in his appearance but he does recognize that mop of hair. It’s the only thing he saw when he took a look through his peephole when he heard the ruckus of someone finally moving in. That flat has been available for ages, it seems. Because no one in their right mind would willingly live here.

He thinks about introducing himself if he notices the two of them walking past him, but that never happens because he almost seems to be asleep with his headphones in his ears. His head is tilted backwards, the sun hitting his pale face and he seems to be at complete peace doing this... really lonely thing.

“What the hell?” Zayn chuckles deeply as they pass him up, clearly referencing to the boy they just passed up. “Who just relaxes like that outside your building?”

Louis clears his throat. “I think that’s my new neighbor.”

“Oh. Seems weird.”

He can’t help it as he glances back over his shoulder to look at him once more. “Yeah. He does.”

....

So there’s a problem. Louis has been noticing his weird neighbor a lot more than he wants to. Everytime he sees the lad, he’s got headphones in and is completely in his own little world. Sometimes he’s reading a book, scribbling down in a notebook.

And now he’s curious about him. Because where did this boy come from? Why did he move here? What does he do with his life? Why is he always listening to music and just sitting there? Why hasn’t he introduced himself to Louis yet?

Questions that he has no answers for and he doesn’t know if he should try and get them or not.

See, Louis is a friendly person. A good socializer, where talking comes almost too naturally to him. So it wouldn’t be hard for him to knock on his door and introduce himself to him, that way they could maybe get to know each other.

Also, from what he can tell, the boy is attractive. He hasn’t really seen him up close since that one time on the bench, but he knows he is good looking. And Louis always seizes the opportunity to talk to someone with such qualities.

But with this fucking boy, he just doesn’t. And maybe it’s because he’s afraid this boy is too delicate. He’s just... the way he always looks so fucking sad just sitting on his bench, body hunched over. He seems to enjoy his alone time as well, and Louis doesn’t know if he should disrupt that.

Which is weird for him. He normally never cares to approach anyone, despite the situation.

But yeah. He’s a little messed in the head right now when it comes to this stranger. He just can’t figure out what it is, and he’s trying to ignore it and hopefully wait for the boy to finally come up to Louis himself.

Each day passes though, and it seems like that will never happen.

He sighs, lost in his own thoughts as he finishes making this drink for a customer. The pub he works at is down the block from his flat, which is obviously something he’s grateful for. Sure, it’s a shit job, but at least it’s close to him since he has to walk every shift because he doesn’t own a car.

Anyways. It’s his own fault that he has to work a job like this. He can’t complain much about it because that just wouldn’t be right.

He’s handing the customer his drink when Zayn and Liam come strolling in. As happy as he is to see Zayn, his mood shifts when he takes sight of Liam, really wishing Zayn would stop bringing him around Louis since he knows he doesn’t like his boyfriend.

“Hey Lou,” Zayn greets, taking a seat in a stool. “How are ya, babes?”

“Oh, I’m great,” he responds sarcastically. He ignores Liam, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the bastard.

“Hello Louis,” he chirps in, smug prick knowing very well that Louis doesn’t like him either.

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters, getting their drinks prepared.

Zayn glares at him before speaking back up. “You didn’t answer my text this morning,” he accuses.

He shrugs because he just didn’t feel like responding when he asked him if he was working tonight. There was no reason for it, sometimes he just isn’t in the mood to deal with people. And yes, that includes his best friend.

“Forgot,” he lies, playing it off easily. “Why’d you want to know?”

“I thought if not we could’ve gone out and gotten drinks together. But we’re here now, so,” Zayn mutters, grabbing his drink as Louis hands it to him. He eyes Louis up before he brings up his next statement. “You are going through a phase.”

Jesus Christ. Here we go.

“So what if I am?”

“Well, you are usually snapped out of it by now. And most of the time, I just let you sort your shit out without questioning you about it. But I’m starting to get a little concerned.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Zayn, I’m fine. I told you it’ll go away soon enough.”

Zayn is opening his mouth to argue, but he’s cut short. “See? I told you there’s nothing to worry about,” Liam jumps in, making Louis scoff.

“No one asked for your input,” he snaps and Zayn immediately becomes angry like he always does when Louis is remotely rude to his boyfriend.

“What the fuck is your problem?” He asks, placing a reassuring hand on top of Liam’s before shaking his head disapprovingly. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t care anymore. Forget I asked.”

Thank God.

Liam ends up chuckling by his side. “You guys are so funny,” he observes as he brings his drink to his lips. “Never fail to entertain me.”

“Yeah. Louis is annoying.”

“I’m right here, Zayn.”

“Well, it’s true. You’re annoying and you know you’re annoying.”

“You know what’s annoying? Liam and you bothering me at my shift. Go bugger off somewhere,” he mumbles childishly, not in the mood to be around these two lovers.

Seriously. He doesn’t want to be near them. Well, Zayn would be fine. But if Liam is here, he’d rather them both just leave. Save him the fucking misery.

“No thanks,” Zayn suddenly smiles, resting his chin in his palm. There’s nothing Zayn loves more than getting under his skin, and he can tell that’s just what he’s about to do. “I know how to get you out of your funk.”

Louis frowns, already sensing the recommendation. “Don’t say it.”

“A good fuck. Get it all out of your system. When was the last time you got laid, huh? Not since that blondie from that one pub two months ago? No wonder you’re so miserable.”

He grits his teeth. “My sex life is just fine, fuck you very much.”

Zayn laughs. “Just fine? By what? Being nonexistent?”

“Would you just shut the fuck up?”

“Nah. It’s fun pissing you off.”

Louis closes his eyes as he brings his fists up to push at them. Naturally, this conversation gets him to think about his history when it comes to dating and fucking which he tries to avoid at all costs.

He’s only been in one serious relationship, from when he was 19 to 20. It was with a boy named Aiden that he met in one of his classes, and let’s just say that Aiden treated him like shit.

All he wanted to do was control Louis who wouldn’t listen. It led to a lot of arguments, them constantly being at each other’s necks since they were both so fucking stubborn. When Louis dropped out of school because he couldn’t take it anymore, that for whatever reason got Aiden most worked up.

He explained that he couldn’t be with someone who looks at life so pathetically, not taking it seriously as it would probably cause trouble in their future if they were to have one.

Oh, and then Aiden admitted that he’s glad this happened now because he could stop cheating on Louis and finally break up with him. Just like that, he admitted he was cheating for months. Fucking dick.

It got really ugly. They were both at a pub, drunk, spitting nonstop horrible shit at each other that they were holding in throughout their entire relationship. It wasn’t one of his best moments, no... so it ended quickly.

Ever since then, it’s just been hookups whenever he was horny and lonely. He thought it was the best thing for him, as he’s clearly not right in the head to be in a relationship.

Zayn likes to argue and say how he’s a fine boyfriend, but Louis insists that doesn’t matter because he feels too trapped being with someone. He realizes that he only feels that way since Aiden was so manipulative and horrible, but whatever. He just doesn’t care enough. If it happens, it happens.

“What’s got you looking so distraught?”

Louis removes his hands from his eyes to look toward Nick, his coworker, who emerged from the back room doing whatever it was he was doing. Probably masturbating before his shift ended, to be honest. Disgusting bastard.

Well, actually no. He shouldn’t say that. Nick is a decent guy. He throws in flirty comments here and there toward Louis, but never really makes a real move. Louis doesn’t have that strong of an opinion on him, as their conversations are fine and he normally matches Louis’ personality rather well. But he’s not necessarily his favorite person, ever. He’s a fine coworker, let’s put it that way.

“I have shitty friends,” Louis accuses, pointing toward Zayn specifically. “And he gives me a fucking headache.”

“Oh, please. You wish I was a shitty friend,” Zayn defends himself, nodding his head toward Nick. “Hey man. You alright?”

“Never better,” he responds, looking right back at Louis. “You need to get yourself a massage or something. I can see how stiff your neck is from across the room.”

“Can everyone stop fucking telling me what I need? What I _need_ is for you fuckers to just leave me alone.”

“Whatever you say,” Nick teases, slapping his arse on his way out, making him jump and scowl.

“Slap my bum again and you won’t have the fucking hands to do it anymore!” He shouts as he gets ready to leave for the night.

Nick only laughs and Louis shakes his head to himself as he grabs a rag to clean up the liquid he spilled in that process.

“I’m telling you that he fancies you. Why don’t you give him a shot?” Zayn inquires, tilting his head at Louis. “That’s your fuck right there, you know. Then you will stop being so miserable once you get with him.”

This is something he’s always pressed on about whenever he comes in and sees the two of them working together. He will constantly tell Louis that Nick likes him and that he should reciprocate those feelings, finally get back into the dating world.

Louis would rather stab two forks in his eyes.

“It’s not gonna happen. We’ve been over this.”

“Fine,” he murmurs, eyes widening with thought. “What about pussy? When was the last time you had pussy?”

“Jesus Christ,” Louis mumbles, cheeks actually flushing this time round. “I don’t know, Zayn. A long time.”

And why is he actually answering him? What the fuck, no. He needs to ignore him.

“There’s this girl at my job that’s an absolute sweetheart. On the market and everything. You like redheads?” Liam questions, butting himself into their conversation once again.

Louis rolls his eyes. “No, Liam, I don’t like redheads. Why are you even involving yourself—” He cuts himself short because of the death stare Zayn is giving him. Again, not in the mood to deal with this shit.

Everything sort of becomes awkwardly quiet between them. Zayn and Liam sip at their drinks, unable to figure out what to do with this very distressed Louis. He feels like he should apologize for being a dick, but he doesn’t. He never does. Instead, he just heads over to a customer that just sat down.

They don’t speak for the rest of the night.

....

The next time Louis sees the boy is when he decides to approach him. He was walking back from getting himself a new pack of cigarettes in the afternoon when he spotted him on his normal bench.

Enough was enough. He needed to fucking talk to him because his curiosity was getting the best of him.

When he gets close enough he stops in front of him and just waits. He doesn’t think he should poke him or anything as he’s blocked out from his surroundings with his headphones. He feels as if he’s approaching a timid animal, honestly.

So when Louis stands over the boy, it at least causes a shadow to cast over him since he’s now blocking the sun he was receiving, and it makes him startle and snap his head up to see what is creating the cloud. And once he takes in the sight of Louis, he immediately starts blushing.

His green eyes are prominent and they widen as he takes in Louis. They both end up staring at each other for a little longer than what is probably socially normal and Louis doesn’t understand why, but he’s not really bothered by it. He starts scanning his face, identifying that his lips almost look swollen, and are very, very pink, which is something that Louis can’t help but take interest in. His dark hair is curly and frames around his face messily, strands falling into his eyes as they gaze into Louis.

It’s a lot, taking in the sight of this boy because he is ridiculously attractive. Louis isn’t blind, for Christ’s sake. Anyone would be able to say that they’re drawn into all of his features just by looking at him.

His posture remains still, cautious even, and he doesn’t dare say anything. Louis thinks he isn’t going to speak up because of the unknown fear in his eyes, so he has to take this matter into his own hands.

“Hey, you moved in across from me, didn’t you?”

The boy blinks, bringing his phone down slowly and taking his headphones out from his ears. “Sorry, w-what?”

So he’s a shy one. Cute. He offers his sweetest smile, one that Zayn says gets everyone falling over for him. “I just asked if you moved in the flat across from mine?”

The boy furrows his eyebrows together, looking utterly confused now. “Um... yeah? I did?”

“Nice,” Louis comments, even though that’s a lie and they both know it. Their apartment complex is not in the best shape, but it’s fine. “My names Louis and I’m afraid we haven’t really been properly introduced yet which is my fault as much as it is yours.”

This gets the boy to somewhat smile. It’s the tiniest quirk of the lips but it’s there at least. He still seems to be wary, though. Like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to smile or not. “Harry,” he says, tilting his head at Louis. “And is that so?”

“I’d say so, yeah. You could have introduced yourself just as I could’ve. But I mean, you are the one trespassing my territory, so it’s only fair of you to come to my door with some baked goods to be forgiven. It’s not too late.”

Harry (whose name oddly fits him. It’s the hair, it has to be the hair) timidly laughs. He watches him for a minute, appearing to be debating his words. Something is definitely on his mind, and Louis isn’t sure what, but he waits patiently for his response. “Oh? Trespassing your territory? You don’t own the building, do you?”

“Maybe not. But still. You are invading my overall space and baked goods are always appreciated,” he states, crossing his arms. “Possibly banana bread?”

He laughs again and Louis can’t help but notice he loves the sound of his laugh already. Is that weird? It’s weird, isn’t it? Whatever. All the tension from his shoulders ease, but he continues fiddling with his headphones anxiously. “That’s... specific. And a bit weird because I love making banana bread.”

Louis lifts his eyebrows in surprise. “No shit. That’s perfect, then! I expect you to make me a loaf in no time.”

Harry clears his throat as he rubs at his nose, wrinkling it and glancing back up at him as his smile falls off his face. He then looks away, almost as if he’s disappointed in himself for talking to Louis.

He then starts to realize what he just stumbled across. Like he really thinks about it. He inspects him again and he finds his eyes falling to the ground where an obvious smoothie is just sitting there. Is he always just out here listening to music by himself? What an odd boy.

And wait. Back up. That smoothie matches the color to his stained shirt. He quickly bends down, and picks it up. Harry jerks at this, scooting away from Louis as he brings the smoothie to his nose, inhaling it and fuck. Strawberries.

He looks up at Harry while he’s bending down in front of him, who is staring at Louis like he just about pulled out a knife or something. What a scared little thing he is.

“Hold on. Did we meet before?”

Harry blinks rapidly. If he flutters his eyelashes any faster they might all fly off. “Um. Y-Yeah? Sort of?”

And everything kind of falls into place in his mind. He solved the mystery just like that. So of course, Louis starts laughing and Harry just continues watching him like a deer in headlights. “Oh, fuck. You must’ve spilled this on me, didn’t you? I’m sorry, but I don’t remember that at all. It must be a bit awkward that I just reintroduced myself to you.”

This makes Harry swallow. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then reopens it. “Well... no? Actually, all you did was sort of yell at me and storm off. We didn’t exchange names or anything,” he replies quickly, voice getting more and more quiet with each word.

He stops laughing, but only a little. He stands back to his feet only to sit next to him on the bench. Harry scoots over even more to make sure they are on complete opposite sides. Okay, Louis isn’t that bad to create that much of a distance. Is he?

But yeah. It’s all starting to make sense to him now. He’s come across plenty of incidents where he was a complete dick to people, strangers or his friends, where the next morning they would be refusing to talk to him and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he had done.

He just gets in such a pissy mood. Well, that is, if someone sets him the wrong way while he was drinking. And that night, it was because of Zayn ditching him with his shitty boyfriend. That’s why he took out his anger on this poor boy next to him right now. He’s sort of really disappointed at his drunk self.

“I apologize for that. I’m a forgetful drunk and a rather angry one, which I’m sure you are now aware of. But hey, you’ve already seen me at my worst, so now you’ll be lucky enough to witness me at my best, where I think you’ll be impressed. I’m quite the charmer.” He winks at him and it as expected, causes him to flush again.

Thankfully though, this eases him up again. His body loosens up and a small smile tugs at his lips. “I was already planning on avoiding you as much as I could after that whole situation.”

“I don’t blame you,” he agrees, shaking his head and leaning back. He throws his arm up to rest it on the backside of the bench. “That explains why you nearly shit your pants when I approached you just now.”

Harry huffs. “I wouldn’t make it sound that dramatic. But I guess? I thought you were going to yell at me again.”

Louis laughs because fuck. He’s sweet, isn’t he? There’s no doubt about that. How did he yell at him, drunk or not? “No more yelling. Promise.”

“Okay,” Harry says quietly, a pretty pink shade coming across his cheeks. He blushes a lot. He scoots up on the bench nervously, obviously not knowing what to do with himself. “Um. Okay. I was actually going to head back upstairs now,” he tells Louis out of nowhere.

Louis nods because he gets it. Harry’s probably feeling really uncomfortable after this conversation. He can see it with his fidgety hands.

But Louis being Louis doesn’t want to stop just yet. If he can spend a couple more minutes with him, he’ll take it. “I’ll walk up with you.”

“Oh. Okay. Cool.”

They both stand up and Harry continues playing with his headphones as Louis stuffs his hands in his pockets. He watches him in silence, his curiosity getting the best of him like it always does. “So where did you come from?”

“What?”

Louis opens the door for the both of them to enter. “Where were you living before you moved here?”

Harry nods a little as a way to thank Louis for holding the door for him, tripping on his feet as they get inside. “London.”

Surprised, Louis whistles. “Sort of a downgrade, yeah? Why’d you choose here?”

“I-I just did?” Harry responds vaguely, clearly getting nervous from his questions.

Louis isn’t stupid. He can tell that something happened back in London that made him want to move far away from there, no matter where he ended up. Especially with the way his squirming gets worse, and his face is now completely dropped.

Not knowing him well enough yet to push it further, he swiftly changes the subject. “Well, regardless, I’m an expert when it comes to the streets of Cardiff, so if you ever need a tour of this shitty area, just give me a holler and I’d be more than happy to be your guide.”

Harry smiles at that and Louis makes note of the dimples that appear. He saw them outside at first, but walking next to him now, he can really see them and it matches his entire personality perfectly. Seriously, a boy this sweet? It makes sense for him to have something as innocent as dimples.

“Okay. Um, thanks.”

It’s obvious that Harry isn’t in too much of a mood to talk with Louis anymore, and he’ll take the hint when necessary, so he doesn’t say anything else as they walk the rest of the way up the stairs. When they reach their hallway, Harry makes an effort to open the door for them this time.

He lets Louis walk through and as they step outside their own doors, he turns around to see Harry’s head drooping, staring at the ground. He seems to be in a daze now, and he can’t help but wonder if it’s because of him. Was it because he asked about where he came from? He feels bad for that, but also, it’s not like he was supposed to know of this.

So he sighs, grabbing his key from his back pocket. “Well, I’ll see you around, neighbor. Have a good day.”

Harry picks his head up, a lonely curl falling into his eye, making him blink. He simply nods, offering a small smile that doesn’t meet his gaze as he retrieves his own key.

They both head into their flats without another word, and Louis can already tell that he’s going to be more curious about Harry after finally talking with him.

Maybe he’s going to throw in the effort to make friends with his new neighbor after all.

....

Louis is sitting on his balcony with a cigarette when he spots Harry again. He hasn’t seen him in a couple days, ever since their first real meeting and introductions. He can’t help but notice that there are what seems to be little flowers placed throughout his curls, and it’s enough to make Louis smile.

There’s something about this damned boy that already has him pulled him, intrigued and wanting to know more. He’s an odd one, that’s for sure, and Louis for whatever reason sympathizes with him.

So yeah. He’s going to have to know Harry. It seems like it might be a bit of a project for him, but he doesn’t care.

He’s always up for a challenge.


	2. two

Louis likes to consider the situation he’s in right now as fate, really. Because he rarely goes grocery shopping (and when he says rarely, he means rarely) but the one day he decides to go, get a trolley and everything, he runs into none other than Harry. Like literally, their trolley’s crash together as Harry is coming out of an aisle and Louis is passing it.

“Oh God, I am so—” His eyes are huge and apologetic as Louis makes his way into his line of sight. “Oh. Um, hi. Hi Louis.”

This causes him to laugh as he watches the red overtake his cheeks like it constantly seems to do. “We’ve gotta stop meeting like this, neighbor. At this rate I think you’re trying to kill me.”

Harry shakes his head bashfully. He’s wearing a hat today, a Newsboy type hat, a cardigan and some brown trousers. On his feet are a pair of very worn out, pale pink Converses that don’t match the rest of his clothes at all.

And in all honesty, Louis is pretty sure his Grandad would wear an outfit like this, but on Harry, he makes it work. Like, really work. He’s the type of boy that would be able to put on a trash bag and wear it like a suit specifically crafted for the Met Gala.

He’s just ridiculously attractive, okay? Louis is going to admit it now that he’s attracted to him. But who wouldn’t be? You take one glance at the boy and can just see what a charmer he is. He’s got it all naturally.

It’s been well over a week since he last spoke to Harry. That was the day on the bench when they were first introduced. He decided he didn’t want to go up to him again and possibly scare him away, as he is clearly the type of person to recoil back into his shell if something is said or asked that he doesn’t want to talk about.

He could easily tell that much just when he asked him why he moved here. Louis likes to think he’s got this talent of reading people and understanding what is going on through their mind without even knowing exactly what they’re thinking about. If that makes any sense. He can make out different emotions and such like it’s nothing.

But yeah. He’s been waiting for the right moment instead of making an effort to seek him out himself, so that’s why he’s considering this as fate.

Harry is chewing on his lip as he mumbles. “I’m sorry. I’m insanely clumsy, if that’s not obvious enough already.”

Louis smiles at him genuinely, because yeah, he can see that. “It’s alright. I’m all in one piece, aren’t I?”

Harry nods, glancing back down to the floor. He becomes rather shy fairly quickly, doesn’t he? Louis shouldn’t find it as endearing as he does.

He can tell that Harry can’t come up with anything else to say, and Louis wants to get to know this boy as much as he can, so he has to take the opportunity while they are here. If he rejects Louis, then at least he tried. Right?

He reaches into his trolley, holding up a frozen pizza that he was going to purchase. It catches Harry’s attention as he tracks the movement when he holds it up for him to fully see. “So I’m getting this, and I wanted to see if you would like to come over to enjoy it with me, as well as a beer or two? You know, since we’re neighbors we may as well become a bit friendly towards each other, don’t you think?”

Harry blinks slowly, eyes darting from Louis to the pizza, back to Louis. “You want to invite me over... for a frozen pizza?”

Louis frowns. He pulls it down and throws it back in the trolly, considering. “That’s kind of cheap, isn’t it?” He asks, realizing that he could have at least offered to make real food.

Actually, who is he kidding. He doesn’t cook anything unless it’s pasta. You can’t fuck up pasta.

Surprisingly, Harry actually cackles at this, and slaps a hand over his mouth as an older lady who is passing him gives him a scowl for his loud outburst. Harry gives her an apologetic smile, turning back to Louis. He can’t help but behold the dimples that are on full display now.

“No, it’s not that. I just never got an invitation like this, I guess... but I-I’m not saying no. I’ll come, yeah. That sounds... good?”

Louis quirks an eyebrow up at how he responded in more of a questioning tone than anything. He noticed he does that frequently when he talks, matter of fact. “You don’t sound so sure.”

“I do!” Harry insists, looking quite alarmed realizing how he might have come across. He grips the handle of his trolley tightly. Louis watches as the rings on his fingers make his knuckles turn white. “I’ll be there. Um. Any specific time?”

Louis shrugs. “Doesn’t matter to me. You can come whenever. I’m off tonight and tomorrow, so I’ve got shit to do.”

“Oh. Okay. Cool.” His head snaps back to the ground naturally.

God, this boy. It’s going to be hard getting to know him, isn’t it?

He’ll try, anyways.

“Well, I’ve got to finish up shopping so I can get home and clean my ridiculously fancy flat because I’ve got company coming over tonight,” he jokes, making Harry laugh again. That’s something he wants to get used to. Making him laugh.

“You do that,” Harry teases back, biting his bottom lip. “Bye, Louis. See you later.”

Louis gives a subtle nod before moving on with his trolley.

And shit. He wasn’t lying about having to clean tonight. He doesn’t want Harry to have a bad impression of his dump of a flat. There’s shit fucking everywhere, it’s going to take a while to do this.

Damn it. Maybe he should have thought this through better. But it’s a bit impossible when you’re staring into those green eyes and watching the dimples indent his cheeks after you cause him to laugh...

He’s fucked.

....

Louis thinks that Harry’s clumsiness is already affecting him because he finds himself tripping as he goes to open the door for Harry. He never stumbles over his feet sober.

He made his flat look spotless which if you know Louis, is a very rare thing. Seriously. He even fluffed out the fucking pillows. He went all out and he really hopes that Harry takes notice in it.

He can tell that Harry would be the type of person to have everything tidy in his own place, so he wanted to make sure that he feels fine enough being in Louis’ shitty home. This is going to be his first impression of the place, so he has to make it a good one because their first meeting apparently didn’t go well.

When he opens the door, the last thing he expects to see is Harry holding a bottle of ranch. Louis tilts his head at that, which Harry notices his questioning gaze. He quickly starts rambling to explain himself.

“Sorry. I like my pizza with ranch, and I wasn’t sure if you’d have any, so I thought I’d bring my own? Just in case?”

Louis laughs as he allows his eyes to travel Harry up and down. He kept on the same outfit but god rid of the hat. “I have nothing against guests bringing their own condiments.”

Harry beams. “I had a feeling you’d say as such.”

He moves to the side, waving his arm. “Now please, you and your ranch may enter.”

Walking in, Harry chuckles. “My ranch and I appreciate it.” Ha. So he does got jokes.

Louis shuts the door and stuffs his hands into his jean pockets. That’s a habit, right there, that he will never not do. “The oven is all preheated and ready for the pizza to be placed in, so while I do that, please make yourself comfortable. And don’t forget to take a look around my flat because I don’t remember the last time I cleaned it this thoroughly.”

Harry nods obediently. “Okay,” he agrees, eyes moving around. “It’s nice in here, a lot different than mine.”

He heads over to the oven to place in the pizza. “Yeah? What’s different?”

“The layout. It’s almost completely opposite. Like, my couch is here, then my bedroom is that way, kitchen over there,” he explains as he points once Louis is back to paying attention to him. “It’s um, nice though. Not a lot going on.”

“Does yours have a lot going on?”

Harry blushes. “Yeah? I sort of really appreciate decorating. Like... hanging up posters, plants, vases... all of that?”

“I can see it,” he responds honestly, nodding. “Mine’s kind of lame then, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m not saying that. It’s... minimalist?” He glances around the flat, pointing to an empty wall space. “You could hang up something there. I always recommend a saying that will help inspire you.”

Louis bursts into laughter. “Like what? Life is short, smile while you still have teeth?”

Harry cackles, cheeks flushing. “I guess? Just something that you like. Doesn’t have to be inspiring, per se...”

“Maybe a portrait of myself. I’ve got the face to be framed, don’t you think?” He teases, falling on the couch next to Harry who stares with wide eyes.

He seems to be a bit shy at first, but Louis watches as the moment comes across him that he realizes he can be comfortable with him. So he almost feels significant when Harry decides to joke back. “Or maybe a photograph of me, since I’m the one who gave you the idea.”

“ _You_ sure as hell have the face for it,” Louis admits, making Harry bite down a smile. “Actually, how about a mirror? That could work for everyone.”

Harry beams, eyes widening while he still holds onto that damn ranch like his life depends on protecting it. “Yes! Oddly enough, I happen to have one that I was just going to give to a thrift store or something because it doesn’t work out in my flat, but I’d be more than happy to give it to you. It’ll definitely go up fine on your wall. I hope you like green.”

Louis whistles. “Damn. Our third time talking and you’re already giving me free stuff,” he teases, leaning back on the couch and throwing his arms behind his head. “Maybe I’ll keep you around, neighbor.”

“Fourth time,” Harry corrects, a serious smirk sneaking onto his face. “You may have forgotten it, but I sure as hell won’t.”

Louis laughs, squeezing his eyes shut in the process. “I can only imagine how pissed I was. I’m pretty sure one time my best mate said I nearly screamed my head off at him all because I stubbed my toe. Wasn’t even his fault, obviously, but I made it his since we were at his place.”

Harry most certainly lets out a giggle at that, hiding his mouth behind his hand before he scratches his nose. “Yeah. I wasn’t expecting you to get as mad as you did. Then I smelt the alcohol off of you as you shoved past me, and I supposed it started to make a little sense about why you reacted that way.”

“Didn’t help that I was having a shitty night,” Louis says, thinking back to how he was feeling, even before he got fucked out of his mind. “I love my best mate, really, I do, but lately he’s been pissing me off.”

This is something that Louis has undeniably been trying to ignore. But ever since he last saw Zayn at the pub, he realized a part of why he’s been feeling terrible lately, is because of Zayn himself.

Sure, maybe he is just bitter. He’s bitter that his best mate will toss him to the side like chewed up gum if that means spending more time with Liam.

That’s what happens when you get in a relationship though, innit? Your time becomes consumed by that person?

Louis let it slide the first three months as they were in that beginning stage, really getting to know each other and what not. But then it turned into six months, and then eight months, and they are coming close to a year of being together and nothing has changed.

If anything, those two have gotten worse. Louis can’t even get any alone time with Zayn because he’s always going to bring Liam with him.

He didn’t think he was too bothered by them (well, deep down he’s known, but he was trying to avoid it because he sounds like a stubborn child) but after that party, he sort of wants to chop off Liam’s head.

Yes. He’s putting the full blame on Liam. But he’s still pissed at Zayn, too.

“Oh?” Harry starts, raising an eyebrow. “Did you want to talk about it?” He asks, very gently and caringly. Sweet boy.

“Eh. It’s stupid, so no, I don’t. Just know that part of the reason I was more of a drunk dick than usual, was because I was pissed off to begin with. Also, I can only imagine you spilling that on me was the cherry on top for the night.”

Harry flushes, nodding nervously. “Yeah... sorry, again. Were you able to remove the stain?”

Louis shakes his head. “Nah. I just tossed the shirt, didn’t even bother trying to get it out.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. I can give you the money for it? Whatever you paid for it? I really do feel bad that I—”

“Please, Harry, it’s fine. I don’t care,” he interrupts, laughing at how upset this boy genuinely is over it. “But like I said. Banana bread never hurts.”

Harry cackles, letting himself roll his eyes dramatically. “You and that damn banana bread.”

“It’s good!” He defends himself, crossing his arms across his chest. “I was going to buy some from the store today, but then I remembered you were going to make me some, so I thought I’d save the money.”

“I never said I was going to make you any,” he mumbles, trying to stop smiling, but failing. “You’re persistent, aren’t you?” He asks out of the blue, sounding amused at that.

“Am I?”

“Yeah, you kind of are.”

“I suppose you’re right. When I want something, I’ll get it,” Louis teases, winking at Harry again who rolls his eyes (that’s twice now, boy is already getting more comfortable with him) just as the oven beeps. “Time for us to eat our fancy meal.”

“My ranch is ready,” Harry says, sounding more entertained than ever. It almost makes Louis laugh, just at how cute he finds him.

Jesus. He needs to get a grip. This is barely his first time ever hanging out with him, and he already is biting back a grin as he walks to take out the pizza, all because he finds Harry beyond adorable.

Whatever, it’s not that big of a deal. If he becomes friends with his very attractive neighbor, there’s nothing wrong with that. He’ll survive. He thinks.

Quickly he gathers the pizza, as well as some plates and napkins, walking over to place it in front of them on the coffee table. “Beer is good, correct?”

“Correct,” Harry repeats, opening up his damn ranch. “Thank you, for um, this.”

Louis laughs at his kindness, because really, he has no reason to be thanking him. “Yeah, you’re welcome. I went through a lot of trouble to get this together for us.”

Harry shrugs, and doesn’t say anything further as Louis goes to grab them the beers. When he sits back down, he suspiciously eyes Harry up because honestly, this boy could be either 17 or 25. He looks like the type of person to look young forever.

“How old are you?” He decides to ask randomly, grabbing his own slice as Harry pours some ranch on the end of his own.

“Oh, um, I’m 23,” he answers, making Louis nod because yes, that makes sense.

“Beat you by one year,” he says for no real reason, once again thinking to himself and realizing he needs to seize the chance to know as much as he can about the boy sitting next to him. “So Harry, tell me about yourself. All the basic shit we need to get out of the way, yeah? Like if you’re at school, and if so, what you’re studying...”

Harry nods, scooting back on the couch and fiddling with the rings on his fingers as he chews. He finishes, clearing his throat before talking. “Okay. Well, I do attend university. Um, University of Wales? Nothing too special. And I’m studying to become a veterinarian.”

Louis whistles, really impressed. “Smart boy you are then, huh?”

He simply shrugs, picking his head up to finally look at Louis. “You?” He asks simply, grabbing another slice. Poor boy looks like he’s starving the way he’s attacking the pizza.

Louis shakes his head. “I’m not doing anything at the moment. I used to go there, for about two years. But not anymore.”

It’s a bit of a sore subject for him. He’ll talk about it, yeah, but it’s not his favorite part of discussion. He expected Harry to reciprocate the question, but still. He'd rather not.

A small pout forms at his lips. “That’s okay,” he insists quietly, sounding sincere about it as he takes in Louis’ more discomposed state now. “Sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“Yeah,” Louis agrees immediately. “They definitely weren’t at the time, so that’s why I dropped.”

It’s weird talking about this with someone he just met. He doesn’t know if he’s ever done this, even if he’s not saying much about it. But he feels fine doing so with Harry, so why not?

“Are you planning on ever going back?” Harry asks, and normally whenever someone asks this, he tells them to fuck off and mind their business.

But with Harry, he shrugs. “Maybe one day.”

Harry nods and doesn’t push any further. “I feel like a lot of people think they’re doing something wrong if they take a break from school,” he says cautiously, Louis curiously looking up at him to see where he’s going with this. “But I think it’s smart. You know? Why go when you’re not in the right mindset to be there? Or jump into a career that you’re not even going to enjoy in the long run? Sometimes you have to take a step back to figure yourself out, because if you don’t, you’re never going to be able to move forward. You’ll just be... stuck.”

Mother fucker. He took the words straight from Louis’ mouth. That’s exactly what he was, he was stuck. He felt so trapped there that he just needed to get out before he was too far along and couldn’t do anything about it.

That was reassuring to hear from Harry, that’s for sure.

“Yeah. Pretty much,” he mumbles, feeling exposed and itchy. He reaches over to grab the telly remote. “You like _Schitt’s Creek_?”

“Um,” Harry muffles through his stuffed mouth. “I haven’t seen it?”

Louis fake gasps. “Let’s change that, yeah? Great fucking show, really spectular, actually.”

“Alright. I trust you,” Harry says, sitting back comfortably on the couch with his beer.

He does his best to fight back a smile.

He fails.

....

They spend the next hour or so watching the show, making conversation here and there. A lot of commentary toward what they are watching, or a simple question about their lives that don’t give away too much.

Just a normal way to hangout with someone you are firstly getting to know, he thinks. Nothing too crazy, nothing too boring. Something easy and simple, but in a good way.

When you can sit next to a stranger in comfortable silence, Louis likes to think that’s already a good sign. There’s no need to rush into the relationship, prying out every single detail you can try to learn within a day. That’s just not how it works, it has to happen naturally.

Louis is ace at this shit. He can tell that Harry appreciates it, too.

He tries to get to know Harry a little better, thinking about his music taste, when he sees Harry typing away on his phone. He’s obviously texting someone, and he can’t help but wonder who.

Family? A friend? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Questions, questions, questions.

But that’s none of his business yet. Or ever.

Anyways, he can still use Harry being on his phone right now to start another conversation, a really easy one that he believes Harry wouldn’t mind talking about.

“So what about your headphones?” He asks, causing Harry to immediately drop his phone into his lap to give Louis his attention. “What are you listening to in those babies all the time?”

Harry flushes. “A bit of everything?”

Louis smiles, knowing what that answer means. “You’re the type of person to have playlists to fit each of your moods, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” he mutters, a smirk tugging at his lips, playful. “You _aren’t_ the type of person to have playlists to fit each of your moods?”

Louis laughs. “Nah. I am. Don’t call me out for it,” he teases back. “Maybe we can share our playlists sometime,” he insists, nudging him with his elbow.

Harry’s head is leaned up against the back of the couch as his glistening eyes sink into Louis’ own. He starts smiling a bit hazily, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I think I’d like that.”

Before Louis can respond, his door is being opened and both their heads snap toward it. Zayn walks in, glances between the two of them and raises his eyebrows. He’s surprised because Louis hasn’t had someone over like this in a long time.

“Oh. You’ve got company?”

Something weird overtakes Harry who just stands up abruptly after staring at Zayn, the blush returning to his face and neck. He’s redder than Louis has ever seen him. “Sorry. I was just leaving. I'll leave.”

Huh. Weird. He wasn’t leaving, he is just scared off by Zayn for whatever reason. “You can stay, man. It’s fine.” He’s not sure why Zayn walking in made him become so panicked. Maybe he doesn’t like meeting new people?

“No, no, it’s okay,” Harry insists, sending him a tight smile. “Thanks for um. Having me. I’ll see you.” Jesus, the boy needs to slow down. Why is he in such a hurry all of a sudden?

Recognition flashes in Zayn’s face. “Right. You’re the new neighbor. How’d Louis convince you to come over to his...” Zayn pauses, really taking in the room. “Holy shit. You actually cleaned. This is a monumental moment and I think I’m going to faint.”

Harry is clearly trying to get through the door (holding tightly onto his ranch, bless him) but Zayn continues to block it. He scratches at his head nervously and Louis does his best not to laugh at the sight.

“You better take pictures because it’s not going to last long.”

Zayn chuckles, looking back at Harry. “So what’s your name?”

“Harry,” he responds, shifting on his feet. Poor thing is a nervous wreck already and Zayn isn’t taking the hint.

Zayn obviously casts his eyes over his entire body. “Harry...?”

“Just Harry?” Harry asks, before his face falls and he slaps a hand to his forehead. “Shit. I mean Harry Styles. You were asking what my last name is. Right,” he laughs nervously, and Louis has to look away because he’s about to laugh at this poor boy.

He hears Zayn stepping aside so he can finally leave. “Well, good meeting you, I guess. Sad to see you’re in such a hurry.”

“Oh. Sorry. I just. Um. I-I’ll see you guys around?” He stutters, basically throwing himself out the door when Louis forces himself to look back at this entertaining scene. “Bye,” he says one last time before turning around to get into his own flat.

Zayn huffs, closing the door completely. “What’s his deal?”

Louis laughs, standing up to clear off the table. “I think he’s just a bit shy or something. I don’t know. He’s a sweet lad, though.”

“You must want to fuck him. Like really bad,” Zayn comments, once again looking around his flat. “Because you _cleaned_ , Louis. When was the last time you cleaned like this?”

“Nah. It’s not like that. I just wanted him to feel comfortable. I think something’s a bit off with him, and I felt bad. He looks like the type of guy who could use a friend, you know? And I’m his neighbor, so. I’m not completely fucking heartless, contrary to belief.”

Zayn shakes his head, crossing his arms. “Not buying it. You want to get in his pants.”

“Fuck off,” Louis snaps, doing his best to ignore him, because for once in his fucking life, that’s not it. Not at all.

....

Two days pass when Louis sees Harry again in his usual spot. He was out taking a walk around their neighborhood with a cigarette, something he does when he feels like he needs it. Which today, he definitely needed it. His flat was nearly suffocating him.

Harry wasn’t outside when he left, but he’s sure as hell there when he returns. You would recognize that mop of hair from blocks away.

He’s got a textbook perched on his lap, a notebook on the bench as he scribbles into it every now and then. Louis doesn’t want to disrupt him, but being a bit bored and wanting some company, he can’t help himself.

So he sits down next to Harry who flinches, glancing over at Louis as a headphone falls out of one of his ears. “Hey,” Louis greets, offering a warm smile before bringing the cigarette back to his mouth.

Harry simply blinks, looking confused. “Hi.”

“Hope you don’t mind me sitting here with you. You can let me know if I'm bothering you.” He decides to say this much, because if Harry sincerely wants to be left alone so he can work, Louis will do that. But he really doesn’t want to move.

Louis feels undeniably happy when Harry starts taking out his other headphone, shaking his head. He runs a hand through his curls, tugging at the loose strands. He offers a small smile to Louis. “I don’t mind.”

He nods, tilting his head as he takes a look at his notes that are just a bunch of words that Louis can’t understand. “So why a veterinarian? I mean, I’m assuming it’s because you love animals, but any other specific reason?” He asks. “It’s a lot of schooling, and it’s not easy, so you must be passionate about it.”

Harry sighs and licks his lips. “Yeah. It’s honestly just because I really love animals and I love learning about them. I know it’s a lot, but in the end I think it’ll be worth it. I’ve always been interested in science and stuff, too. So best of both worlds? I guess?”

Louis huffs at that. “Love science. You’re fucking insane.”

This makes Harry laugh, raising an amused—maybe slightly offended—eyebrow. “Pardon?”

“It’s not a bad thing. I just guess I’ve never met someone who actually takes interest in science. Good for you, though. I wish I had a passion like you do, honestly. I mean, a passion that will actually get you fucking somewhere in life. I also like that you’ve got a soft spot like that for animals, enough to want to work with them,” Louis rambles, blowing out smoke from his mouth and watching it fly into the air.

Harry tracks the movement for a moment before shrugging. “What about you? Do you have a soft spot for anything?”

Louis cackles at that question. “Not me. I’m as cold as they get.”

He starts to become sort of worried that he said something that might be off putting for someone as sweet as Harry, especially since he doesn’t respond right away. He nervously inhales a large amount of smoke, and as he puffs it out, Harry finally says something.

“I don’t believe that. Everyone has a soft spot for something, no matter how tough they may seem.”

He’s right. There are about two things in his life that he’s loved in his life. One being theatre. That’s Louis’ first soft spot that he gave up rather quickly. He’s always loved it, dreamt of it, wanted to be involved within that industry somehow, no matter how big or small. But that’s not something you can admit to just anyone. Not after previous experiences he’s had with that.

(Harry, sure, he seems trusting enough, but he still doesn’t want to.)

And then there’s graphic design. That’s another thing he’s good at and was originally going to school for, and he does miss it, and will put together something every now and then, but he slowly grew out of it, and that’s when he dropped out of school.

See, both of those things, he can’t see them getting him anywhere. That’s why he doesn’t know what to do. He would love to be involved with either or, but he can only see it being a waste of time, even when it’s something he’s passionate about.

It’s almost like his brain refuses to let himself enjoy anything. He can’t help it, he just has such a negative outlook on life.

“Not me,” he repeats, staring at the cigarette in his hand.

Jesus. This is the second time Harry has made Louis get lost in his thoughts, and he barely even said anything to make him go down that path.

Maybe this comes along with his current midlife crisis. Maybe Harry isn’t helping him get through it, but pushing him further into it.

Or is he helping him? By making him actually think of these things he normally avoids?

Whatever. He’s not going to dwell on it. It’s not that serious.

“Guess I’m just going to have to be persistent.” When Louis glances back at Harry, he’s smirking ever so faintly.

This gets Louis to genuinely laugh. He’s charmed, that’s for sure. Harry is bloody charming.

“It’ll probably get you nowhere with me, but you can try.”

“Why? Because you’re stubborn?”

Jesus. “Well, yeah. I kind of am.”

“Seems like it.”

Louis scoffs, surprised at how confident Harry is getting, and rather quickly. “What’s that supposed to mean?! You barely know me!”

“It’s not a bad thing. You just... I don’t know? You seem stubborn?”

“I’m offended,” Louis admits, narrowing his eyes at Harry who starts blushing, looking ashamed that he said all of that. Louis doesn’t care in the slightest, he likes banter like this. “You’re kind of funny, Harry.”

Harry smiles at this, easing up once again. “I am?”

“Yeah. You are. I like you, I think we should hang out more. You had fun the other night, right? It wasn’t all that bad spending time with the stubborn, persistent bastard of a neighbor you have?”

Effortlessly, Harry laughs, slowly closing his textbook. “It was okay, I guess...” When he takes in Louis’ fake, shocked expression, he continues, laughing becoming louder. “I’m just joking! I had a good time, promise.”

Louis nods, scoffing as he collects another intake from his cigarette. “See if I invite you over for another frozen pizza again,” he mutters jokingly, seeing Harry smile from the corner of his eyes.

Sadly, Harry gathers the rest of his things, sighing as he speaks up. “I’ve got to go to work now, I’m afraid,” he explains, actually sounding quite upset with the fact.

“Oh? What’s that, then?”

Harry blushes, of course. Always bloody blushing. “I work at... um. A flower shop?”

Louis instantly starts smiling like he was just handed the stars. “Of fucking course a boy as sweet as you works at something as sweet as a flower shop. Jesus, can you get any more perfect?” Well, he didn’t mean to ask that, but too late now.

Harry eases up at this, implying he was a bit nervous at first about telling him where he worked, but after hearing his reaction, he’s fine again. “Perfect? I am nothing near perfect, Louis.”

“I beg to differ,” he insists, realization hitting him. “That explains why you come home with flowers in your hair sometimes.”

Again, Harry’s smile drops off his face as he looks almost scared. “You see that? How do you... I’m sorry, but what?”

Louis chuckles. “I sit out on my balcony sometimes,” he says, pointing to the area. “And I catch you coming home with them delicately placed in those curls of yours.”

“Oh,” Harry flushes, biting down on his lip. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” He asks, surprised at that response. There’s absolutely no reason for him to have said that. “It’s cute. Sweet.”

Harry shakes his head and stands up. “Thanks. But I’ve got to go now. So I’ll see you, yeah?”

Louis throws his cigarette on the ground, stomping on it. He stays seated on the bench though, looking back up at Harry. “Go on, flower boy. You don’t want to be late.”

Harry nods, not saying anything else as he turns around to walk away. He trips in the process, making Louis laugh lightly to himself.

Such an odd, sweet boy.

....

Louis almost jumps out of his skin when he gets home from his pub shift later that night to see Zayn hunched over by his door. Louis laughs at the sight, digging his key from his back pocket. “What are you doing here, you nutter? Why didn’t you walk in?”

Zayn’s got his own spare key to Louis’ apartment, just because he can. Louis offered it to him so that if he was ever basically passed out in there, Zayn could come and help him out. That’s the life of someone who used to depend on getting blackout drunk, right there.

When Zayn glances up the humor falls out of him because he can see he’s been crying. He immediately stumbles as he approaches him, bending down to grab his hand. “Shit, what happened?”

Zayn shakes his head, squeezing his hand. “Can we just go inside? I didn’t have my key, and I just wanted to wait for you.”

“Of course, babes, c’mon.”

Louis helps him up and leads them both inside after he locks the door. The second they are settled, Zayn starts sobbing and Louis wraps his arms around him naturally. He holds him close and sways their bodies, running his hand along the nape of his neck. It's not often when Zayn wants to be comforted like this, but when he does, Louis is always there to do it.

“Liam cheated on me,” he finally blurts, and Louis tenses straight away.

He pulls away from the hold, only so he can look Zayn in the eyes. “He what?”

Now, Louis knows how it feels to be cheated on. Even when someone like Aiden, someone he was dating and didn’t even like as much as he should have, that shit stung. It stung because knowing you’re replaceable like that? Knowing someone that is supposed to care about you would willingly go out of their way to hurt you?

It sucks.

So, for Zayn to have a boy he was madly in love with, to cheat on him. He can only fucking imagine how terrible he’s feeling. Plus, Louis has watched Zayn fall in love with Liam since the beginning. This is just... fuck.

“He’s been cheating. Not just a one time thing, but frequently. With some fucking bloke from his job.”

Enough comforting Zayn. He’s just simply angry now. Filled with rage, wanting to take it out on the fucking boy that he knew he didn’t trust with his best friend.

He knew his gut was right. He fucking knew it.

But again, this isn’t about that. It’s about fucking Liam, who just broke his best mates heart, and Louis isn’t happy about the fact he’s right. He’s rather pissed.

“I’m going to kill him.”

Zayn looks at him with pleading eyes. “No, Louis, I’m done. I’m fucking done with him. You were right about not trusting him, and I understand what he was doing was absolutely horrible, but I don’t want to see him again, nor do I want you confronting him about it. He’s out of my life and I just want to be with you. Okay? Please? I want to forget about him.”

“Zayn—”

“Please. Just let me move on. I know you care, I know you do. You don’t have to prove it to me by facing him. I said what I needed to say to him before we broke up. And now, it’s over. It’s finished.”

Louis sighs, feeling so fucking guilty about the fact he was actually right about him. He didn’t want to be right. Hell, who wants to be right about that? About their best friend’s boyfriend being a shitty person? He thought one day Liam might prove him wrong, which was what he was hoping, but instead, he only confirmed his accusations, his gut feeling.

Fuck.

“Okay, Zee. Alright. Let’s sleep it off, yeah?”

“Please.”

So they do. They crawl into Louis’ bed after stripping into boxers and tanks and getting themselves comfortable. He tries to ignore the sound of Zayn crying as they fall asleep together.


	3. three

The next morning Louis gets a soft knock on his door. He almost thinks he’s hearing things, that is, until there’s another one, a bit louder this time.

He was just sitting on his couch, smoking a cigarette and daydreaming while he was waiting for Zayn to wake up so they could talk further about what actually happened. He understands Zayn isn’t going to want to go into details, but Louis is going to have to get it out of him one way or another.

Normally they respect each other keeping things inside if it sucks too bad to talk about, but not today. Not after Zayn was sobbing into his arms and crying himself to sleep because the “love of his life” broke his heart.

He puts out the fag and sighs while standing up, and when he approaches the door, he’s expecting Liam. So he swings it open and is ready to yell, let all hell break loose (even though Zayn said not to. Granted, Liam is at his flat, which means he is more than allowed to scream) but he softens up when he sees Harry on the other side holding... banana bread.

Which. The boy made him fucking banana bread. He actually did it.

He stares with his mouth gaped open, and Harry clears his throat, having to be the first one to actually initiate conversation this time because Louis is too in awe at the fact he took Louis’ ongoing joke and made him _banana bread_.

“I um. I made you the banana bread?” He obviously explains, holding it up to prove it. “I know it’s a bit late, but better late than never, right? And I mean, like we discussed, you _are_ persistent and I thought, why not? May as well do it, right? I got home last night and I couldn’t sleep so I—” His eyes start wondering behind Louis and his whole demeanor drops. “Oh. I didn’t know you had... uh. I’ll just go.”

He glances over his shoulder to see Zayn walking in his tank top and boxers. When he turns back to Harry he’s red in the face (always) and he looks like he’s ready to run but Louis manages to catch his wrist this time.

“Nonsense,” he insists, tugging Harry who is currently a deer in headlights. He stumbles in, and Louis closes the door. “Zee, Harry’s brought over banana bread. That’ll cheer you up, won’t it?”

“Fuck off,” Zayn mumbles before making his way to the couch and falling face first into it. He buries himself into the pillows and doesn’t seem as if he’s going to budge anytime soon.

Looking back at Harry who stands there with wide, confused eyes, Louis mouths to him. “Bad breakup.”

Harry makes an ‘Oh’ shape with lips as all the pieces start coming together as to why Zayn looks like such a mess and is acting like a cunt.

He reaches over to grab the bread from Harry while giving him a sincere smile. He really does appreciate him doing this, no matter what the reasoning was. He brings it to his nose, inhaling the loaf. “Mm. I already can tell this is going to make me cream in my pants first bite.”

“Oh my God. Shut. Up,” Zayn snaps, pushing himself off the couch to give him a glare. Despite being heartbroken, he will always call out Louis when he says something he doesn’t like. “You’re such a freak.”

Louis laughs, glancing at Harry over his shoulder and nodding his head. “Come on. Let’s sit down on the couch and enjoy this together, yeah?”

“Well. I made it for you. Not me,” Harry stumbles, eyes fluttering nervously toward Zayn, before returning to Louis. “I can go. I should go. You look like you’re busy and—”

He can tell that he only wants to leave because Zayn is here, and he hates that. Zayn isn’t a bad guy when you get to know him, and he understands that Harry is probably just shy, but he’ll loosen up if he actually stays this time.

Although, Zayn might be more intimidating than he normally would be, considering the situation.

But still. He has to interrupt him and make him stay.

“Harry, please. Just stop freaking out and enjoy a slice with us.”

This for whatever reason makes Harry actually pout. “I’m not freaking out.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No?”

“You literally are freaking out?”

“But I’m not?”

“I beg to—”

“Jesus Christ,” Zayn interrupts their really stupid fucking banter, making room on the couch. “Can you just bring over the fucking bread?”

Louis laughs and it gets Harry to smile as well, and they finally both walk over to sit. Harry, too, despite his best efforts of trying to leave. Ha. Louis wins.

“Anyways,” Louis begins, noticing that Harry has already sliced the bread himself. How fucking nice, he is. “Zayn, it’s time to start talking.”

Zayn scowls, grabbing a piece of bread and stuffing it into his mouth. He looks like a proper mess, crumbs falling everywhere and Louis sort of feels bad trying to get him to talk with Harry here, because they are both not too willing when it comes to opening up to strangers... but he doesn’t care.

He’s trying to tell him through his eyes that, _yes, Harry is fine, you can talk about whatever in front of him,_ because for as little as he’s known him, it’s obvious there’s nothing wrong with doing that.

Fortunately, Zayn does seem to notice. His eyes flicker toward Harry, who is sitting there awkwardly next to Louis, chewing on his bread. He sighs, shrugging harshly. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Lou. I already told you what happened.”

“I want to know how you found out, and what happened after that. You didn’t go into details whatsoever.”

“Why would I want to go into details?”

“Because talking about it might help you feel better. Specifically if you talk to me about it.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “All you’re going to do is say that he’s a piece of shit.”

“Well, yeah... because he’s a piece of shit.”

“He’s not—” Jesus Christ. No fucking way Zayn is still going to try and defend this boy. He’s always been so fucking smitten for him, but even after this? Louis can’t let him even finish that sentence.

He rushes to interrupt him. “No. He’s a piece of shit.”

“Stop. You know I hate it when—”

“Harry,” Louis interrupts again, looking at the boy just watching them fight silently. “Tell him Liam is a piece of shit.”

He blinks, not knowing what to do. He shyly glances at Zayn, brows pinching together, unsure. “Um. Liam is a piece of shit?”

It’s quiet for a while until they all burst into laughter at the fact Harry really just said that because Louis told him to. The way he said it too, holy fuck, this boy is something else. Even Zayn, it gets him laughing too, which thank God. He hates seeing his best mate this upset.

Once they stop, Louis just scoots back on the couch, keeping his eyes locked on Harry, who seems rather proud that he just got everyone laughing together, even if he didn’t mean to. “Liam is Zayn’s ex boyfriend that just cheated on him. They were dating for like, what, ten months? And he just found out last night. I’m trying, obviously, to get him to—”

“Fuck, Louis, you don’t have to tell him all that,” Zayn says rudely, making Harry’s smile drop as he realizes he’s not wanted here.

“Harry’s cool,” Louis dictates, and well, he’s starting to feel guilty because Harry looks like he’s ready to run more than ever. “And he made us this really fucking good banana bread. Jesus, I’m actually surprised at how good this is,” he says after he finally takes his first bite mid sentence, too distracted to do this before.

Thankfully, Harry beams at that compliment. “Oh, thanks. Yeah, uh... I like baking. So I’m glad you like it.”

“I don’t just like it. I fucking love it. I’m going to harass you for this from now on. You thought I was persistent before? Well, good fucking luck, neighbor. It’s only the beginning. This was a mistake on your behalf.”

Harry laughs, eyes glistening as he doesn’t really seem to care about that. Rather, he seems delighted at the sound of Louis annoying him more. “I guess I’ll learn to deal with it.”

They sort of get caught up with staring at each other for a moment there (Louis’ got no idea what is happening) when Zayn clears his throat and snaps them out of it. “I’m just going to go back to sleep. Can we talk when I wake back up?”

Alright. That’s because he doesn’t want to talk with Harry here. He understands, and he’s not going to pressure him to do that. He can deal with that, absolutely no problem. As long as he talks in the end.

“Okay. Sleep well, Zee,” Louis says, and Zayn just gives him a sad smile before getting back up, taking one last slice of bread before heading back into Louis’ room.

Harry sighs the minute the door shuts. “I’m sorry. I had absolutely no idea he was over here, otherwise I wouldn’t have shown up unannounced.”

Louis shrugs. “It’s fine. At least you didn’t show up empty handed.”

Harry laughs, watching Louis eat the bread for a little before talking. “So um. Zayn’s your roommate?”

He shakes his head in response, wiping his mouth with the back of the hand. He doesn’t think much of it when Harry tracks the movement, swallowing thickly as he does. “Nah. Just my best mate who happens to have his own key to my flat. He lives a couple blocks away, and will stop in whenever he feels like it. Doesn’t live here, though. He stayed the night last night because of what happened.”

“Oh,” Harry says, crossing his hands in his lap. “Did you expect something like that from his ex?”

“Not necessarily that, no... I mean. I never liked Liam, but I wouldn’t have thought he would have cheated on him,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Fucking bastard. Zayn really loved him, too, like to the point it was disgusting.”

Harry laughs, tilting his head. A stray curl falls into place on his forehead. “Disgusting?”

“Yeah. He had hearts in his eyes whenever he was around or when he talked about him.”

“Well, isn’t that how love is supposed to work?”

“It’s not appealing to see someone so fond over a dickwad, though. Especially if it’s your best mate in that sort of trouble.”

Harry nods, licking his lips. Damn, his fucking mouth is... no. Not going there thoughts, nope. “True.”

Louis sighs, not wanting to talk about Zayn and Liam anymore. He doubts Harry wants to either, considering he doesn’t even know them (Christ, he barely knows Louis still) and it’s a bit early for drama.

So he glances down at the bread that is already half gone, ready for a subject change. “Anyways. I can’t believe you made me fucking banana bread.”

Harry laughs. “I knew how passionate you were about it,” he says, eyes suddenly going toward his blank wall. “I haven’t forgotten about that mirror I’m going to give you, either. Actually, would you like me to go get it now? While we’re here? That wall makes me so sad.”

Louis chuckles, amused by how genuinely upset he sounds about it. “Go for it, since it'll make you happy.”

“It will,” he insists, standing up. “I’ll be right back. With my mirror.”

He watches Harry go, leaving the door open so he can walk right back in, and Louis smiles more to himself than anyone, realizing that he really wants to keep Harry around.

Like badly.

....

Sometimes Louis thinks about shaving his entire head. Not that he thinks he would look good bald, because frankly, he thinks he would look like a serial killer, but that’s beside the point.

Because hair is his worst enemy. Really, when he’s standing in front of the mirror, trying to make this mess at least a little better, he gets frustrated and wants to give up all together.

Therefore. Being bald would solve this problem.

It’s just that he feels good when his hair is styled, okay? And he can never get it just the way he likes it because it never wants to cooperate with him. Zayn is good at styling it, but it’s not like Zayn is here all the time to help him.

He gives up when it keeps falling in his eye—fuck this hairspray that isn’t doing fucking shit—before hurrying to his door to slide on his white Converses.

He’s already running late to his shift because he was too worried about his hair. He took an unintentional nap after his shower, which means he woke up with it messier than ever.

Fuck, it’s just he’s been so tired after spending all week with Zayn moping around his house. He was constantly crying, and of course he felt bad for him, but Jesus Christ he couldn’t get one moment of peace.

Is he being selfish? Probably. Maybe it’s just deep down he’s still sort of pissed off about this entire Liam thing, that he was right about that dick being a... well, dick.

He wasn’t pissed at Zayn being sad. He was pissed that Zayn _was_ sad. If that makes any sense. And seeing him like that, it was only making him more angry at Liam, where he couldn’t do anything about it.

Whatever. At least now he’s back to being alone in his flat, which is something he missed. He loves his Zayn, and will always be there for him, but Louis needs to be by himself or he starts feeling insane if not.

(Also known as time to wallow in his self pity. No one needs to know that, though.)

At his two other shifts this week, Zayn tagged along and would get drunk and cry. Nick and Louis stared at him, not really knowing what to do as Zayn would ramble for the fifth time about how he’s going to miss Liam and his monster cock. What the hell are you supposed to say to that? How does one react to that normally?

Nick said there are plenty of guys with big cocks in the world, and Louis had to excuse himself to the bathroom so he could laugh and not upset Zayn.

It’s just... once this all blows over, Louis knows that Zayn will be fine and realize how stupid he was for being upset over someone like Liam.

Their relationship happened so fast, and he was just so blinded by it all, that he forgot there are other people out there, probably someone who he’s going to live twice as much as he loved Liam. It’s just getting past this that’s going to be the hard part.

And when that happens, Louis can’t wait to make fun of him for all of the dramatics they are currently going through.

It still doesn’t make him any less pissed at Liam. He still wants to beat that motherfucker for what he’s causing Zayn right now, no matter if they’re going to laugh about it in the future.

He sighs as he grabs his jean jacket before heading out of his flat to get to work. He’s going to have to deal with Nick whining about him being late again, but he doesn’t care. He’s good at tuning him out.

Louis is making his way down the steps when he comes across two other people. He glances up to see none other than Harry, along with another boy next to him.

He hasn’t seen Harry since he showed up at his flat with the banana bread (he also hung up that mirror for Louis which was really sweet) as he probably knew Zayn was still over and he was comforting his friend. Louis didn’t bother seeking him out either because there was no reason to.

But now, that he’s free again, he’s got to make an effort at one point to hang out with him. He does want to try and make that a normal thing, and it seems like Harry might as well.

Harry freezes, eyes widening like he’s just been caught doing something bad for some reason. It almost makes Louis laugh, but he just nods his head at him. “Hey, Harry.”

He almost trips on the step he’s going up, and now they’re only two steps apart when the other boy curiously looks at him, all of them coming to a halt. Harry puts on a tight smile. “Hey.”

He seems off. Louis stares at Harry a little longer before he brings his attention to the stranger, who is looking between the two of them, specifically Louis. He raises an eyebrow before facing Harry. “Is this Louis?”

Harry’s face turns red. Fully red. He swats at the stranger, refusing to look anywhere near Louis now since he’s obviously embarrassed. “Shut up. Now.”

So Harry talks about him to who he is guessing is his friend. Interesting.

“I’m Niall,” the boy introduces himself, looking back at Louis with a devious smile. Something is up. “Harry’s best mate from back in London.”

“Ah,” Louis hums, crossing his arms. Harry never mentioned him before, but then again, they still don’t know all that much about each other. “Nice meeting you. I’d say I’m Louis but apparently you already got that.”

Niall laughs. “Oh, yeah. This one won’t stop talking—”

“Enough, Niall!” Harry panics, shoving him rather harshly. Louis smiles in amusement, enjoying the fact he’s seeing a different side of Harry right now.

Although, he starts to feel his stomach fluttering, now aware that he talks to Niall about him. He supposes it makes sense, to bring up your new neighbor you’ve hung out a couple times with, but still. It makes him feel a little special because in his mind, he’s not worth bringing up. Especially if it’s someone like Harry willingly speaking of him.

“Where are you headed off to?” Niall asks, ignoring Harry’s pleading eyes. “You should come to Harry’s flat. I don’t think you’ve been inside there yet, have you? From what Harry’s told—”

“ _Niall_ ,” he hisses through gritted teeth, face so tight that it would probably crack if you touched it, and this time, Louis actually laughs.

“Can’t say I’ve ever been invited,” Louis says and this makes Harry snap his head up at him, worry spread across his pale features.

“There’s not a reason for that! I’m sorry, I just... I don’t know? Y-You can though. Um. Come over, if you’d like? I was only afraid you’d say no because... well. I’m not sure why you would say no, but.” As he rambles on, he sees Niall in the corner of his eyes putting his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Harry notices too, cutting himself short and sending a death glare to his friend.

Louis speaks to hopefully calm Harry down, from whatever's got him all worked up. It’s funny, how he can sometimes talk smoothly and then other times he can barely get out anything. “I would, but I’m afraid I’m off to work now.”

“You work at a pub, right? Which one was it?” Niall asks and Jesus. Did Harry tell him everything he’s told him?

He glances at Harry with furrowed eyebrows, who throws his face into his hands to hide from humiliation. He just smiles at the sight though, because it’s not a big deal. Maybe a little odd, but nothing harmful.

He looks cute when he’s more embarrassed than usual.

“Yeah. Prince of Wales.”

“We’ll come out later for drinks!” Niall exclaims, nudging Harry and trying to get him to confirm.

He uncovers his red face. “Uh, I don’t know if Louis would like that...”

“I doubt he would care. Right?” He asks, eyes flickering back to Louis.

Louis shakes his head in response. What a perfect opportunity, actually. He would like that very much. “Absolutely not. I love having company. It gets rather lonely there.”

“See?” Niall glances over at Harry who is simply staring at Louis with his teeth holding his bottom lip.

He clears his throat. “Are you sure that’s okay if we show up?” He asks, making the effort to double check with Louis instead of listening to his friend.

Louis smiles. Always so sweet, he is. “Of course it is.”

“Great! Well, we don’t want you being late because of us. We’ll see you later, pal,” Niall exclaims, heading up the stairs and leaving Harry to trail behind him clumsily.

“Okay. Well, I... bye, Louis,” Harry stutters, giving Louis one last look before rushing up the rest of the way.

And suddenly, Louis doesn’t care about going to work. Not at all. Rather, he’s excited to get there and wait for these two to show up. He might even have a bounce in his step as he walks.

....

Harry and Niall arrive at Louis' pub about an hour and half after he starts his shift. He wasn’t even paying attention to the door at this time, because his focus was on Nick that was currently rambling on about this girl he slept with last night, until he heard the loud voice of Niall bellowing through the pub.

“Louis! We’ve finally arrived and we’re ready to drink! Poison me!”

And just like that, Louis can already tell that he’s going to like Harry’s best mate as much as he likes him.

(Okay, maybe not as much. But close enough.)

(There’s just something about Harry that he really likes.)

(Anyways.)

He laughs, not even bothering to listen to Nick finish his story, because frankly, he doesn’t give a shit about his fuck life. “Hey mates. How’s it going?”

He lets his eyes wander over Harry, who’s wearing a large, brown trench coat, with a black t-shirt underneath, blue jeans, and the same pink Converses that he seems to always have on his feet. It’s a casual outfit for the boy (he’s learned that he likes to dress himself up most of the time, nothing wrong with that) but it looks flattering, nonetheless. Like Louis mentioned before, everything fits on him.

“Great,” Niall says as he shakes off his jacket, both of them sitting on the stools across from Louis. “It’s pretty sick in here. You like working at this pub?”

Louis opens his mouth, but Nick beats him to it, ready to chat it up with them. He’ll talk to fucking anyone, acting like he’s known them for ages and that they actually want to hear what he’s saying. (No one ever does.) “Oh, Louis loves it. Almost as much as he loves me.”

He shoves Nick with his hip as he gets some shots ready for them. “It pays the bills and puts food on my table,” he says, smiling as he slides the glasses toward them.

“Fast food doesn't count as food,” Nick argues, making Louis roll his eyes.

“Isn’t it time for you to go?” Louis snaps, wanting this fucker to finally leave them alone. He doesn’t feel like dealing with him anymore, thank you very much.

Plus, it’s been past his shift for the last 20 minutes. He just loves to fucking ramble on and on.

“Alright, I get it, you want to be with your new friends,” Nick mutters, smirking as he reaches over to pinch at Louis’ hip. He swats him away, again. Fuck, why is he so fucking touchy? “See you next shift.”

When Louis turns back to face them once Nick finally starts walking away, Harry’s eyes follow Nick during that, an unreadable expression on his face. He throws his hand at his shot glass, swallowing it in a swift take.

“Sorry about him,” Louis murmurs once Nick is in the backroom. Niall hasn’t noticed anything, since the lad is too busy scrolling on his phone. “He’s sort of really fucking annoying sometimes.”

“He kind of seems like a creep,” Niall says, eyes still attached to his phone. It makes Louis laugh and nod, because... well. He does. Especially when you don’t know him.

“Yeah. But he’s harmless for the most part, so it’s fine. Anyways. What brings you here for the weekend, Niall?”

Harry’s eyes are locked on Louis as Niall starts responding to him, making it hard for Louis to focus on Niall when he talks. “I can’t be away from this one for too long. I’m trying to come in as many weekends as I can. We’ve been friends since we were babies, so him being so far away from me is depressing. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

This snaps Harry out of his gaze that was sinking into Louis, rolling his eyes when he directs his attention back to Niall. “You are doing completely fine without me.”

“No I’m not! I’m missing my other half, and it’s quite sickening of you to think otherwise.”

“Niall is literally friends with everyone in London,” Harry mumbles, eyes back on Louis, explaining. “And you know how big London is. I’m not even exaggerating.”

“What can I say? I’m a people person,” Niall beams, smiling into his hands.

“More like harassing people until they feel pressured enough to talk to you, and then pretend to like you afterwards.”

“You, Harry, are a cunt,” Niall teases, shoving him with his elbow and making him laugh. “I’m extremely lovable! None of that is pretend, so fuck you.”

He can see how they are friends. Niall sort of corrupts Harry, but not in a bad way. He does it in a way to help him loosen up, and feel safe as he does it. It’s interesting seeing Harry interact with someone he’s genuinely close with.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Sure,” he mumbles, eyelashes fluttering as he looks at Louis. “How’s um... how’s Zayn doing?”

Louis shrugs. “Honestly, not any better. But he’ll get over it and once he does, I can’t wait for him to realize how stupid he was for moping around over that prick.”

“Who’s Zayn?” Niall asks, nosy. Louis doesn’t mind it.

“My best mate. His ex just cheated on him and my shoulder is the one he’s been using to cry on.”

“Aw. That’s awful,” Niall says, shaking his head. “I’ll tell ya what. Hell has a special place reserved for cheaters. People don’t realize how much that shit could damage a person, you know? Especially if you don’t expect it coming from them, because you were so in love with the fucking cunt, and then bam. They were busy loving someone else in the meantime. Like, what the fuck? Who does that to someone? I’ll never understand it. Don’t these people realize that we have fucking feelings?”

Louis blinks, taking that as a sign to get them more shots since Niall is now upset over something. He pours the liquid and Harry sighs, causing Louis to glance up at him. “Niall walked in on his ex girlfriend blowing another guy.”

“He was my best mate at the time, too! The fucking audacity of them!”

“That sucks, man,” Louis mumbles because he even knows what it feels like.

Yes, he didn’t like Aiden all that much, but still. It does suck to be cheated on, regardless of the situation.

“She didn’t deserve you,” Harry adds, reaching over to squeeze his friend's thigh once he sees himself that he’s upset.

“Yeah. No one does. I’m too perfect,” Niall jokes, and he glances up at Louis. “I wouldn’t mind dating Louis, though.”

Harry pulls his hand away from Niall like he was burned, glaring at him which only makes Niall shrug, looking far too pleased with himself for asking Louis this.

He stares at them as they obviously are communicating with their eyes and facial expressions, before Harry swiftly decides to change the subject, snapping toward Louis. “How about two beers? If you don’t mind, of course, sorry,” he laughs nervously, scratching at the back of his neck.

Louis can take the hint. He wants a moment alone with Niall for some reason. So he nods. “Sure thing.”

And as expected, when he walks away the two of them are harshly whispering to each other, Niall still cackling as Harry talks to him in a panic. Truthfully, Louis has no idea what’s going on, but he doesn’t question it. It’s none of his business.

When he gets back, they both smile at him like none of that happened. Niall is the one to talk first. “We don’t have to pay for anything, right?”

Harry smacks Niall in the chest, and easily, they all fall into laughter and continue on like they were beforehand.

For the rest of the night, Louis talks when talked to, but honestly, he was enjoying watching Harry and Niall talk amongst each other while getting drunk. It’s just, Harry isn’t as shy when his best mate is next to him, and Louis was entertained seeing this side of him.

Especially when he started getting drunk. He was even more talkative, and all Louis wanted to do was watch and listen to him, realizing how much more he was captivated by the lad.

It’s only making Louis want to befriend him more. Sure, he realizes they are definitely on that path, certainly with the way Harry kept looking at Louis, making sure he was always listening to them, or trying to include him in the conversation.

Plus, he made Louis banana bread. That has to mean the same, right?

Louis isn’t really the type of person to seek friends. He’ll talk to people if they’re around him, but the only person in his life he considers a true mate is obviously Zayn.

With his previous experience with friends, he simply doesn’t want to make any more, because you never know if they’re going to end up a dickwad and completely betray you and your friendship with them.

But after meeting Harry and hanging out with him a couple times, it’s beyond clear that Harry isn’t the type of person to hurt anyone. Even Niall, if he’s going to start coming around more, he wouldn’t mind hanging with him as well.

Maybe this is what he needs to get out of his depressed funk. Two new friends. That’d be a good thing for him, wouldn’t it? Maybe God is giving him this opportunity for a reason.

Thank you, God.

When they leave the pub soon enough, they exit with Louis sober, and Niall and Harry both drunk. This is different for Louis, because if one around him is under the influence, he’s just as much under it, if not the most.

Whatever. He can’t say he isn’t having fun though, watching these two. Especially Harry.

“You, sir, are a lightweight,” Louis accuses him as they are now on the sidewalk, and Harry simply giggles. Fuck. He’s so cute and Louis is so very screwed. This wasn't supposed to happen so quickly.

“Yes, yes I am,” he hiccups, covering his mouth with his large hand.

“He’s also more fucking clumsy than usual so keep an eye on him. He chipped his tooth one time by falling drunk,” Niall explains, clapping Harry on the back.

Louis quirks an eyebrow at him. “Is that so? Let me see?”

Harry smiles widely at him, allowing Louis to peek inside his mouth as he taps his left front tooth. “This one right here. Denture. Looks pretty real, right?”

“You’ve got some buck teeth,” Louis mindlessly states, making Niall burst into laughter. Harry drops his hand, mouth widening before he swats at Louis’ chest.

“That’s rude! And very true!”

They all laugh as they continue walking, and Louis sort of feels warm inside which is... strange. He’s never had this feeling before when around another person.

They eventually reach the complex, and Louis has to help them both upstairs and guide them to Harry’s door. The minute Harry unlocks it, Niall is barging in and Harry stays put, close to Louis.

“Um,” Harry begins, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Niall isn’t near him. When he turns back to Louis, he’s already blushing. “Thanks for being like. Really cool about tonight. I know it probably wasn’t your favorite thing having Niall and I intrude on one of your shifts.”

Louis almost wants to laugh because does he genuinely think he’d be bothered by their company? He thought he had been pretty obvious about wanting to be around him?

“Harry, please. I’d rather have you guys there than the old, rotting bastards that are actually missing their two front teeth. No dentures.” This causes Harry to cackle so loud to the point it makes Louis flinch. He sways a little on his feet and Louis reaches over to steady him. “Easy, there.”

Harry’s eyes move to the point of contact, where Louis’ hands are holding onto his forearm. He quickly looks back into his eyes, his smile slowly falling off of his face. “Okay. Good,” he mumbles, stepping away from him. “Oh, and Louis?”

“Yeah?”

Harry opens his mouth, looking confident for a moment, before that quickly disappears, and he shakes his head aggressively, clearly battling with his own mind. “Never mind. Goodnight.”

Before Louis can interject and ask him what he originally wanted to say, Harry’s slamming the door in his face, not even bothering to finish his train of thoughts. Alright then. That was weird.

Ignoring that last interaction, he turns around with a smile on his face to get into his own flat.

His very lonely flat.

....

Louis treads up the stairs with a bounce in his step, a big bag of hash browns in his hand to bring over to Harry’s.

He figured he may as well help the two lads with their hangover with the way Zayn and him do it. Also, he’s got nothing better to do for the day, since he’s off work and Zayn is probably still crying to himself in his own flat today. He doesn’t want to bother him, rather let him mope around in peace.

When he enters the hallway, he confidently walks over to Harry’s door, knocking on it a couple times. He hits it hard, just in case they are still asleep. It’s about noon, so he doubts they are still sleeping, but you never know.

The door swings open and he’s greeted by a disgruntled Harry, until he sees that Louis is standing there, he softens up and smiles. “Oh? Hi, Louis. Um. What’re you doing here?”

He holds up the bag. “Now I may not be a good cook, but I’m perfectly capable of going down the block and grabbing some hash browns to bring over.”

“Is that Louis?” He hears Niall yelling from behind. Harry keeps his hand on the door and just gives him a tight, embarrassed smile as he continues, eyes never leaving Louis. “And did he say he has hash browns? Let him inside now!”

Harry sighs, moving to the side to do that. “Thank you,” he says sincerely, Louis looking around the flat once he’s in. “You didn’t have to do this. That was nice of you.”

“You weren’t kidding about decorating,” Louis comments, taking in the sight of everything inside here.

Jesus. There’s about a million plants, different colored vases and funky looking mirrors and frames on the walls. It also smells of lavender in here, which is very fitting for Harry. He catches the sight of a burning candle in the living room and yup, that explains where the scent is coming from.

Niall is suddenly barrowling towards them, ripping the bag of food from Louis’ hands. “Harry likes pretty things,” he explains, glancing at Louis with wiggling eyebrows and for whatever reason, it makes Harry shove him.

“Can you not be annoying for one second of your life?” Harry pleads, turning red in the face again. Jesus, why is he embarrassed by that comment? Louis finds it charming, that he likes making his home look this nice.

“It’s really nice,” he decides to say out loud, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m rather impressed. You can tell you took your time with it.”

“You are?” Harry asks, sounding surprised. “It’s not too special, but I guess I like it.”

“I’d hope you like it,” Louis laughs. “It’s your place that you put together.”

“He literally gets horny plant shopping,” Niall says with a mouthful of hash brown.

“That’s it,” Harry snaps, grabbing his friend and beginning to drag him in his flat. He throws Niall on the couch, reaching in the bag to grab two hash browns. “Stay there and be quiet.”

Niall seems completely unbothered. He just continues sitting where Harry placed him, turning on the telly while eating, doing basically what he told him to do.

Amused, Louis watches as Harry comes back toward him, offering him the second hash brown, which he declines with a shake of the head as they all ignore whatever the hell he just did with Niall. “Those are specially reserved for the hungover.”

Harry grins, looking over at the kitchen and clearing his throat. “Um. You want a cup of tea? I can make us some and we can enjoy it without being bothered by Niall.”

He laughs as Niall speaks up. “He just wants you all to himself, Louis!”

Of course, Harry turns a bright shade of red and before he can start stuttering over his words, Louis saves him from doing so. “I’d love that.”

Harry nods, obviously thankful that Louis didn’t make a comment about what Niall just said. He looks over his shoulder at his friend. “You’re in a timeout! Don’t come near us or our tea!”

They both start laughing as Niall flips them off, heading into the kitchen to do what Harry suggested, and Louis starts to think that yeah, he wouldn’t mind getting used to this.


	4. four

It’s been a month of Louis’ life being involved with everything Harry and he couldn’t be more happy about that, which is surprising for someone like Louis.

Especially since Harry has gotten comfortable with him. There’s still a few stutters here and there, and the blush of his cheeks, but that’s something he doesn’t think will ever stop. That’s just how Harry is, he’s learned. He happens to do that with everyone, Louis isn’t special in that sense, unfortunately.

They spend a majority of the days together throughout the week. At least three of them, five at the most. Which is... yeah, that’s pretty serious, if you ask Louis.

They just get along with each other so well, okay? Their conversations and banter are incredibly enjoyable and natural. Everything is easy between them, and truthfully, Louis doesn’t know if he’s ever felt this good around another person before in his life.

(Not counting Zayn, of course.)

(And well... Harry might even beat Zayn. That’s something he doesn’t want to admit just yet, since it’s still early, but... it’s looking like he might.)

It seemed that after that morning when Louis went over to Harry’s flat with hash browns, there was no doubt that they were going to become close. Something shifted that day, specifically for Harry, for some reason.

He just became a lot more confident when being around Louis. He asked for his number, and then they started texting each other pretty frequently.

It was a lot of nonsense, pointless little messages between each other. Harry sends a lot of pictures with random emojis that don’t even go along with them. He also texts a lot of quotes, and something new he learns in his veterinarian courses.

It’s pretty fucking cute and Louis isn’t complaining. He grew very fond of his messages quickly.

Oh, and they both seek each other out whenever they can. He stops to sit with Harry whenever he’s on that bench, sometimes they’ll knock on each other's doors just to say hello and watch something together.

So yeah. It’s just little things like that. That’s what they’ve been doing and learning about each other. And today is a big deal for him, because he’s going back to the university he dropped out solely to see Harry. He promised himself he wouldn’t step back onto this cursed campus, but here he is, going just to see this boy.

He told him to meet him on the bench outside the library, which is exactly where he is, smoking a cigarette while he waits.

It doesn’t take long until he spots Harry, because frankly, the boy is hard not to notice, even among a crowd of people.

He walks with a group, two girls and another guy. He can see the way they react as Harry talks, how interested and charmed they seem to be as they listen intently. He doesn’t blame them, Harry is fascinating once you get to know him.

When Harry sees Louis on the bench, his wide smile is worth coming here on this shitty campus. Yeah, maybe he’ll start doing this more often if he’s going to look that happy to see Louis.

He doesn’t think anyone has ever been that thrilled at just the mere sight of him. It makes him feel something he’s never felt before, honestly. Warmth? Is that it? Is that what he’s feeling? It’s definitely some sort of sappy shit, he’ll say that much.

And Louis is not a sap.

Harry excuses himself from the group to fully approach Louis. He’s got his arms hugging a book, and the goofy grin never leaves his face until they are toe to toe. “Hi Lou. You came.”

“I told you I would,” he laughs as Harry sits down next to him. He glances up to the people he was just walking with, who are definitely eyeing Louis up with curiosity. He can’t say he blames them. “You didn’t have to leave your friends to come by me,” he comments as they pass.

And now that he thinks about it, he’s a bit confused because Harry told him that he had no one here. Those people surely looked like they liked talking to Harry, and that they were his friends.

Harry frowns. “Well, they’re not so much my friends, really. Just people I talk to from class, you know? I don’t really have friends. Obviously, Niall’s my friend, but then there’s like... the people I talk to,” he explains with a shrug. “Besides. I’d rather be with you than them.”

Shit. He’s ignoring the flutter in his stomach right now. That is definitely not happening, nope. He refuses.

Realizing what he just said, he raises an eyebrow. “So. Do you consider me a friend?” He asks curiously, surprised if he doesn’t. “Or someone you just talk to? Eh?”

It’s been over a month since they met, and like Louis mentioned, they have become rather close pretty quickly. He’d consider Harry a friend, of course.

Which is new for him. But he doesn’t think he minds it.

He flushes, pushing his chin into his scarf around his neck. “Um. A friend? I think? But if I’m not your friend, then that’s fine. I totally get it.”

Louis laughs. There’s always going to be moments where Harry is bashful, isn’t there? No matter how comfortable he is with someone? “You’re a nutter. We’ve got along pretty well this past month, no? It’s not that serious if we consider ourselves as friends, Harry. You don’t have to second guess yourself.”

This causes his shoulders to drop in shame. “Shit, I know. Sorry. I know I’m weird. It’s just, it’s been hard for me to let people become a thing in my life, and if it does happen, I’m always confused. Ignore me,” he mumbles, shyly glaring at his lap.

Louis can relate to that. A lot. He can’t help but wonder what happened with Harry though and his previous friendships.

Not wanting to dwell on that part, he just continues on. “It’s cool. I like hanging out with you, and I reckon you like hanging out with me, so yeah. We’re buds, right?”

“Of course, pal,” Harry teases right back, cheeks reddening. He pauses as he thinks about his next words. “Um, and actually... since I do like hanging out with you and all, I wanted to ask you if you would like to go to the zoo with me tomorrow? I haven’t been to the one around here yet, and I obviously really like seeing all the different animals. I thought it’d be something different for us to do? Together?”

That’s true. It would be different. They haven’t really gone out with each other. Only at the time at the pub when Niall came, and then now with Louis visiting him on campus.

Not that he minds. He’d love to start actually doing things with Harry.

(Not in that way. Jesus.)

“Why not?” Louis responds with a smile tugging his lips. “I don’t know the last time I’ve been at the zoo. Probably not since I was a child.”

“I know it probably won’t be too exciting for you,” Harry mutters, self consciously. “And it is kind of childish. But also, it is something to do, yeah? It’s been nice out lately... I mean, it’s a little cold, but nothing a good ole scarf can’t fix,” he expresses as he adjusts the one around his neck. He frowns. “You do have a scarf, right?”

Louis holds in his laughter at Harry’s genuine concern about him owning a scarf or not. “Don’t think I do, to be honest.”

Harry’s frown deepens. “Why not? They keep you warm.”

“Jeez,” Louis says, amused, not understanding why Harry is concerned about this. “I’ll borrow one from Zayn then, if it’ll make you happy.”

Speaking of Zayn, he’s supposed to head to his flat after this so they can smoke and have a nice chat. He hasn’t seen him in a couple weeks, not since he went over there to check on him and see what’s been going on after his breakup.

He’s still moping. But at least it’s been an inspiration for him to draw. His apartment is full of new paintings, and Louis can only imagine that the collection has grown since he last saw him.

“You can borrow one of mine,” Harry rushes, interrupting him from his thoughts. “I have a lot. I don’t mind if you take one.”

“You care a lot about my neck, don’t you?” He teases.

Harry licks his lips as he starts smirking. “I just don’t want you getting cold if I’m making you come with me.”

“You’re weird,” Louis says as he narrows his eyes at him.

Harry only beams. “But you’ll come?” He asks, so delicately and cautiously. Fuck, he’s precious, isn’t he?

(Also what? He’s now thinking about him being precious?? He needs to get a grip, like yesterday.)

“I already said yes, didn’t I?”

“Just checking,” Harry clarifies, rubbing his hands on his thighs. He pauses as he seems to be thinking, and Louis patiently waits, knowing by now that Harry is about to change the subject. “Is it weird being here?”

Louis sighs, looking around the campus that he used to spend a lot of time at with Zayn when he attended. “A little,” he admits, biting his lip.

“Do you think you’d ever come back?”

Harry asked this before, when he came over that one day after they bumped into each other in the grocery store. But he’s probably assuming now that they are closer, that maybe he’d get a more detailed answer.

But truthfully, Louis still doesn’t have one. So he shrugs. “Maybe.”

He doesn’t know if he wants to come back to school. One day he might, when he knows for sure that he’s going for, is going to work out best for him and he simply still doesn’t know what that would be.

It’s hard for him to figure out his life.

Harry seems to notice because he swiftly changes the subject again. “Do you want to walk around a little?”

“I don’t know...” Louis says dramatically, looking at Harry with his best attempt at sad eyes and pout. “I don’t have a scarf. I might get a little... cold.”

“Fuck off,” Harry mutters, kicking Louis’ shin gently as they both start laughing.

....

Harry yelps, ducking his head as a bat flies over them, a little too close for his liking, apparently. He grips onto Louis’ arm, throwing his body into his and trying to shield himself.

Louis only laughs at him, but that ends quickly as another bat flies nearby and he digs his nails into him, hard enough for him to feel pressure underneath his jacket. “Oi! Your claws hurt!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Harry mumbles, pushing his forehead into Louis’ shoulder. “I didn’t think I’d be this scared of bats.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be afraid of no animals, Mr. Vet?”

“No offense, but I don’t think I’m going to be taking care of bats, Mr. Know It All.”

He just rolls his eyes as he guides a timid Harry through the rest of the exhibit. He’s been begging Louis to go as fast as he can so they can get the hell out of there.

They’ve been at the zoo for 30 minutes so far, and Harry has been the most ecstatic he’s seen him. It’s a lot of him dragging Louis around and spitting out as much facts as he can about the animals they look at.

He can see here how passionate he is about it all, and honestly, Louis never thought that someone having such a deep love for animals could be so sweet.

The way Harry’s eyes light up as he proudly tells Louis facts that he’s never going to need to know again, or remember, really. But that doesn’t matter because he wants to hear Harry ramble about this stuff.

There’s something about watching someone heartfeltly speak on something like this that is making Louis almost... happy. Is that weird? Being happy about hearing his new friend talk about the things he loves?

He doesn’t know what to think about it. But at this moment, he can’t really seem to care. All he wants to do is continue listening.

When they finally reach the end, Harry scrambles from Louis’ arms and runs outside, letting out a dramatic breath. He then turns back to Louis, standing up straight and pretending that didn’t just happen. “Fun fact. Bats only turn left when exiting a cave.”

Louis narrows his eyes and points a finger at him. “No. I am not letting you get off the hook with this one.”

Harry frowns and crosses his arms. “Am I not allowed to be afraid of bats?”

“That was fucking hysterical,” he says, shaking his head as Harry shoves at him. “Oh God! Help me! It just flew over my head!” He mocks Harry, who only shoves him again.

“Stop! I didn’t realize that they were going to be able to get so close!”

“I am never going to let you live that down,” Louis says and Harry only rolls his eyes. “Buffy.”

“No,” Harry says, shaking his head. “Don’t you dare start calling me that.”

“Sorry. No can do, Dracula.”

Harry huffs, and starts walking away without even waiting for Louis. “You’re annoying.”

Louis adjusts the scarf on his neck (yes, Harry did end up lending him one) and starts following him. “So what’s next on the agenda? Are we going—” Before he finishes his next question, he harshly bumps into Harry who halted to a stop.

He blindly reaches around to grab Louis’ wrist like he has been, before tugging him along and explaining what he’s doing. “I need you to stand in front of that for a picture.”

Why did he feel the need to grab him for this? Louis doesn’t know. He also had no fucking idea that he was this touchy, Jesus.

Anyways. He glances up to what Harry is referring to and he immediately starts shaking his head. Why the hell would he take a picture with a statue of a giraffe? First of all, he hates pictures, and secondly, he’s not five years old.

“No.”

“Please?” Harry begs, turning around with a pout. “Come on. It’ll be so cute!”

“Why the hell would it be cute?” Louis laughs, trying to ignore what that comment just made him feel inside.

Harry accusingly tilts his head. “Did you not read the sign?”

Louis turns to read whatever he’s talking about, and once he does he only scoffs. “What are you trying to say, Harold?”

“That it’d be cute. _Stand tall and be proud_ , Lou. Come on! Onwards!”

For whatever reason, being taller than Louis is something Harry loves to tease him about. Every time, Louis ignores him, but Harry is pretty persistent with making fun of him for it. God knows why.

Unable to fight Harry, he finds himself walking over to stand under the giraffe, where Harry hurries to back up and dig his phone out. Louis flips off the camera while Harry takes it with the biggest smile on his face.

“There,” he mutters once he’s done taking it. “Happy?”

“Very,” Harry confirms, walking back toward him with a twinkle in his eyes.

They stand there, and Louis is half expecting Harry to continue talking, but he never does. He just stares down at Louis for what feels like forever, that it makes Louis uncomfortable.

So he clears his throat and takes a step back. “Shall we keep walking?”

Harry seems to snap out of it, blinking rapidly and turning red in the face. “Oh. Yeah, um. We shall.”

Louis gives a small smile before they both start moving forward. He’s not sure what that was all about, but he supposes it’s better to ignore it. It’s not a big deal. Harry just got in some sort of trance there for a minute or something.

Now since there is an awkward silence between them, Louis takes it as the chance to bring up a new conversation.

“Have you always wanted to be a vet?” He asks, itching to have a smoke right now, but since he’s unable to, he has to settle with sticking his hands back into his pockets.

Harry nods. “Ever since I was a child. I’d literally play pretend vet with all my stuffed animals,” he mumbles, clearly shy about bringing that up.

Louis coos. “Aw. That’s actually fucking sweet.”

And just like that, Harry snaps back into his previous mood. “What about you? Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what were you going to school for before you dropped?”

He sighs because he expected this question sooner or later from him. Not that he minds, honestly, it’s just he feels like an idiot talking about it for whatever reason.

But then, he doesn’t mind when Harry talks about his shit. So maybe it’s not too bad if he was to talk about his own shit.

(Really good way of wording that, Louis. Just perfect.)

“Yeah. I uh, I was going for graphic design?” He starts and when he catches Harry’s curious eyebrow raise, he continues. “Yeah, yeah. I know, it doesn’t really seem like something I’d do. But it was something I really enjoyed doing. It’s even how I met Zayn.”

“Why do you say that in past tense? Do you not do it at all anymore?” Harry asks, keeping his eyes locked on Louis as they walk.

“Not really,” he admits, biting his lip nervously. “I have a bad habit of giving up on a lot of things I like.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re pointless? Where the hell is graphic design or theatre going to get me? You have to be really fucking talented at either of them to make it far, and I’m just not.”

Shit. It’s weird saying this out loud to someone he’s known for just over a month, but he finds himself feeling well enough to do so. There's no reason not to with someone like Harry.

And he’s asking. He sounds like he wants to know, so maybe he should just tell him.

“Wait, hold on. Theatre? You were a theatre kid?” Harry pries, eyes clearly widening as he pictures that. “Seriously?”

“Don’t make fun of me,” he mutters and this makes Harry panic.

“I’m not! I’m not, I swear! I just... wow. That’s really interesting. I’m not taking the piss either. I genuinely think that’s cool. I didn’t expect it though, that’s all,” Harry rushes, taking off his beanie so he can run a hand through his hair, before putting it back on. “How long did you do theatre?”

“Not that long. Maybe three years,” he explains, feeling his cheeks heating up. Damn it, this is why he hates talking about it. He gets embarrassed. “I stopped because... well, I was sort of sick of getting made fun of by my friends.”

At this, Harry furrows his eyebrows. “People who tease you about doing something you like aren’t your friends.”

“Trust me, I know,” he agrees, thinking back to his group of shitty people he surrounded himself around when he was a teenager. “I sometimes regret it. But also, as I mentioned, it’s not like I was getting anywhere with it. Graphic design was something I did on the side my whole life, and I really enjoyed it. I then wanted to maybe make a career out of it, because I _was_ good at it, but not good enough. So I quit all together and I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, if it’s not obvious enough.”

Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, and Louis can’t help but wonder if he said too much. He probably sounds like a fucking loser, to be honest. He realizes that.

But instead, Harry responds as softly as possible. “If you like what you’re doing, and you’re proud of the work you created, that should be enough. It’s not worth it to give up something you love just because you’re afraid you’re not good enough for it. Success doesn’t depend on how far you make it... I think it depends on what you make _of_ it. If that makes any sense.”

Louis chews on his bottom lip anxiously, knowing he’s going a dangerous route with this conversation. It’s something he tries to avoid because he understands how ridiculous he sounds saying it out loud.

“I sound like a whiny brat when I talk about this,” he mumbles, trying to joke but Harry doesn’t laugh.

“Not at all. You’re simply saying how you feel, and I get it. I do, believe me. All I’m trying to say here is you can’t look at it that way. Just keep pursuing what you love and see where you end up. I think you’d be a lot happier that way, yeah? It’s your life, Louis, don’t do something because other people made you feel less than what you are.”

In the grand scheme of things, that is always easier said than done, but Louis appreciates Harry trying his best to give him this heartfelt advice. He can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes that he’s really trying to break through to Louis and help him realize this aspect of life.

He knows. Deep down, he knows that allowing himself to continue his graphic design career could make him happy, but there is always going to be that nagging thought in the back of his head that’s going to be asking him if he could’ve found something better to do in his life.

Being successful in a way he never thought he would be would be really special to Louis. It would almost be like he proved to himself that he actually has some point in this life, that there was no reason to be so doubtful about everything he did leading up to it.

It’s a bad thing that he views life this way, but he’s never going to be able to stop himself. It’s just how he is, unfortunately.

But Harry’s little speech right there did make him feel like if he continued graphic design, something he genuinely likes doing, that at least there’d be one person supportive of him.

And having someone like Harry by your side when you’re doing something you love?

It doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world.

He forces himself to give a tight smile, not allowing his thoughts to ruin this nice evening they are having so far. “Thanks, Harry,” he settles by saying, not in the mood to make a sarcastic comment or anything more.

“I understand that it probably wouldn’t be your favorite idea,” Harry mutters quietly, almost too cautiously. “But I really would love to see some of your work, if you didn’t mind.”

Louis should’ve expected that question next.

Oddly enough for him, he ends up nodding his head, because honestly, why not? He doesn’t think he’d mind hearing what Harry has to say of his old designs he’s created.

“Yeah, I suppose one day, sure. Only if you praise them all.”

“Of course! I already know that they are all worth being praised. I’ll be your guy for that,” Harry says with a smile, giving Louis a soft nudge with his elbow.

Louis has to fight back his own smile with how genuinely excited Harry is to see Louis’ shitty graphic design art. It’s a different feeling, but he thinks he likes it.

....

“Hold on. You did what?”

“Yeah,” Louis laughs, shaking his head in shame. “Zayn was so pissed at me when he found out.”

Harry stares at him with wild eyes, and it only makes Louis laugh harder. They’re now on their way back from their zoo trip, walking down the streets of Cardiff to head back to their complex, having another chat with random stories to pass the time.

It’s something that’s incredibly easy for them, isn’t it? Just falling into conversations about anything.

“Well, I mean, yeah? You took his bloody boyfriend’s keys so he had to walk all the way home, only to be stuck outside his flat with no way inside? Then he had to walk all the back to Zayn’s? In the _snow_? You’re fucking horrible,” Harry lectures, although there’s a smirk to his lips.

“He deserved it.”

“Not at the time! You guys didn’t know he was a cheater yet and he was making Zayn happy!”

“Well, to be fair, I know these things,” he says as he taps his temple. “I didn’t want to be right, but like I’ve said, I always had a bad feeling about the bastard. I’m glad I was able to pull those pranks on him while he was around.”

Harry scoffs, eyeing him up a little longer before muttering nonsense. “What else have you done?”

“Uhh,” Louis thinks out loud, scrunching his nose up. “Oh. I’ve yelled at Liam at a party once. Caused a scene and everything, all because he left a very drunk Zayn alone with a bunch of people he didn’t know. That pissed me the fuck off, let me tell you. That was the first time I had a bad feeling about the guy. It was like... two months into them dating? I think?”

Harry hums, tilting his head down at Louis to where he can’t tell if it’s curiously or fondly. Or both. “You’re kind of scary.”

Now that comment throws him for a loop. “Scary?” He screeches, making Harry chuckle. “How the hell am I scary? He deserved it!”

Harry shrugs, hugging his arms across his stomach as they trudge on. “No, I agree. He did. And well, I don’t know. Like, I guess, it’s obvious not to mess with you. You aren’t afraid to confront people. See, I could never be like that.”

Louis quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“You’d call out people to their face if they said something to upset you, or someone around you, right? No matter what the situation is?” He asks, and when Louis nods, he continues. “I just let people walk all over me. It’s a huge flaw of mine, and Niall always tries to call me out for it. For my entire life, if I was getting picked on or something, I’d just take it, and if Niall was there, he was the one who defended me. I could never do it for myself. It’s something I’ve been meaning to work on, but I fail every time because it terrifies me.”

Yeah, he could see that being a problem with Harry. He’s too sweet to be rude to anyone, even if that person was upsetting him. There’s no doubt that he would let people take advantage of this undeserving trait he has.

“I get that it’s scary,” Louis begins, fingers itching to grab a cigarette, but he composes himself to just talk and not worry about smoking right now. “But the first time you stick up for yourself, that feeling you have afterwards is going to be worth it. It’ll boost your own confidence and sort of make you respect yourself, even if it’s just going to be in that moment,” he explains, pausing as he ponders on. “Nothing is better than sticking up for your loved ones though, helping them be heard through your own voice. That’s why Niall is always there for you, ya know? If you’re not going to do it, he’s definitely going to do it for the both of you.”

Harry blinks, really taking in his words. Really, Louis thinks he sounds like an idiot, but for some weird reason, Harry seems to actually value them.

“There were times that I should’ve stuck up for people. But I sort of just froze... which I still regret to this day,” Harry admits quietly, and oh fuck. He didn’t mean to make him go into a dark place. Shit.

“I haven’t known you long, but I have a feeling you were still there for those people afterwards, right?” He asks, and Harry hesitantly nods which pushes Louis to continue quickly. “It’s okay if in the moment you froze. That happens. But being able to comfort them when they need it the most, that’s something they’re always going to remember, regardless. Trust me.”

“I guess,” Harry murmurs, anxiously playing with his scarf. “I’m just... I’m sort of a pussy,” he whispers like it’s a curse word, and Louis understands that this is a serious conversation between them, and for fucks sake, he can’t even stop himself as he laughs.

He starts laughing, trying to stifle it with his hand but it’s too obvious what is going on. Harry—fucking thankfully—giggles with him, but not without giving Louis a soft shove.

“I’m sorry,” Louis blurts, covering his face with his hands. “It’s just the way you said it. I get we’re having a serious talk and—”

“Oh, please. You can’t be serious with you for more than two minutes. I’m not surprised that the word pussy made you laugh.”

He looks back at a smiling Harry who is looking back at him. “Okay, fine. You’re right,” he says before groaning. “Ugh. And we were doing good too with the deep conversation again! That was two in one day!”

Harry bursts into laughter, covering his mouth with his large hand. “That’s a record for us, I think.”

“It is. I sort of liked it,” he actually admits, feeling rather good about everything they discussed today. A good amount of it all, really. Serious, silly, whatever.

“I definitely did,” Harry agrees, biting down a smile. “You’re not all that bad, Louis Tomlinson. You really took me by surprise.”

Sadly, they are one block away from their complex as they start this new conversation that really intrigues Louis. He wants to hear what this boy has to truly think about it.

“Yeah? How so?”

Harry shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring at the sidewalk, head down. “You’re just... really... I don’t know. Vibrant?”

“Don’t know if I’ve ever been described as vibrant,” he mutters, because well, who has been? It’s not everyday that someone is labeling you as that word specifically.

“You are,” Harry pushes bravely. “It’s a really good thing. You’re also annoyingly kind without even realizing you’re as such.”

“Me? Kind?” He asks with a shaky laugh, another thing he’s not often described as.

Harry simply smiles. “Yeah. Like I just said, you don’t realize it. Believe me. But I see it with how you would drop anything for your friends, like with Zayn when Liam cheated on him, you were with him that entire week. Today, for instance, you don’t give a shit about animals or anything, but I asked you to come and you did. The biggest part of it though, was you listened. I could tell you were actually listening to me ramble, and you didn’t like... judge me for it? I think? Not in a bad way at least. Or maybe you did. You said you were a theatre kid, so maybe you’re good at acting,” he teases, and Louis bursts into laughter at that.

But huh. He never thought about it that way.

Not wanting to really allow himself to have these positive feelings about himself for too long, he results in sarcasm like always. “You know what? Maybe I could make it far in theatre after all.”

Harry cackles, both knowing that Louis is only joking. It makes Harry’s eyes sparkle as he glances back down at Louis, just as they arrive at their complex.

They enter the building with their laughter settling down, walking up the steps as they are both swinging their arms happily. With that, Louis’ hand ends up brushing against Harry’s, and almost like he just touched fire, Harry rips his hand away, and holds it into his chest before clearing his throat. “Wait. Let me get the door,” Harry suggests quickly, rushing ahead to push it open for them as they reach the top.

He ignores whatever just made Harry freak out like that (when deep down he knows what it is, because he felt it too when their hands slightly touched) and laughs. “Do you think I’m incapable of opening it for us?”

“Just trying to be nice,” he mutters, letting Louis walk into the hallway.

Louis doesn’t say anything in response to that until they are both standing in between their two doors. He’s kind of sad that this day is already at an end, because for once in his life, he was enjoying every second of it.

Every minute spent with Harry was sort of great, wasn’t it? Even if nothing crazy special happened, it was still rather fucking great.

He decides to break the awkward silence. “I’ve got to say, I don’t know what I was expecting for today, but it was rather fun,” he admits, taking off his scarf to give back to Harry. “We should go out more often.”

“Yeah,” Harry coos, eyes sparkling. They quickly snap down to the scarf he’s extended toward him, shaking his head aggressively. “No. You keep it. I don’t want you being cold ever again.”

Louis scoffs, but doesn’t fight it any further. “Alright then. Weird, but okay.”

Harry starts smirking, hand on his door handle but not making the effort to turn it so he can walk in. “But you meant it? You’d want to do something like that with me? Again?”

“Of course,” he laughs, giving him an odd look. “We’ve already established we’re friends, right?”

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but he closes it quickly. What he does next takes Louis by surprise, because the boy removes his hand from the door, only so he can close the distance between them, enveloping Louis in this tight hug.

He makes a grunted sound at the sudden gesture, returning it to Harry. This is the first time they've ever hugged. “Thank you for being so great. I’m really glad you came with me.”

“Anytime, Buffy,” he jokes, and Harry pulls away, keeping his hands gripped on his biceps to give him a glare.

“You just think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah. That’s because I am.”

Harry narrows his eyes before releasing his hold, taking a step back. “I’ll see you, Lou. Text me, okay?”

He almost laughs because they just spent all day together, and literally live across the hallway from another, but he deep down wouldn’t mind texting him all night either, so he just nods. “Okay,” he answers simply.

He doesn’t miss Harry’s gleaming smile as he goes into his own flat.

Right then and there, Louis realizes how fucked he is that he might actually like Harry, for Christ’s sake.

Not just in a friendly way.

This hasn’t happened to Louis in a long time. Maybe even ever, really. Because when he was with Aiden, sure, he liked the boy, but not in this way. Never like this.

It’s kind of scary. One month isn’t that long to be feeling this strongly about someone already... right? Is that not normal? Or is it normal? See, Louis wouldn’t know this since he’s never experienced it.

Maybe he should talk to Zayn.

When he gets inside his flat, he barely has time to close the door before he gets a text on his phone. He rolls his eyes, already knowing who it’s from.

**Harry 8:54 P.M.**  
_*attachment image* Thank you again, Zoouie:)))))_

He also sent the picture of Louis under the statue that makes him laugh, before he texts him back a string of animal emojis, and knowing that yeah, he definitely fucking likes this boy.

Whatever that means.


	5. five

“You and Harley have gotten super close.”

Oh Zayn. “It’s Harry.”

“I said that, didn’t I?” Louis shakes his head. “Oh. Well, that’s what I meant. You and Harry. What the hell? Why did I say Harley?”

“Two things. Maybe it’s because we are high as shit right now, and also the fact I’m wearing a Harley-Davidson shirt.”

“Oh yeah. That makes sense.”

Louis rolls his eyes, bringing the blunt back to his lips as he lets his head rest against the back of the couch.

It’s been a couple weeks since his little zoo trip with Harry. They’ve seen each other a few times, of course, going on walks throughout town or crashing at one of their flats like normal. Nothing new there.

But again, they’ve gotten even closer since. Which isn’t fucking good for Louis’ thoughts, as he can’t stop fucking dwelling about liking the boy more than a friend.

He’s trying to ignore it. Really, it’s not a big deal if he has these feelings but doesn’t act on them. No one will ever know and he can have a small crush on Harry in secret.

And... Jesus. That’s exactly what it is, isn’t it? He’s a 24 year old man with a pathetic crush on his fucking neighbor.

He doesn’t know what to make of that.

“Liam texted me this morning.”

Louis’ turns to his friend, eyes widening at this new knowledge. “Sorry? You fucking ignored him, correct?”

Zayn sighs, staring at his blunt like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I did. But I wanted to answer.”

“Good,” Louis mutters, just glad that he didn’t give in. “I mean, it’s good you didn’t respond to him. You can’t go back to him, Zee,” he clarifies, basically begging him.

“I miss his co—”

“How many times do I have to tell you I am sick of hearing about Liam’s cock?”

Zayn scoffs, glaring at Louis from the side of the couch he’s on. “You would understand if you experimented with it.”

Jesus Christ. “Why do you word things like that?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t fucking know. Like that.”

“I can’t believe he was using that beautiful cock to cheat on me with,” Zayn says out of nowhere, and just as Louis is about to be as dramatic as he can, he’s saved by a knock on the door.

It makes Louis groan, only because he doesn’t feel like standing up. So he bends his head back, knowing who it is. “It’s open!”

When he sees it swing forward, he’s only slightly startled when Niall throws himself in, but calms down once he sees Harry slowly following.

“Hiya Louis mate! I’m back! Did ya miss me?” Niall shouts, and Louis can only smile because he’s such a sweet lad. It’s easy to get along with him after spending just one weekend with him.

“Well of course. The best Irishman I’ve ever come across meeting.”

“That means he’s probably the _only_ Irishman you’ve ever met,” Harry teases, and Niall nudges him.

Zayn kicks his foot, probably irritated at the fact there’s two new guests here. Then the thought crosses Louis’ mind as Zayn gives him a confused look. “Oh, right. Niall, this is Zayn, my best mate. Zayn, that’s Niall who is Harry’s friend from back home.”

“Sick. Nice meeting ya,” Niall says with a grin, glancing around the room. “You lads are going to share, right?” He asks, pointing to the blunt Zayn is holding.

Zayn gives a threatening glare toward Louis who laughs. He holds his own blunt up, knowing that Zayn isn’t one to ever share. “You can just take mine, Nialler.”

“Yay,” he drawls, walking over and falling right in between Zayn and Louis shamelessly. He glances over at Zayn right away, and Louis fears for what is about to come out of his mouth. “Were you the one that was cheated on?”

And yup. There it is.

Louis glances up to Harry who is shaking his head disapprovingly about his friend, making Louis chuckle as they are both thinking the same thing.

“Thanks, Louis, for telling everyone,” Zayn mutters, and before he can even answer, Niall continues.

“Hey, I’m not judging. I just know what it feels like. I was dating this girl until I walked in on her sucking my best mates dick. I was torn up about it for weeks, that is, until I seeked out her ex boyfriend for revenge. I slept with him once, which helped me realize I am fucking bisexual, so maybe I should thank her for that. I always thought I liked boys too, but that really helped me confirm it. Taking it up the arse, that is. Good things do come out of bad situations, after all,” Niall rambles as he dramatically brings the blunt to his lips.

And wait. What? What the hell did he just say? He left out that part when he talked to Louis about it, that’s for sure.

“Niall, I told you not to tell that story,” Harry mutters as he falls into the bean bag chair on the side of the couch. “You sound like an utter fuckwad.”

Oh. Makes sense.

“I’m trying to cheer Zayn up,” Niall explains, looking back at Zayn who is staring at Niall with wild eyes. “You ever sleep with a girl?”

“No... because I’m gay.”

Niall quirks an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh. Then never mind.”

Louis has to bite down a laugh at this interaction, and thankfully he’s distracted from it when he feels a hand wrap around his ankle. He brings his attention to Harry who is staring up at him with the biggest grin on his face. “Come down here with me.”

He’s a clingy thing. “No thanks. I’m perfectly comfortable on my spot on this couch.”

“But I’m lonely,” Harry pouts, tugging at his ankle. “Please?”

For fucks sake.

He rolls his eyes as he gets up to settle himself on the beanbag with Harry, who couldn’t look more blissful that he convinced Louis to do so.

Their thighs push up against each other, and naturally, Harry lets his hand fall onto Louis’ thigh and just keeps it rested there.

“Happy?” Louis asks and he readjusts his elbow to lay more comfortably.

“Very,” Harry confirms. “How have you been?”

Louis chuckles. “Well, from the last time I saw you which was what... two days ago? I’d like to say nothing really has changed.”

“So good then?” Harry tilts his head, eyes locked on Louis’ own.

“Yeah. What about you?”

“Same. Niall showed up yesterday and dragged me to some nightclub.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, unable to picture this in his head. “You? At a nightclub?”

“It’s mostly me just standing at Niall’s side with a drink in my hand as he chats up everyone inside,” Harry explains, earning another laugh from Louis.

He glances over at Zayn and Niall to check on them, and Niall’s currently rambling about his life back in London. Zayn seems to actually be listening, and Louis would know that look in his eyes any day.

He’s interested in what Niall’s saying. Which is a really good fucking sign. And unusual for him, at least that is happening this quickly.

“You should’ve texted me,” Louis says, turning back to Harry who is already staring at him. “I would have loved to join. You haven’t been lucky enough to see me on the dance floor yet.”

Harry’s eyes light up with that visual but quickly fades away. “I thought you were working and I didn’t want to bother you.”

Sometimes, Harry still gets a little insecure about approaching Louis first. He has gotten a hundred percent better at it, don’t get him wrong, but there are still random nights that he doesn’t for some reason.

“Yeah, actually... you’re right. It probably would have bothered me. I’m glad you didn’t,” he playfully teases, and Harry nudges him harshly in the hip.

“You’re so annoying,” Harry mutters, a little too fondly though.

Just as Louis is about to open his mouth to banter back with him, he’s interrupted by Zayn laughing. Which. What the hell?

He glances over to Zayn covering his mouth with a fist, Niall continuing his story about whatever it is. Louis doesn’t even bother listening, all he can see is that Zayn is enjoying Niall’s company. After five minutes of knowing him.

And he’s laughing. As Niall has a hold onto Zayn’s wrist that he almost didn’t notice. Zayn doesn’t laugh with people like that, or let alone, let people touch him like that. Sure, he’s high... but still? What the fuck?

They’re fucking flirting.

Louis can’t believe it. So he snaps back to Harry in near shock to point this shit out. “Would you look at that? Our best mates are flirting with each other,” he observes, nodding his head toward them.

He’s actually in awe. Zayn isn’t one to like someone the second they start talking. He normally has to be around that person for a while until he starts being openly nice, but Niall? Nope.

It makes sense though, with the type of person Niall is, he supposes.

Harry giggles, letting his head fall backwards all while keeping eye contact with Louis. “Our children fancy each other.”

“Children?!” He shrieks, making Harry laugh harder. 

“Why are you so surprised with them getting along?” Is what Harry ends up asking.

“Because Zayn’s... Zayn.”

“And that means?”

“He’s Zayn.”

“Okay then,” Harry laughs, narrowing his eyes at Louis. “Niall’s charming when he wants to be. I knew he’d take a liking to Zayn the second he saw him.”

He looks back at the two, who are sitting a little closer than they were before, this time Zayn telling his own story now.

Honestly? Thank fuck for this. It’s a way to get his mind off of Liam and finally like someone else.

“It’s rare for Zayn to fancy someone. Liam was basically the first person he did, and if he ends up liking Niall, I wouldn’t be all that mad about it.”

Harry nudges him again to get Louis to look at him. When he does, he scrunches his nose, clearly debating his words. “Is there anyone _you_ fancy?”

What? Why the fuck is Harry asking him that? There is no way he’s giving him the true answer, because why would he? He’s not about to scare off the poor boy.

So he tries to play it off as best as he can. “Me? Nah. Haven’t in a while,” he lies, licking his lips anxiously. “You?”

Harry shrugs. “Maybe.”

Wait... huh?

Holy fuck. Is it... is it _him_? Is that what’s about to happen and why he just asked this? Shit, maybe Louis shouldn’t have lied then.

He smirks, although his heart is pounding against his chest. “Yeah? Who?”

Harry’s eyes dart all over his face, like he’s searching for the answer. He clears his throat, sitting up a bit straighter and starts playing with his hands. “Well, there’s this boy in one of my classes.”

Oh. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. See, that’s why he didn’t tell him. Harry liking someone like him? Definitely not happening. He’s glad they’re talking about this now, actually.

And well, at least there's his answer whether or not Harry likes boys.

He tries to not look affected. “Are you going to give me the details or not? I’m shaking with anticipation.” Louis only knows how to be sarcastic in any given situation, including the ones where he’s upset.

Harry gulps, and something seems off, but he continues regardless, carefully searching Louis' eyes. “His name is Noah. We talk sometimes and he’s always been really nice to me. He seems interested in me.”

Of bloody course he’s interested in him. Everyone is fucking interested in Harry.

“Ah. Well, if I’m going to give you any best mate advice, I say just ask him out. If you think he fancies you, then go for it. He’s probably too intimidated to ask you himself.”

Harry laughs. “Oh? Because I’m so intimidating?”

“To be fair, approaching you is like trying to approach a rabid racoon trapped in a corner. You look so fucking intense all the time.”

“Hey!” Harry laughs even more, pinching Louis’ hip. “What does that even mean? Intense?”

“You do this thing with your eyes and eyebrows. You are obviously a peach once you talk to you, but your facial expressions are hard. Nothing wrong with it. But I can say if he hasn't asked you out already, it’s probably because of that. Also he might be afraid of rejection. So just do it, pal. You’ll be happy once you do.”

Harry frowns but nods anyways. “Yeah. I’ll do it this week at school. Thanks for your encouragement. And I’ll try to loosen up my eyebrows.”

“Please do. But I’m afraid it’s too late, the wrinkles you’ve caused on your forehead are a tragedy. No cream or moisturizer could ever fix those worry lines.”

Harry laughs again, but it still doesn’t meet his eyes. He’s about to try again, ask him if he’s nervous about being rejected himself, but Niall speaks up before he can do so.

“Harold! Why didn’t you tell me Zayn was so great?”

“I’ve only hung out with him like once,” Harry murmurs, cheeks reddening as he does so.

Louis takes this as the chance to really look at his mate, who has sparkling eyes and yup. This is it. He found someone.

“Does this mean I won’t have to hear about Liam’s cock ever again?” He asks out loud, watching as the color drains from Zayn’s face, throwing a pillow at Louis that smacks him in the chest.

He laughs, and tries to ignore how tense Harry has gotten in the last minute.

He’s sure that it’s nothing.

....

Louis never wanted to be the type to give someone as sweet as Harry the cold shoulder, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when he came waddling at his pub with his fucking date. Seriously, what was he thinking?

He thought he was seeing things at first until he was snapped out of it by Harry excitedly calling his name, walking over all smiley and introducing him to Noah, who is a dirty blonde haired midget boy.

(Okay. He’s not that short. Probably a little shorter than Louis. But still.)

“Louis, hi,” Harry greeted, eyes wide as he sat down. “This is Noah. Noah, that’s Louis, one of my best mates.”

He gave a curt smile, secretly wanting to reach across the bar and strangle Harry. Not one of his brightest fucking ideas, is it? Louis doesn’t want to watch him on a date with another boy.

“Hey guys,” he murmured, glancing over at Noah who looked just as confused as Louis felt. “Beers good for the both of you?”

“Definitely,” Harry responded, all bubbly and not having one care in the world, apparently.

Or thought. There is no way this boy thought this through.

Louis desperately glanced over at Nick as he went to grab them two beers, rushing toward him so he could whisper in his ear. “Hey. Would you care if I left early tonight?”

Nick was amused because Louis never asks to leave early. Not ever. “Why?”

“Because I feel sick,” he lied, grip tightening onto the glasses.

“I don’t know if I could handle it,” Nick teased and Louis sucked in a deep, shaky breath.

“Nick, please. I never fucking missed a shift here in my life. I just... I can’t be here right now.”

“Why? Because your new boyfriend brought over a date?”

Shit. He can’t be that obvious, right? Harry only came to the pub one other time after that trip with Niall. He doesn’t think that Nick would’ve been able to see anything that would imply that Louis might like the fucking boy.

But whatever. He didn’t care enough to ask him any questions. “Please? I’m saying fucking please.”

Nick sighed, glancing over at Louis to take in his distraught state. “Alright. Only because I’m the best fucking person ever, I’ll let you leave.”

“Thank you,” Louis breathed, trying to think how he could go without being too obvious. “Actually, can you like, come over by me in a couple minutes and tell me I have the rest of the night off? So it doesn’t look like I asked you?”

“Damn, Louis,” Nick chuckled, curiously looking in the direction at where Harry was seated. “You really like that curly haired lad, don’t you?”

You have no idea. “Will you?” He asked, ignoring his question.

“Sure,” he gave in, not pushing him any further.

Louis was thankful as he turned back around to give the beers to them, trying to ignore that butterfly feeling in his stomach when Harry lit up the second Louis came back. “Here ya are.”

“Yay,” Harry cooed, watching Louis carefully. He could tell that Harry figured something was up, but with their new company, he didn’t ask about it specifically. “How’s your shift tonight?”

“It’s fine. Really fucking slow, if it’s not obvious,” he said, waving his hand around the empty pub. “Time is dragging.”

“Good thing we’re here to keep you company now,” Harry grinned, tilting his head at Louis the way he does.

Louis couldn’t figure out what Harry was doing. Why did he bring Noah here? He was wondering that as he peered over at Noah who still looked uncomfortable.

Did their date go bad? And Harry didn’t know how to politely send him off, so he figured he could take him to Louis’ pub to save him?

No, that’d be ridiculous. They probably just ate somewhere nearby and wanted to have a drink, so Harry dragged them in here.

But still. Couldn’t he have picked a different pub?

Part of him felt like he should’ve checked in on Harry, but he was sure he was fine. He couldn’t exactly get Harry alone without it looking weird, and he knew if anything, the worst thing going on with this date was that it was awkward.

He found himself glancing between the two, both were sipping at their beers, Noah miserable, Harry chirpy. It was... strange.

Again. Louis didn’t bother asking.

Thankfully, before they could start a real conversation, he was saved. “It’s your lucky night,” Nick approached, slapping Louis on the back. “I’m sending you home early. I don’t really need you here getting paid to chat up your friends again.”

God bless his fucking soul.

Louis nodded, not even bothering to fake a fight. “Fine by me,” he agreed, already throwing the rag on the counter that he was holding as Harry sadly spoke up.

“You’re leaving?” He questioned, even though they literally just fucking discussed that.

“Yeah, it’s rather dead in here and I need the money more than this bastard does,” Nick answered, and Louis could’ve kissed him right then and there.

“You’ll stay and have drinks with us though?”

At this, all three of them glanced at him oddly because... well, why the fuck would Louis join Harry on his date to have drinks?

“Uh,” he started, flabbergasted. “We can do that another time, H. You know, when you guys aren’t on a date.”

Harry’s shoulders dropped and he turned bright red in the face, seeming like he didn’t even realize what he was talking about. “Of course. Duh. I didn’t mean it like... no, yeah, you uh... go, then. I’ll see you at home,” he stuttered, eyes widening once he realizes what he said. “Because we’re neighbors! Not that we live together or anything, because we don’t, I swear.” Harry hurriedly looked at Noah who was more lost than he already was, and Louis had to get out of there.

“Okay. Well, bye lads. Have a good night,” Louis said as fast as he could, before he literally almost jogged out the door.

The second he got outside he lit up a cigarette and started walking.

And that’s what he’s been doing since that weird interaction, just walking and smoking by himself in the cold night. He hasn’t gone home yet, because he doesn’t really want to be alone in his flat.

He doesn’t mind walking outside in the fresh air to get his mind cleared.

The only thing Louis can think about is he’s fucked and needs to get away from Harry a couple days. He feels himself falling into the dark place, the place where he’s reminded that he amounts to nothing.

(Yeah, maybe it’s a bit dramatic. But he doesn’t care. Louis is a dramatic person.)

Having Harry as his friend is fun and all, but now knowing that he’s the one with this one sided crush thing, it’s almost irritating.

It’s irritating because now he’s going to have to listen to Harry talk about the new boys (or girls too, Louis doesn’t know his sexual orientation) that he fancies, and also hear about the people that are fancying him. Maybe see him go on more dates.

Which, he is not letting Harry drag one of them to his pub again. He just doesn’t know how to bring that up, but yeah. That was fucking horrible and awkward.

He sighs, glancing up to the stars and wishing that life could give him a break.

Just for one fucking minute.

....

Avoiding Harry is nearly impossible. Well, he went about a good four days before he saw him again. He knew it couldn’t have lasted too long, considering they’re neighbors and all.

Luckily, as Louis is leaving his flat to get a couple new packs of cigarettes, Harry’s coming out the same time, probably to head over to one of his shifts at the flower shop.

They both freeze for a moment, and Louis realizes he needs to be the one to break the silence, since he’s the one who's been going out of his way to ignore Harry.

“Oh, hey Harry,” Louis says as they both awkwardly stare at each other as they close their flat doors.

“Hi Lou,” he reponds quietly, frown already forming. He seems to be nervous. “Are you doing okay? I haven’t heard from you in a couple days.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he breathes, running a hand through his hair. Damn, it’s getting long, isn’t it? He needs a trim soon. “Just you know. Life.”

Harry’s frown deepens. “Life? What’s wrong?”

Jesus. He should’ve remembered that this is Harry and not Zayn, and he hasn’t openly talked about the weird funks he gets into sometimes.

Also, why is he being so awkward? Louis is rarely awkward, but he can feel himself getting itchy and not knowing what to do with his hands. He needs a cigarette, he at least knows that much.

So he hurries to start walking toward the stairwell, nodding his head for Harry to follow him, which he does. “I dunno? I get into these phases where my mind sort of fucks with me. I can’t really explain it, but yeah... I wasn’t like, purposely avoiding you or anything.”

Lies.

At least he’s not lying about being in a phase. That’s definitely something he was going through. It just happened to be that Harry was a part of the reason he was going through it.

For fucks sake. He’s so pathetic.

“I’m sorry,” Harry says, opening the door for them. “Do you want to talk about it? Can I do anything to make you feel better?”

Louis sort of wants to punch Harry in the face for being the sweetest person he’s ever met right now.

(Not really.)

“Nah. I usually ignore it until it passes. Don’t worry about me,” he grumbles, once again feeling like a loser talking to him about his problems.

And jeez. He really does sound fucking pathetic, now that he realizes it.

He’s known Zayn long enough for him to fully witness him getting into these funks, and he understands Louis in more ways than anyone else could. Throughout the years, he’s seen him go through a bunch of shit, so he’s used to it.

Zayn can kind of expect it, and he has already seen Louis at the low points at his life more than a handful of times. Just like Louis has seen Zayn at.

But Harry, he’s barely known and he’s already unloaded his shit about dropping out of school, how he doesn’t want to get a career involving the things he loves in fear that he’ll be unsuccessful, and now he’s talking about the dark phases he gets in.

He sounds so fucking pathetic.

“Louis...” Harry begins slowly as they’re walking down the steps, dragging him away from his thoughts. “Sorry, but of course I’m going to worry about you. You don’t have to like... brush it aside because you think I don’t want to hear about it. I asked, didn’t I? And... we’re friends, yeah? Friends talk to each other about this stuff.”

He laughs, which only worsens Harry’s frown and he has to hurry to explain why he’s laughing. “Shit, sorry. It’s just that Zayn and I have this weird thing between us, that if we don’t want to talk about it, we don’t. So hearing you say the complete opposite of what we normally do is funny to me.”

“Oh,” Harry says, cheeks turning pink. He opens his mouth to continue, but instead, he closes it, probably not even knowing how to respond to that.

“I appreciate you asking, though,” Louis insists, causing Harry to nod. “I’m just a mess sometimes and I don’t want to make you listen to that. It’d be selfish of me.”

“No it wouldn’t,” Harry argues, looking back at Louis with his eyebrows pushed painfully together. “You don’t have to worry about that, not with me.”

The annoying part of Louis wants to keep saying he’s fine, but with the way Harry’s watching him as they get outside, he can't find it in himself to not.

So he sighs, fingers immediately finding his pack of cigarettes. Thank fuck he has one left, otherwise he might’ve died.

(Okay. Louis is a little dramatic. Just a little.)

“Like I said, I don’t really know how to explain it. My mind sometimes turns against me, and I start thinking about all the things I’m doing wrong in life, or the things that are wrong with me in general.”

“Basically you start doubting yourself more than you usually would?”

“I guess?”

“And then you get sad about it?”

Louis huffs, not liking that question. “I don’t get necessarily get _sad_ , Harry,” he protests, shakily lighting his last cigarette as he holds it between his teeth.

“It’s okay if you do,” Harry insists softly. “I get sad, too. Everyone does. It’s a normal part of life. It doesn’t make you any less than what you are. If everyone was happy all the time... well, I’d be a bit concerned, wouldn’t you?”

Yeah, he’s not in the mindset to talk about this. He thought he could push through it for Harry’s sake, but he can’t.

He shakes his head, and this seems to be enough for Harry to finally get it. “Enough about me,” Louis mumbles, inhaling as much smoke as he can. “How are things going with Noah?”

Harry shrugs, obviously upset that their conversation isn’t continuing, but allowing it anyways, for Louis. “They’re not.”

“Oh?” He starts, trying to not sound happy about that. “Why not?”

Frankly, Louis should’ve seen this coming with how he left them at the pub. Noah was clearly uncomfortable, and it didn’t seem like Harry wanted to be left alone with the guy.

Sometimes people just don’t mix when they go on a date. There’s nothing wrong with that happening.

“I wasn’t feeling it.”

Ah. It makes sense.

Not really knowing how to properly react, he sort of nervously fiddles with the sleeves of his jacket. “That was fast.”

“Yeah. It doesn’t matter,” he brushes off, looking back at Louis. “I uh. I have to start walking to work now so I’m not late. But like, do you want to come to my flat tonight? Niall is coming in again, and you could invite Zayn, if you’d like. I know Niall wants him there.”

Louis laughs. “Zayn has been texting me all week screenshots of Niall from his Instagram. He’s smitten for that boy.”

The smile is back on Harry’s face. “Funny, because Niall has been doing the same exact thing with me.”

Their laughter fills the air quickly, and Louis nods aggressively. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll be there. See you later, then?”

“Yup,” Harry smiles, taking one step back. “Don’t be shy about bringing your own condiments.”

“Well, what are we eating?”

“Sushi.”

Watching Harry’s expression change, he realizes what is going on here. “Is this your way of asking me to bring soy sauce that you don’t have?”

Harry blushes and bites his lip. “You are headed that way to get a new pack, aren’t you?” He asks, referring to his cigarettes.

“Harry fucking Styles. You sneaky bastard. You’re making me pick up sauce for the get together you just invited me to?”

“I don’t have enough sauce for it if you guys are coming! I didn’t think it through...”

Louis shakes his head fondly. “Only if you come back from your shift with flowers in your hair.

“Done.”

....

“Are you sure my hair looks okay?”

“Yes. Does mine?” Louis asks, even though he’s the reason they are currently late as he spent too much time looking in the mirror.

Granted, Zayn was pretty much right up there with him. There was a lot of hairspray fumes surrounding them. They almost died.

Zayn rolls his eyes for his response and just as he does, the door is swinging open and of course, a very happy Harry is on the other side.

“You’re here! And you brought your own soy sauce!” He exclaims, and immediately Louis bites down a smile at the sight of the little daisy tucked behind his ear.

“Yeah, after you made me go out of my way and buy it,” he teases, and Harry beams as he moves to the side to let them in.

He places a hand on Louis’ shoulder as he faces Zayn. “Niall’s in the bathroom. He has been in there the last 20 minutes trying to shape his hair into perfection, so if I were you, that would be the first thing I’d make a comment about.”

Louis cackles at that. “Much like Zayn. That’s why we were late.”

“Was not! You were the one that was—”

“Now, now, we’re not talking about me,” Louis defends himself quickly.

Zayn rolls his eyes at him again. “You’re annoying.”

“Tell me about it,” Harry jumps in, dropping his hand from Louis’ shoulder and earning a harsh nudge in the hip.

“Who asked you?”

Harry smiles in response. “Why don’t you guys go sit on the couch? Do you want anything to drink?”

Louis and Zayn both ask for beers before doing what Harry suggested. He closely watches Zayn as he sits, nervously playing with the strings on Harry’s blanket that is folded neatly on the couch.

“Zee, there’s no need to be nervous. Niall is literally—”

“Lads! You’re finally fucking here! I was about to drag you out of the flat myself. What took you so long?” Niall blurts the second he comes out from the bathroom.

And what Louis was going to say is that Niall is the easiest person to talk to and get along with, that there is absolutely no reason to be nervous around him, even if he likes him.

Point proven, really, because the second Zayn sees him, he starts smiling and Louis watches as his body eases up. “Hey, Niall. Your hair looks great.”

Louis smiles to himself and Niall gets comfortable next to Zayn. “Thanks. I put a lot of effort into it, ya know? Touch it.” He leans his head forward and Zayn pats it. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s as hard as a rock and isn’t moving anywhere.”

“I could say the same about yours,” Niall teases, reaching up and touching Zayn’s hair. Louis expects him to push him off like he normally would, but with Niall, he just lets it happen. “Damn. We’ve got some good fucking hair.”

Louis feels his arm being softly poked and he glances up to Harry who is holding up his beer. He takes it into his own hands. “Thanks.”

“Here, Zayn,” Harry says as he holds the beer in front of him. He glances over at his friend. “Niall, you can get your own drink.”

“What kind of host are you?” Niall huffs, standing up immediately and shoving Harry who almost falls back.

“Jesus,” Harry coughs, waving his hand in front of his face. “How much cologne did you put on?”

“Enough to hopefully kill you!”

Harry rolls his eyes as he sits down next to Louis (closer than he needs to, honestly) reaching over and grabbing the remote. “Niall wanted to watch _Twilight_ , what’s everyone think?”

“I did fucking not! He’s just saying that shit to embarrass me and it’s not going to work! Don’t even fucking try me, Harry, because you watch that shit unironically,” Niall shouts from the kitchen, hurrying back to where they are all seated. He points a finger at him. “This one has a fat crush on Robert Pattinson.”

“You don’t?” Harry asks, and Louis finds himself with his chin resting in his hand, just simply looking at Harry.

He can’t stop. He just fucking likes him, okay? He likes listening to him banter with his friend, tell his stupid jokes, the way his hair falls perfectly onto his forehead and surrounds his pale face, those taunting dimples, his jeans hugging his thighs perfectly, a loose jumper that makes him look so soft.

The boy is kind of perfect. There’s not a flaw about him and it pisses Louis off because it makes him have the urge to kiss him.

Yeah, that’s a thing. He really wants to fucking kiss him.

“My movie suggestion was _Catch Me if You Can_. They just put the shit on Netflix. Harry’s the one who wanted _Twilight_ , so judge him for it. Not me. I’m not weird.”

“Louis loves that movie,” Zayn says and this gets Harry to snap his head at him.

“You like _Twilight_?”

“No,” he laughs, removing his chin from his hand to sit up straight. “ _Catch Me if You Can_.”

“So you’re a DiCaprio guy?” Niall asks, reaching over and grabbing himself some sushi that Harry has nicely placed on the coffee table.

“Have you _seen_ him in that pilots outfit?”

“I have. That’s exactly why I want to watch it. I’d fist bump you right now, Louis, but we’re too far apart,” Niall explains, making Harry scoff.

“I thought you were on my side,” Harry grumbles childishly, peering at Louis behind his long eyelashes.

Louis pauses. “But... it’s Leo DiCaprio.”

“But Robert Pattinson?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Niall groans. “And put the fucking movie on. I’m bored.”

“Zayn hasn’t given his opinion. He’s the tiebreaker,” Harry urges, and Louis smiles to himself at Harry’s consistency with this damn film.

“Sorry, Harry,” Zayn says for his response, making Harry pout as he starts to put on the movie that’s not his choice.

“It’s okay, Buffy. We can watch your vampire movie next time,” Louis teases, eyes lighting up with amusement. “Maybe I’ll start calling you Edward.”

“That actually is my middle name,” Harry laughs, pout going away as he puts the movie on. He glances over at Louis once he’s done, hands falling in his lap. “I’d prefer that as opposed to Buffy.”

“Never mind. I’m not giving you a nickname you like. That’d be ridiculous.”

Harry’s mouth gapes. “You’re literally insufferable.”

“Shut up!” Niall demands, earning a middle finger from both Louis and Harry.

For about 40 minutes into the film, it’s spent with Louis making as much annoying commentary as he can, resulting with Harry joining him to further annoy Niall who is actually trying to watch the movie.

Zayn at one point grabbed the blanket to cover both Niall and him, leaving Harry and Louis to curiously exchange looks to one another, watching as they eventually started cozying up.

It soon got quiet after they gave up on their commentary, and you could just tell that Niall and Zayn were doing everything they could to not do something in front of Harry and Louis.

Being able to take the hint, Harry is the one to lean down to whisper in Louis’ ear, and he tries to ignore how fucking close they are as he does this. “Want to go in the kitchen with me to grab more beers?”

Taking this as an indication that Harry just wants to leave Niall and Zayn alone for a minute, he nods and stands up, having Harry follow him in there. When he turns around, he decides to confirm his thoughts with him. “You just want to discuss those two weirdos, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he laughs, leaning against the counter. “I was scared Niall was about to start giving Zayn a handjob under the blanket.”

Louis cackles, crossing his arms across his chest. “I can’t fucking believe this is happening to us.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “What? That our two best mates want to fuck each other?”

“Precisely. I don’t think you realize what a pest Zayn is when he finds someone. I mean, granted, I’ve only dealt with him having heart eyes for Liam, but that was the worst fucking 10 months of my life.”

“Niall is the same way. One time I thought my ear actually fell off when he was talking to me about his one girlfriend, the one that cheated on him and helped him discover he was bisexual,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I still can’t get over him telling Zayn about that the second they met. He’s so...”

“Unique?”

“I was going to say brainless, but yeah, that works too.”

Louis smiles genuinely. “They’re a perfect match, aren’t they?”

“I’m afraid so,” Harry says, licking his lips. “What are we going to do if they break up?”

“I’m taking Zayn’s side.”

“And I’m taking Niall’s.”

They stare at each other blanky, narrowing their eyes with challenge as well. “Their breakup will probably be the reason for our divorce.”

Harry bursts into laughter, slapping his hand over his mouth the way he always does when he laughs too loud. “Let’s just hope they will stay together forever, then.”

He understands they are just joking, but hearing Harry say something that indicates he wouldn’t mind being friends with Louis for a long time, that means a lot to him.

Trying to ignore the fact his feelings are expanding more and more every second, he speaks up quickly. “Should we check on them?”

Harry nods, and they both slowly start walking back toward the living room. Almost like clockwork, Louis and Harry watch in awe as Zayn and Niall lunge at each other, sticking their tongues down their throats.

“Holy shit,” Harry whispers, throwing his hand onto Louis’ wrist, holding it tightly as they watch this event unfold in front of them, completely frozen.

This is actually happening. Holy shit. Go Zayn. “We need to get out of here,” Louis states and Harry is already nodding when he glances at him, both of their eyes almost falling out of their heads.

“Definitely.”

And just like that, Louis drags Harry out of his apartment, leaving Niall and Zayn making out in his living room. The second they are outside the door, slamming it shut, they fall into each other and burst into laughter, hands grasping onto each other, Harry letting his face dig into the crook of Louis’ neck.

It’s nice. Louis thinks he could get used to Harry laughing in his ear as they make sure they are touching in one way or another. He wants to be intimate with Harry, and not in a friend's way.

The only problem is he’s not sure what to actually think of it. He’s trying his best not to let his mind get the best of him, but rather enjoy the moment he’s in instead.

“C’mon,” Louis finally speaks, pushing Harry off of him. They lock eyes, and Harry looks enthralled. “Let’s go.”

Harry’s response is intertwining their hands again, even though they were pulled apart for only a couple seconds like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

So much for trying to ignore his thoughts.


	6. six

As the nerves start kicking in, Louis pulls away from Harry’s grip once they are outside walking. “We should go to a pub,” he suggests, stuffing his hands into his jean jacket pockets instead. “What do you say, Buffy?”

“I say we should and we shall,” he agrees, all smiley and happy. It makes Louis laugh because it’s not the best recommendation, but Harry still sounds thrilled. “I hate this."

Louis smirks. “What? That our best friends started snogging each other the second we left them alone?”

“Like... I expected them to? That’s why I brought you into the kitchen? But I didn’t think they actually would?” He laughs, running a hand through his curls. “I’m so excited to give Niall shit about this.”

“I would give Zayn shit about this, but I think I’ll let him have his moment after what happened with his previous relationship.”

Harry laughs, gazing at Louis as he takes out a cigarette to smoke as they go on their walk. One thing about Harry is the boy isn’t afraid to watch you do just about... well, anything. His fucking eye contact is something Louis isn’t used to and still gets intimidated by to this day.

“Niall thought you were attractive,” Harry says out of absolutely fucking nowhere, making Louis nearly choke on his fag. “It was the first thing he said to me after we ran into each other in the stairway.”

Louis curiously quirks an eyebrow up at him. “So in other words, he wanted to shag me?” He asks. “I so would have done him while I had the chance!” He jokes, making Harry narrow his eyes at him.

“You would not,” he mutters, shaking his head disapproving. “That’d be... no, just no.” He visibly shivers, making Louis cackle.

“Not the most pleasant image I take?”

“Well... no? You’re... it wouldn’t work,” he explains, waving his hand desperately in the air. “You two? No fucking way.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended or not,” he admits teasingly, of course earning a wide eyed Harry in response.

“Not like that! It’s not because I don’t find you attractive or anything! Because I do, duh. Obviously I’m attracted to you. Wait, no, not like... that sounded weird. I mean, I assume everyone thinks you’re attractive, otherwise they are just blind,” he rambles, throwing a hand over his mouth. “Shit. I’m doing it again.”

Well, well, well. Harry finds Louis attractive. Interesting.

Or maybe he’s just saying all that because he felt guilty, making it seem like he didn’t want Niall and him to get together just because of that.

He knows what Harry meant. He was just messing with him. He doesn’t want Niall and Louis to get together since they are both his friends. Just like he wouldn’t want Harry and Zayn to get together.

He decides to help Harry out a bit and not make fun of him in return for once.

“It’s cool, Buffy. You don’t need to worry about embarrassing yourself with me since I find you attractive as well. It’s not weird to think your best mate is good looking. Have you _seen_ Zayn?”

For some reason, this makes Harry pout. “Yeah... I’ve seen Zayn. I think he’s better looking than everyone,” he grumbles, glancing back at Louis with red cheeks. “Well. Almost everyone.”

Louis decides not to read into that. Whatever that was.

Thankfully, they’re saved by the pub and Louis sighs once they are in front of it, keeping his cigarette in his mouth as he opens the door for the both of them. “How about we forget this conversation and get us that drink?”

“Absolutely,” Harry answers quickly, stepping inside like he couldn’t get away fast enough.

The second Louis walks in, Nick spots him and points a finger at him. “No smoking in here, Tomlinson. You’re not special.”

“Yes I am,” he responds, guiding Harry with a gentle hand on his back to the stools. “I’m not on the clock so you’re not the boss of me.”

Nick reaches over and rips it from his mouth. Louis throws his middle finger at him and soon after that exchange, Harry orders them both a margarita because he insists that’s what they need to unwind, but he also insists on paying for the both of them.

“Harry, that’s unnecessary—”

“Shh,” Harry hushes, bringing his finger to his own lips. “Let me treat you.”

Louis rolls his eyes and Nick chirps in. “Yeah, Lou, let him treat you,” he winks and Louis sends him his best threatening stare. “Alright. I’ll get your drinks and go. Jeez.”

“How could I forget about his annoying arse being here,” Louis mutters, clenching his jaw. “We should leave as soon as we can.”

“Nuh uh. We have to enjoy a drink or two,” Harry insists, smiling with all his teeth showing. “We can’t go back into that building until we know it’s clear.”

Louis huffs. “The building as a whole?”

He nods. “Who knows what monstrosity is going to be happening in my flat with those two? I want to be as far away from that as possible.”

“Fair.”

Harry nudges Louis suddenly to get him to look in his direction. Once he does, he’s met with Harry still smiling. Jesus, why is this boy so fucking happy? “This is nice.”

Louis laughs. What a weird thing to say. “What is?”

“This.”

Nick returns with their drinks and thankfully doesn’t say anything. He just gives Louis another wink who glares at him again, before he can bring his attention back to Harry.

“What? Us hanging out? It’s nothing new, innit?”

Harry flushes and shrugs, bringing the margarita to his lips. “I guess not. But still. I like being around you.”

Louis’ staring at Harry and is starting to think he had more to drink than he let on. That would explain a lot, actually, if he’s nearing getting drunk. Maybe Niall and he had a couple drinks before they arrived.

He likes to ramble nonsense when he’s got a good amount of alcohol in him from what he’s learned.

“I would hope you do. It’d be a bit awkward if you didn’t.”

Harry laughs. “Growing up I had a lot of people that probably considered me as friends, but I never considered them as my own. I’ve mentioned this to you before, but it’s so hard for me to just click with people. I think in total, there have been... four people? That’s including you and Niall, by the way. All the others were just people I talked with and could enjoy it at times... but I dunno. If I didn’t have to talk to them, I wouldn’t. It’s different with you guys,” he rants, purposely looking toward Louis. “With you I don’t have to think everything through. I sort of just let myself talk instead of being conscious about everything I say.”

Yeah. Harry’s definitely drunk.

Louis gives him a cocky grin. “Maybe you should reconsider yourself.” Harry rolls his eyes and scratches his temple with his middle finger facing Louis, making him burst into laughter. “No, but in all seriousness... I’m glad that I’m special. I always thought I was. I love bringing out the best in people because you know, I am the best and all that—”

“Oh my God,” Harry chuckles, eyes completely amused. “I’m never complimenting you again.”

“Yes you will. You’re always looking for an excuse to remind me of how great I am.”

“I actually hate you, so.”

“You wish you hated me!”

“There was a time when I did hate you, don’t forget.”

“Yeah, when we first met after you spilled a fucking smoothie on me while I was drunk. Which I had every right to be mad at you about. Plus, that only lasted what? Like two seconds?”

“No you did not! I was absolutely mortified and was doing everything I could to try and apologize! You came out of nowhere and I couldn’t hear you.”

“Because you were blasting your emo playlist.”

“Wrong. It was my pop perfection playlist.”

Louis scoffs. “Of course it was.”

Harry, smiling (shocker), tilts his head at Louis with crinkled eyes. “What’s wrong with that? Sometimes you need some Backstreet Boys in your ears to make you feel better about life.”

“Does that still happen? Where you have to make a smoothie in the dark hours of the day and head off for a walk?” He asks, realizing he hasn’t heard much of this conversation before.

They never really revisited it. He didn’t feel the need to because he figured that Harry didn’t really want to talk about it, since that was his way of shaking off his anxiety during the night. Make a smoothie and head for a late walk outside.

Of course he’s noticed that Harry’s got some anxious ticks, that he gets nervously really easily over little things. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but they just haven’t spoken on this yet. He didn’t think that Harry wanted to talk about it, but now that they’re here, maybe he’s thinking that was a mistake to think that.

Talking is good for some people. Sometimes they need to let it out.

Harry’s smile falls off his face, and he shrugs his shoulders hesitantly. “It’s better. When I have trouble falling asleep, I find myself getting lost in my head which I hate doing. So I’ll do something like reading, meditation, watch a film, or sometimes, I’ll go for a walk. But when I really can’t sleep, I’ll make myself tea or a smoothie. That one I drink? A magnesium smoothie? It’s specifically to help with anxiety, so that’s why I have that. I dunno, I understand I sound a bit crazy, but—”

“No, you don’t. A distraction is a distraction.”

“Maybe that’s why I like hanging out with you so much.”

Louis cackles. “What? Because I’m a distraction?”

Harry nods, placing his chin into the palm of his hand, still looking at Louis softly. “Yeah. Like I said, I don’t overthink when I’m with you. I feel safe. It’s a nice change.”

Suddenly, it’s all making sense. That makes sense why Harry wants to be with him whenever he can. Louis feels it too, when he’s with him, he sort of forgets about all the shit going on in his life. That is, unless, he’s reminded of it, but Harry does a rather good job at distracting him as well.

They’re kind of a perfect match for each other, aren’t they?

....

Problem. They are both drunk. Well, Louis is casually drunk while Harry is the drunkest he’s seen him yet. He’s never been this loud around him before and it’s making Louis crack up every time he opens his mouth.

“Nick! Please tell me a story about Louis. I don’t care what the story is, but preferably one that would humiliate him,” he shouts from across the counter, making Louis kick his shin.

“Lucky for you I never embarrass myself.”

“That’s incorrect,” Nick says as he walks over. “Don’t you remember your second day on the job?”

Louis ponders for a while but the memory never comes back. “Can’t say I do. If I don’t want to remember it, chance is my brain lets me forget it. I’m talented that way.”

“Tell me,” Harry pressures, sounding oddly antsy to hear this story.

“We were both walking out at the end of the night after our shift, and it was icy from all the snow, and Louis was going on and on about himself, like the selfish prat does, and mid sentence he slips on ice. It was one of those cartoon falls, you know? He knocked into me then, making me fall with him and it happened right in front of a group of people who all tripped over us, falling as well. I think because of this one, there were about six people on the ground.”

Harry’s eyes widen and Louis suddenly groans, remembering that indeed happened. Wasn’t one of his finer moments, quite frankly. “So you’re clumsy as well!”

“Am not,” he defends himself, shaking his head. “It was fucking ice. Of course I’m going to slip on it.”

“Oh no, Louis is definitely a nut. He’s always tripping and falling here, he’s just good at playing it off cool.”

Harry smacks his chest. “You are never allowed to make fun of me again.”

“You have yet to see me fall.”

“I don’t care. I’m taking his word for it. You’re just like me.”

Louis rolls his eyes and Nick continues on. “There was one time that Louis banged his head against—”

Getting annoyed with these stories, he stands up quickly to interrupt him. He’s been wanting an excuse to go for the last 15 minutes, and he’s being given it right now. “We’re leaving,” Louis demands, still holding onto Harry’s wrist, trying to drag him out. “Come on, you bimbo.”

Harry is giggling suddenly, standing up and letting Louis bring him out of the pub, nearly stumbling a couple times on the short distance outside. “This is the best day of my life,” Harry breathes, standing up straight once he composes himself. “You’re kind of an idiot.”

“I am not.”

“That story tells me otherwise.”

“That story can go fuck itself.”

Harry reaches his hand over to pinch Louis’ cheek. “I actually found it cute. And charming.”

“Well, that’s because you’re fucking weird,” Louis reprimands, ignoring completely what Harry just said about it.

They both start walking and Harry seems way too amused. “Thanks. You’re always so sweet, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. That’s me,” he agrees, causing Harry to continue giggling.

There’s a comfortable silence between them as they head forward, and Louis has to fight back a smile that is trying to make its way onto his face.

It’s just... being with Harry. It makes him undeniably happy. For absolutely no fucking reason. He feels something he’s never felt before, and the funny thing is, he isn’t against it. He wants to continue feeling this way.

That’s all it is. Happy.

Soon enough, the sky above them starts to roar and they both halt at the sound. They look at each other, then to the clouds, back to each other.

“No fucking way it’s about to rain,” Louis groans as lightening then strikes, really wishing he had a beanie on to hide his hair from it.

“It literally is,” Harry laughs, watching Louis with wild eyes. “Come on. We have to run before we get caught by the worst of it.”

He scoffs dramatically. “I don’t run.”

“You do now.”

“Harry, you can barely walk decently drunk, how the hell are you going to—” It starts raining and without pushing it any further, Harry takes off and doesn’t even wait for him to finish. “You fucking cunt!” He shouts, trying his best to start running after him.

Suddenly, Harry spins around and waits for Louis once he realizes he’s got his way, and they both start sprinting on the sidewalk, Louis able to get a good distance ahead as Harry is clearly doing everything he can to stay on his feet without falling.

All Louis can hear is the sound of their laughters filling the streets, his body becoming soaked but not even caring because he’s having a good time.

How is that possible? How can it be pouring rain, to the point he’s getting drenched, while he’s drunk, and he’s not pissed about it?

This is new. It’s really fucking different for him.

Once he’s outside their complex, he stops and bends over to catch his breath, but that doesn’t last long as Harry’s barreling into him, almost sending them both to the ground. Louis catches them before they go down, Harry wrapping his arms around Louis and laughing far harder than Louis is.

“Fuck, that was hilarious,” Harry breathes, squeezing Louis tighter to him, and Louis still can’t catch his breath.

“Let go of me,” Louis demands, pushing him off. They then both hurry into the building, running their hands through their soaked hair.

Meanwhile, Louis is done laughing but Harry can’t stop. “Oh my God, I can’t believe that just happened.”

“This is awful,” Louis grumbles, taking off his shoes and socks before they even walk up the stairs. “I spent all that time on my hair for it to get ruined.”

“It looks amazing,” Harry chuckles, eyes drifting to the mess. He then bites on his lip and erupts into more laughter, clearly meaning that he just lied and Louis can only confirm that his hair looks awful.

“Fuck you.” He can’t even say anything bad about Harry’s hair because even drenched like this, it still has perfect curls sticking out everywhere.

He turns around and starts heading up the stairs and he hears Harry groan. “Ugh. Your feet are going to be filthy. Why did you take off your shoes? And socks? What the hell?”

“Because I can’t stand the feeling of wet socks.”

“Wow. That’s something I never thought I would learn about you but I’m so glad I did.”

Louis shivers as they reach the top, realizing just how cold he is. Suddenly, he’s becoming the angry drunk he normally is, and just wants to take a hot shower before falling asleep.

He shoves the door open and just as they reach the hallway, Harry is hurrying to walk next to him. “Are you okay?”

How the hell did he even catch onto that? He became annoyed in what, three seconds? And Harry noticed? This boy is going to be the death of him.

“As okay as a drunk guy drenched in dirty rain water could be,” he mumbles, and Harry nods, seeming a bit relieved. Did he think he was bothered with him?

“Alright,” Harry counters, both of them stopping once they are outside their flats. “Well. This is me.”

Louis laughs at that, getting Harry to beam all over again. “Really? This is me, too. Weird.”

Harry nods, glancing between his door and Louis. “They can’t still be doing it... right?”

He shrugs. “Zayn could go at it for days.”

“So could Niall.”

They both stare blankly and suspiciously at each other before acting.

Louis presses his ear against the door trying to listen, but it’s distracting when Harry’s doing the same, his body basically pushing against Louis’ smaller one. “I can’t hear anything,” Harry whines.

Quickly, Louis wiggles away from him and pulls out his keys and doesn’t let himself think twice before he makes his next offer. “They definitely fucked and are probably either sleeping on the couch naked, or they borrowed your bed. You can crash at mine tonight.”

Harry bites down on his too big of a smile. Why is he so happy about a fucking sleepover? “Yeah. Sure,” he agrees, clearing his throat. “But um. Am I allowed to shower and borrow clothes because I’m too scared to even go in there to grab my own.”

Louis nods, glancing down at his soaked clothes and giggling. “Of course.”

They get inside and Harry is acting like he’s never been in here before. He stands by the door anxiously, waiting for Louis to wave him into his bedroom with him. “We sort of basically live together, don’t we?” He asks on the short way there.

“Um, what?” He’s a bit taken back by that question.

“I mean, we literally only have a couple steps separating our flats. And we’re together a lot of the time. It sort of feels like we’re flatmates, at least.”

Now Louis is the one getting nervous. He tries to distract himself as he opens his closet to find something that would decently fit Harry. “I guess.” He doesn’t understand what point he’s trying to make.

He does some digging as Harry stands behind him, obviously just watching, and Louis freezes once he comes across one hoodie.

It’s Aidens. One that he left here and he never returned (for obvious reasons. He didn’t want to see him again). He just threw it in his closet and never bothered looking at it again until now.

He understands that this is his best option for Harry, since a lot of Louis’ clothes would be tighter on him and he wants him to be comfortable, especially after being drenched like they are.

So he sighs, taking it off the hanger as weird as it may be seeing this on him. “This should fit you,” Louis says as he throws the hoodie at Harry.

He barely catches it, but once he does, he holds it up so he can see what it looks like. He makes a weird face, and the weirdest part is when he brings it to his nose and inhales it. “This doesn’t smell like yours.” When he notices the incredulous look Louis is giving him for doing that, he continues. “Not that I know what you smell like! I mean... well, actually, I kind of do? I guess? But it’s not like I am actively sniffing you or something. You know? You just have a like... distinct scent. It’s good, don’t get me wrong! And... never mind. I’m talking shit.”

This fucking boy. Louis laughs, knowing Harry is just weird and chooses to ignore it. “Nah. You’re right. It’s my ex’s hoodie he left here one night. I never washed it, obviously. Never wore it or returned it. So yeah, it’s going to smell like him,” he explains as he walks over to his dresser to find sweats that might fit him.

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Your ex? Ex... _boyfriend_?”

Louis nods, realizing they never really spoke much about preferences when it comes to genders. Not that he’s gay though, because he’s not. He’s pansexual, but that doesn’t come up unless it needs to be said.

“Yeah.”

He finds a baggier pair of sweats that should work on him, turning around and holding them out. Harry is as red as a tomato, nodding as he takes the pants. “Oh. That’s um. Okay. Sick.”

“Sick?” He laughs, tilting his head. “I have never heard you say that.”

Harry shrugs, looking over toward the bathroom. “Now you did.”

Louis doesn’t question it. He just sighs uncomfortably. “Okay then. Well, you can go shower first. Then we can—”

“No, no. You go first. Please. You’re shivering.”

Is he? He is cold, but he didn’t realize that he was visibly shaking that Harry would notice.

He doesn’t have the energy to even argue on this. “Fine,” he responds, grabbing his own clothes before turning to face Harry once more. “Um. Make yourself comfortable? I guess? Just don’t sit on like, the bed or the couch because you’ll get it wet.”

“Really? I didn’t think about that,” he says sarcastically, earning a middle finger from Louis before he goes into the bathroom.

He doesn’t bother taking a long shower. He makes the water as hot as he can handle it, quickly washing his hair and body before jumping out. He’s sure Harry is just as cold as he was, and he doesn’t want him standing out there too long alone.

He changes into his clothes and before he heads back out, he hangs a towel up for Harry to use once he’s finished. When he exits the bathroom, he looks to Harry who is sitting on the ground, scrolling on his phone.

He glances up to Louis and puffs out a laugh. “Jesus. How hot of a shower did you take?” He asks, referring to all the steam that came out with Louis.

“Not hot enough to kill me, sadly,” he jokes and Harry gives him a stern look as he stands up. “Not that it matters though. I’m like Satan.”

“Don’t joke about that,” he mumbles, shoving him softly as he takes his turn going into the bathroom.

Louis sighs to himself once he’s gone, trying to figure out what he should do with himself as he waits. He sort of wants to text Zayn and tease him, but he decides that should probably be done in person. There’s nothing he loves more than humiliating his friends, especially Zayn.

He didn’t see that coming. Well, no, that’s a lie. He did, just not this fucking quick. It takes a lot for Zayn to want to get with someone like that, a possible contender that he might really like.

He’s cautious when it comes to relationships, which is exactly why he was only in one. He’s fine when it comes to hookups, but with Niall, the way he was talking, he understands that he wouldn’t mind having something more with him.

Maybe it should worry Louis a little. That he’s moving on this quick. He isn’t using Niall as a rebound, is he? Well, honestly, whoever you date after your first love is going to be considered a rebound, aren’t they?

But then again, this all could have been fate. You know? Zayn deals with a shitty relationship and then he’s basically handed Niall, someone who is fun and trustworthy. They seem like they could be a perfect match.

It might be as simple as that. He hopes it is.

He also wishes that it was as simple when it came to Harry and him.

(Everything sucks.)

Louis sits on the edge of his bed, staring at nothing until Harry comes back out of the bathroom. Once he does, he sort of freezes and eyes up Louis’ current state. “You okay? You look sort of out of it.”

Instead of answering, Louis just stares at Aiden’s hoodie on Harry and fuck. This is really fucking bad. He didn’t think it would affect him, but it is. He’s trying to blame it on the alcohol, because why is this bothering him? Why is seeing him in Aiden’s old hoodie he always used to wear making him feel like shit?

Harry notices where his eyes lay. His head drops down to look at it himself, before he frowns and walks over, sitting right down next to him. “I’m sorry. Is it weird having me wear your ex’s hoodie?”

Louis shakes his head, finally snapping out of it. He doesn’t want Harry thinking he’s weak. “Nah,” he lies, but then he looks at Harry again, taking him in before sighing and giving in. “Alright. Maybe a little. But that’s only because I fucking hate the prick, and seeing you wearing his shit—someone I adore keep in mind—is just... strange.”

“I would take it off but I’m freezing,” Harry mumbles, making Louis laugh even though he’s still uncomfortable as he thinks back to Aiden. Harry of course notices, reaching over and placing a hand on his thigh, softly rubbing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Louis sucks in a deep breath, once again preparing to let it all out to him. He’s drunk, he’ll forget about this by morning. “He was just manipulative as shit. We were constantly fighting, and I’m not sure why I stuck with him. Maybe it was because no one ever really asked me to date them, just would want to fuck me and leave, which I’m guilty for as well. But then he asked me out, and I thought, why not? He was good in bed,” he admits, and Harry’s hand squeezes his thigh. This prompts Louis to look at his face for his reaction, and of course, the boy looks startled. “Sorry. S’just true. But anyways, the cunt cheated on me and we got into one last fight at a pub before we went our separate ways. Was a terrible relationship, and I’m glad we aren’t together anymore. But like I said, just seeing you in his hoodie he wore constantly, is strange. I’m not upset because I miss him or anything. Definitely not.”

Harry nods slowly, hand going back to soothing circles. “I’m sorry he cheated on you. You don’t deserve that,” he mumbles quietly, before biting his lip anxiously. “He sounds like a piece of shit.”

“He was.”

“But it must be nice that you don’t miss him.”

Louis tilts his head, confused. He can tell Harry’s saying this for his own personal preference, he just doesn’t know exactly what though. “What do you mean?”

There’s hesitation before he answers. “I still miss my ex sometimes.”

Oh. So they’re doing this, then? Talking about exes that they both didn’t even know existed until now?

“Yeah?” Louis asks gently, watching Harry start frowning. Did he also have a shitty ex? He wonders what happened between them, because he can see right now that he is still obviously affected by it.

Harry nods, pulling his hand away to fiddle with his rings. “Yeah. But I... um. I don’t want to talk about it, if that’s okay? I sort of want to sleep.”

He hates seeing him upset, so he quickly nods. “Of course, Harry. We can have a nice cuddle in my bed? Don’t know the last time I’ve done that. Zayn hates cuddling a lot of the time, but I’m rather soft for it. So.”

Harry smiles at that, already forgetting about the ex talk. “Really? You? Louis Tomlinson likes cuddling? This is the first time I’m hearing about this because...?”

“Shut up.”

“No, I won’t shut up. Seriously, I’m astounded. Is that your soft spot? Hm? Cuddling?” He asks as he pokes at his hip.

He crawls up on his bed, getting under the covers and ignoring Harry. “I’m closing my eyes.”

“Wait for me,” Harry insists, copying him and settling right next to him. He immediately wraps his arm around Louis, pulling their bodies close together. “This good?” He murmurs into the back of Louis’ neck, sending chills down his body.

“Perfect.”

He can feel Harry smiling on his skin. “Goodnight, Louis. I reckon you’re becoming my favorite person in the entire world.”

Louis laughs, taken by surprise with the random comment. “You reckon?”

“Yeah. I reckon.”

Louis falls asleep with a smile on his face for the first time in months.

....

Louis’ head shoots up when he hears someone making noise. He finds Harry who is shyly putting on his shoes, frowning once he sees Louis looking at him. “Shoot. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He didn’t think of Harry as the type to wander off while he’s sleeping. He could have sworn he was going to wake up to him making him breakfast or some shit.

But again, it’s not like they hooked up or something. They did nothing like that from what he can remember, so it’s not a big deal he was trying to sneak out. He might have work, too, so.

No need to overthink this so early.

“You really thought I wouldn’t hear your lanky arse stumbling through my bedroom?”

Harry laughs although it doesn’t meet his eyes. “I’m really sorry,” he bites his bottom lip as he straightens out. “You should go back to sleep, we were up late last night.”

Louis hums, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Almost eight,” he responds quietly, stuffing his hands into the pocket of the hoodie. “I can wash these clothes and return them to you later.”

Louis shakes his head. “No thanks. I don’t need you to return my ex’s hoodie to me.”

Harry flushes. “Right. Okay, well. Bye, Louis.”

No see you later like he normally would say.

Again, fuck Louis, there’s no need to overthink this shit. Absolutely none.

Nothing even happened last night that would make Harry want to stop seeing him. He can’t think of one moment where Harry was upset. So why is he being weird this morning? He is being weird, right? Or is he actually just overthinking this?

Whatever.

It’s early and he’s struggling with a hangover. Both of them are.

He settles with saying the unsaid from Harry. “See you.”

And just like that he’s out the door without another word.

Louis tries to go back to sleep, but he’s quickly interrupted because his door is being reopened and he already knows who it is before he sees him. He groans into his pillow as the douchebag himself sits on the bed with him, almost crushing his feet.

“I’m in love, Lou.”

He groans louder and more dramatically this time. “I don’t remember asking.”

“I always thought Liam was great at sex, but then I got together with—”

“Finish that sentence and I will literally fucking kill you with my bare hands.”

He hears Zayn scoff and this prompts him to lift his head to glance at his best friend. Sure, he’s happy for him, but he doesn’t want to hear about it right this second.

“Alright. Do you want to tell me what you and Harry got up to, then? Was it similar to what Niall and I did?”

Louis flushes at that, shaking his head. He never discussed anything as such with Zayn that would indicate he wants to get with Harry. Not one.

Can Zayn tell? He must be able to tell if he’s asking this.

Regardless, he’s not going to admit any feelings he has toward Harry to anyone anytime soon.

“We’re just mates, Zee. We went to the pub to get a drink and then we had to crash here together, because his flat was sort of occupied,” he accuses, narrowing his eyes.

Zayn doesn’t seem to buy it. “But then you guys slept in the same bed?”

“How did you even fucking know that?” He rushes, and this gets Zayn to smile.

“I didn’t. Just assumed, and you confirmed it, so thank you.”

Louis rolls his eyes and pushes himself up to rest against the headboard. His best friend is a fucking annoying cunt.

“You and I sleep together. Why are you bothering me about this like it’s anything different?”

Zayn shrugs and looks a bit sympathetic. “Do you like him, Lou? It’s okay if you do,” he says softly, and fuck. He had no idea that Zayn had picked up on it. “I realize it seemed like I wasn’t paying attention to you last night, but I did. I see how you look at him.”

Louis feels sick to his stomach. Does Harry know? Is that why he rushed out this morning? Because he is too nice to reject Louis to his face? He’s probably going to push Louis away now because he can tell that he likes him and doesn’t feel the same way.

Fuck. That’s not happening. He’s overthinking again.

Right?

He doesn’t want to admit this to Zayn because that’d make the situation even more real. “No. I don’t. Now fucking drop it.”

Zayn frowns at this but nods, and Louis understands that by snapping like that, he gave Zayn the answer he was sort of expecting.

Fucking fantastic.


	7. seven

“I already miss Niall.”

Louis groans, throwing his head on the bar counter Zayn and him are both sitting at, enjoying a beer.

When he doesn’t answer, Zayn continues absentmindedly. “I can’t believe I met the real love of my life and he lives three whole hours away from me. Two hours if I were to take the train, which isn’t horrible, I suppose, but it’s not good either. I want to be with him all the time, ya know, Lou? And I can’t do that if he lives in London and I live in Cardiff. I wish I could move there but I can’t afford it. I think I’m going to have to convince Niall to move here, which I bet he would do, considering I’m here and Harry—”

“Zayn, for the love of everything that is bloody good in this world, shut the fuck up.”

“Why? What the hell did I do?”

He can’t take it. He needs to get all this angry off his chest before he dies. “Be fucking annoying. I get it, you found the new love of your life, that’s cool and all, but Jesus fuck. Enough already.”

Zayn scoffs. “You’re a horrible human being.”

“Thank you, I’m aware.”

It’s quiet for a beat before he pushes further. “You’re mad because I’m happy?”

“No, I’m mad because you won’t shut up about being happy. Not all of us are living on the fucking moon right now,” he snaps, crossing his arms like a stubborn child.

If it’s not obvious enough, Louis hasn’t been doing well. Ever since this morning he’s been overthinking this entire thing with Harry and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do about it.

Seriously. He’s never been in a situation where he’s liked his best mate that way, where they don’t feel the same. Like is he supposed to ignore it? Is he supposed to stop hanging out with him all together? He has no fucking clue.

And it doesn’t help having Zayn in his ear chewing it off about Niall.

(He’s happy for him. Genuinely. Of course he is. It’s just bad timing is all.)

“I’m telling you,” he starts, voice dropping. “You need to get laid and then you will feel better.”

He opens his mouth to argue with him, but closes it as he decides against it. Because you know what? Maybe Zayn is right. Maybe he does need to have a good fuck to get Harry out of his mind.

Years ago, all he wanted to do was have pointless hookups. It’s a lot easier that way, isn’t it? You both get something you want with no feelings attached. There’s no way of getting hurt.

He got bored with that though, especially after he had his fun after Aiden. Sure, he’s slept with his fair share of girls and guys, all being good fucks for when he needed it, but something in him snapped one day. He didn’t want to do that anymore.

He wasn’t up for anything, those couple months before he met Harry. He was feeling so shitty about himself, that he didn’t even think he deserved to have sex anymore.

Jesus. He’s really pathetic, isn’t he? He sounds like the biggest loser to roam the planet.

He chugs down the rest of his beer, causing Zayn to press on. “Don’t tell me you’re going into a Harry funk.”

Louis chokes. “What?”

“Like... how you get into those depressed funks. Are you now going to have Harry ones? Where you get depressed about Harry specifically? And not just your life?”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m just asking.”

He rolls his eyes, not even bothering to argue with him any further. Lucky for him, he’s saved when Paul approaches them, but the weird part of that is when he hands Louis another drink before he even asked for one.

Nick isn’t working tonight which means Paul is. And Paul is someone that openly hates Louis. Not in a jokingly way either. The man genuinely hates Louis and truth be told, Louis respects him for it.

“This is for you,” he explains, Louis taking it unbothered.

“Aw. You giving me free drinks, sweetheart?”

Paul glares at him. “That moron bought it for you,” he responds, nodding his head down the counter.

When Louis looks up, he sees a blonde boy sitting a few stools down. He smiles at Louis a little too happily, and fuck. Talk about perfect timing.

“That’s my indication to leave,” Zayn says, quickly standing up. Louis goes to stop him, but he refuses. “Nope. I’m doing you a favor. You’ll thank me later. Have fun tonight, Lou. Use protection.”

“Zayn,” he says through gritted teeth, failing to get him to stay. He gives Louis one last smirk before heading out the door.

He slowly turns back to the blonde boy that is now standing up to take Zayn’s spot. Great. Just fucking perfect.

“What a fancy drink you got there.”

Well. Here goes nothing, he supposes. He hasn’t done this shit in a long time. “Very unoriginal way of flirting with me, mate,” Louis jokes and it gets the boy to blurt out laughing.

“I hate being predictable,” he mutters, scooting in closer. “But it must be a good sign that you’re drinking it.”

“Who am I to turn down free tequila?”

The boy smiles and sticks out a hand. “Well, I’m Collin. And you’re welcome for the drink.”

“Louis. And I didn’t thank you.”

“Not yet at least?”

This gets Louis to laugh. “Jesus, right to the point, huh? What kind of boy do you think I am?”

“You must have misheard me. My name is Collin. Not Jesus.”

Louis rolls his eyes, and turns back to face the bar. “Bad joke. Not looking good for you.”

Collin takes a deep breath. “Damn it. What can I do to redeem myself?”

He looks back to him and honestly, the boy is Louis’ type. The more he stares the more he thinks about this being a good idea to get his mind off of Harry.

It’s been months since he got laid. And he’s finally getting hit on by someone he wouldn’t mind fucking, the opportunity is being put right in front of his nose.

Fuck it. Fuck everything. This is what he wanted, isn’t it? He should be glad this boy is flirting with him.

So Louis smirks. “Maybe you’ll make up for it if you’re better in bed.”

Collin laughs, throwing his head back. “Now what kind of boy do you think _I_ am?”

“One that buys another boy tequila and flirts terribly.”

They both laugh and for just a moment, Louis believes maybe he can get past this thing with Harry.

There’s plenty of other people out there. He can find one that isn’t his best mate, for Christ’s sake.

He can do it. Yup. No fucking problem.

....

The next morning, Louis wakes up with Collin sleeping next to him. He stares at the boy for a while and thinks back to the events that took place last night.

Scary thing is, he kind of liked the time he spent with Collin. Enough to the point he wouldn’t mind talking to him again. It’s unlike Louis, but it’s obvious that they sort of clicked.

(Not to mention he was significant in bed.)

So instead of waking him up and kicking him out like he normally would, he stands up and lets the boy continue sleeping, heading into his kitchen to make tea.

He’s got his hands propped up against the counter as he waits for the tea to be ready. He barely has any alone time because soon enough, he hears feet coming up from behind him, a voice following.

“I could get used to this.”

Louis spins around to see a sleepy, and now fully dressed Collin smiling, taking his seat on a stool. “What? Me making us tea in the morning?”

“I mean, that and getting this lovely view of your arse bright and early.”

This actually makes Louis cackle, shaking his head as he takes the tea and pours it in. “Important question that could make or break us. How do you take your tea?”

“Splash of milk. No sugar.”

Louis raises his eyebrows, unable to stop the smile developing across his face. “Either you have great taste or you stalked me beforehand.”

Collin laughs loudly, throwing his head back making Louis feel a little warm inside.

(Yeah, it’s not the same warmness he feels when Harry laughs, but it’ll do.)

“I’m just glad that sober you is just as funny.”

“Duh. I’m a part time comedian, don’t you know? You should be aware of this since you stalked me and all,” he teases as he hands him his tea once he’s finished.

“Ha ha,” he drawls, bringing the mug to his mouth. He takes a long sip, Louis accidentally watching him before he gets his own drink ready. “So are we going to do the thing?”

“What thing?”

“Where we get to know each other better now?”

Louis bites his lip, staring at the liquid in his mug because all of a sudden he feels too intimidated to look at Collin.

This is an entirely different territory for him. He hasn’t had a boy he slept with sit across from him while they drank tea in such a long time. The only other time he’s done that was with Aiden.

It almost didn’t happen with him, though. They went to Aiden’s flat and Louis would’ve snuck out, but he was just so exhausted from school that he ended up sleeping late. He woke up to Aiden doing a crossword puzzle on the bed, and the second Louis stirred, he asked him if he wanted to go out for breakfast since he didn’t cook.

Let’s just say Louis was starving.

So yeah. It’s new for Louis to be the one offering his hookup tea in the morning, not making up an excuse to get him to leave without his phone number or giving him a fake one.

He nervously glances back up at Collin through hooded eyelids. “You go first,” he finds himself saying.

This gets Collin to smile immediately. He crosses his hands across the table. “Okay. I’m 25, currently in school for law.”

Louis whistles. “Sexy and intelligent,” he mocks. “Always two good qualities.”

Collin easily rolls his eyes. “I don’t always go to pubs and buy boys drinks. That I want to clear up. Only the ones that I find extremely attractive.”

“Ah. I’m extremely attractive? Love hearing that. Keep going.”

“I work in a bookstore. I spend a lot of my time studying during my shifts, getting yelled at by old ladies who say I should be doing my job by helping them find their books or print papers instead of sitting on my arse the entire time.”

“Reasonable.”

“But yeah. I think that’s enough basics for now,” Collin says, picking his tea back up. “Your turn. I’m excited for this.”

Louis chuckles, leaning on the counter. “Unlike you, I’m a school dropout. I work at the pub where we met, hilariously enough. I go there a lot and never buy boys drinks. I wait for them to buy them for me, which thank you, by the way. And yeah. Surprisingly, I don’t have any exciting stories to say about myself.”

After this all leaves his mouth, he confirms that he is in the worst funk of his entire life.

Holy shit. Was Zayn... right? Is this a Harry funk? He has never fucking said that stuff about himself to a stranger so willingly. Even talking with Harry, he felt embarrassed to admit he dropped out of school.

But right now he just blurted it out without even thinking twice about it.

Something is seriously wrong here.

Collin though, he just nods and shrugs. “I’m sure there are plenty of exciting stories about you.”

He nervously smiles, scratching the back of his head. “Uh. Yeah. There is. Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to hear them.”

Collin pouts in response. “Aw. Why not now?”

Before he can answer that, there’s a knock on his door and he frowns knowing exactly who it is. He doesn’t want to not answer him completely, so he’s going to have to kindly send him off and tell him that he’s currently busy.

(Talk about horrible fucking timing.)

Louis turns to Collin with a smile. “Sorry. Give me one second to get this.”

He hurries over and when he opens the door for Harry, he barely has the chance to send him away because he’s barging in. “I brought over all the ingredients for banana bread and I thought we could make it together as a thank you for letting me crash here the other night while my flat was being occupied by our best mates. I mean, I’ll do most of the work so it’s fair and that way—”

His eyes finally fall to Collin who is sitting there sipping at his tea. He abruptly stops talking, arms dropping and there’s something unreadable spreading on his face, and Louis takes this as the chance to awkwardly introduce them as silence fills the room.

“Er, this is Collin. We were just having a cup of tea. And Collin, this is Harry, my neighbor.”

Harry’s eyebrows push together as he stares Collin up and down, lips partially gaped open. It’s like he’s trying to make sense of this situation in his own head, and he cannot tell for the life of him what he’s even thinking. Is he judging Louis? Because it sure as hell seems like he might be. At least, his choice in men, that is.

“Cheers, pal. I could go for some banana bread,” Collin obviously jokes, but Harry takes it seriously.

“I didn’t ask you,” he snaps childishly, taking one step to the side so he’s closer to Louis all while he doesn’t take his eyes off of Collin.

And this is... strange. This isn’t like Harry to be openly rude to someone. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen him be rude to... well, anyone. He’s never openly indifferent toward people.

Collin flushes, standing up slowly because it’s obvious he’s getting uncomfortable from Harry’s current contemplating gaze on him. “Okay. I’ll just be on my way out, then,” he mumbles, standing up and grabbing his jacket from the stool. He walks closer to Louis, offering a shy smile. “I left my number on your nightstand. Do whatever you want with it.”

Louis laughs, getting a bit distracted when he can see in the corner of his eye Harry snapping his head toward him. “Even if it’s tearing it to shreds and tossing it straight into the garbage?”

“Yeah. Even that. But I have a feeling you’re not going to,” he teases with a smirk.

He shrugs before crossing his arms. He slowly considers his next words, thinking back to the night they spent together, and maybe seeing him another time wouldn’t be a bad idea. He was a nice guy, and he did enjoy talking with him until Harry interrupted.

“I don’t think I will either,” he settles by saying, and it gets Collin to happily grin at him.

He nods, staring at Louis a little longer before Harry clears his throat loudly. This makes him snap out of it, giving Harry a quick scowl before smiling back at Louis once more before he leaves. “I’ll be looking forward to that.”

“Alright, alright,” Louis mutters, feeling weird that they’re discussing this with Harry staring the way he is. “I’ll let you leave with anticipation.”

“I love unpredictability.”

Louis laughs and Collin finally leaves without them saying another word. He shuts the door behind him once he’s gone, and he turns back to a frowning Harry. “What the hell is your problem?” He asks, suddenly pissed off that he feels like he has the right to judge Louis for this.

At this, his face falters like he didn’t even realize he was being obvious. “W-What? I don’t have a problem.”

“You sure as hell seem like you do with the way you’re looking at me right now and how you spoke to Collin.”

“I-I’m not? That’s just... that’s my face?” Harry starts stuttering over his words, face paling this time instead of getting red. “I obviously am fine. Really. Why would I have a problem? I... can we make banana bread or not?”

Louis eyes him up suspiciously before scoffing. “Fine,” he spits, trying his best to not completely lose it. “Where do we start?”

Harry doesn’t bother answering that. “You’re mad at me,” he acknowledges, and Jesus Christ. “What did I do wrong? Was it seriously the way I was looking at you? I didn’t mean... I’m sorry? I didn’t realize I was... _how_ was I looking at you, exactly?”

He’s overreacting, isn’t he? He tends to do this a lot (because he’s dramatic) and now he feels guilty because Harry genuinely didn’t do anything wrong. He was just afraid he was judging him for sleeping with Collin, but Harry doesn’t judge ever.

It doesn’t explain why Harry was acting so indifferent, but maybe he was just caught off guard that Louis wasn’t alone. He shouldn’t have snapped at him.

Louis sighs, running a hand over his face. “I’m not mad. I just barely got any sleep and I’m hungover and...” He pulls his hands away to look at Harry who is still frowning. “I could really go for some banana bread.”

“Okay,” Harry replies softly, now appearing small. Great. This is all Louis’ fault. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Louis rushes, shaking his head. “Let’s just get started, yeah?”

Harry frowns but agrees anyway. “Alright. Um. Well? M-Mixing it together doesn’t take long. It’s just the waiting that takes long... obviously. So. Yeah?” He watches Harry as he starts panicking and shit. He hasn’t seen this version in a while. “I could just make it, actually. This was a bad idea, wasn’t it? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just came in like—”

Knowing he has to fix this, he reaches over and grabs the bag from Harry. “What are you talking about? How in the world is banana bread a bad idea?”

“My timing was bad,” he mumbles, pushing his hair off his forehead. “Are you sure that it’s okay—”

Louis doesn’t bother letting him finish as he starts putting out all the ingredients on his counter. “C’mon, Buffy.”

So they make the banana bread in silence. Harry is tense the entire time, even when Louis tries joking around with him at one point. He just gulps and forces a smile on his face, resulting in Louis sighing and giving up.

It’s not until they are both sitting down, waiting as the bread bakes when Harry seems to finally ease up. “So um. Zayn and Niall?”

“Please. I don’t want to hear their names ever again,” he groans and Harry smiles.

(Yes! At last! A dimple!)

“I blocked Niall’s number. He’s been using Instagram to message me.”

Louis laughs, throwing his face into his arms resting against the counter. “It was actual torture hanging out with Zayn.”

Harry giggles as Louis picks his head back up. Harry is already staring at him when they make eye contact. “I suppose there are worst things going on in the world.”

“Eh. This is a close one.”

“But definitely not the worst.”

“True. Worst thing is probably the fact that bats exist.”

Harry rolls his eyes and kicks his shin. All Louis can think about is he’s glad whatever tension was just between them is over. “Can you let it go already?”

“You should know better than to ask that question.”

Harry watches him a little longer, Louis becoming uncomfortable under his intense gaze. You think by now he’d be used to Harry’s eyes, but he never is. He doesn’t think he ever will be.

Out of fucking nowhere, he can see Harry becoming anxious. He’s still staring at Louis like he’s trying to make up his mind about something, and right before he can even ask what is going on, he blurts the words out.

“Can you show me some of your graphic design work?” He asks it so frantically, that it startles Louis.

He just laughs to ease this uncomfortableness. “Uh... what?”

Harry’s shoulders drop at that. “We’re close, aren’t we? Why haven’t you shown me them yet? You told me you would.”

Where the fuck is this coming from? Louis blinks at him because he doesn’t know how else to react. That was the last thing he would’ve expected to come out of his mouth, especially since it was nothing near what they were just talking about.

“Sorry?” He chokes, still not understanding what is happening.

Now Harry just looks like a bratty child, pout forming on his lips, eyebrows furrowing. “I want to see them. That’s all. I just thought about it and... I don’t know. I wish you wanted to show me.”

Something about the way he says this hits Louis. He tries scooting closer to Harry who is suddenly insecure. “I do want to show you,” he reassures quietly. “It’s not _you_ that I don’t want to show. It’s me being embarrassed about my work.”

Harry shyly glances back up at him. “You shouldn’t feel embarrassed with me. I hate that you feel like that, especially when it’s not the same on my end.”

Not the same on his end? What does that mean?

Louis opens his mouth but Harry is quick to interrupt. “Sorry. I’m being stupid. When you’re ready to show me, that’ll be... cool. I’m not going to pressure you or anything. I was just wondering.”

He still doesn’t get what’s going on, but he doesn’t question it. They fall back into silence and Louis does his best to not question him about that entire outburst.

It goes like that for the next hour or so. Eventually they start talking like they normally do again, before taking out the bread once it’s ready and eating it warm.

Everything was going smoothly until Harry decided to ask him about the elephant in the room which is when things start going downhill, basically like it did when he asked about his graphic designs.

“Are you going to text that guy?”

Louis halts for just a moment at the unexpected question before he shrugs. He considers his next words carefully. “Maybe. He was rather nice, surprisingly. Respectful, funny and all that, so. Qualities that might deserve a text, don’t you think?”

Harry’s jaw clenches and he nods. “Sure,” he responds, voice hard. “You should, then. If he’s nice, respectful and all that.”

There he goes again. Louis fucking knew it. Harry is rather good at hiding his feelings, isn’t he?

Their peaceful time is now ruined. All Louis can think about is he’s back to being annoyed with Harry, just like Harry is annoyed with him. For fucking what? Harry has absolutely no right to be behaving this way.

He never took Harry as the judgemental type. Not once has he ever judged Louis before, so why is he now? Why is he making Louis feel like shit about who he slept with last night?

Because he’s pissed, he decides to push further. “You forgot funny.”

At that, Harry narrows his eyes and that’s all Louis needs for his confirmation that yes, Harry was judging him after all. “I’m going to go,” he blurts, shaking his head and standing up. Well damn. Louis didn’t see that coming. “You obviously have other plans in mind. See you. Or not,” he mumbles, cheeks reddening.

Louis wants to snap at him and ask him what his problem is, but instead, he’s too pissed to even give him that satisfaction. He can yell another day.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Harry freezes and for the first time ever, Louis sees him become angry. And unhinged. Well, unhinged for Harry, at least. He glares at Louis like he never did before. It wasn’t that bad what he just said, was it? Why does he seem so mad?

Suddenly Harry lunges himself at the banana bread, gathering it in his hand. “I’m taking this with me,” he snaps, angrily spinning around toward the door.

And just like that he’s gone, leaving Louis to realize that they just had their first... argument? Is this even considered one?

He curses to himself, taking out his phone and sending a text to Zayn.

**Louis 2:53 P.M.**  
_You’re right. I think I’m in a Harry funk. Whatever the fuck that means_

**Zayn 2:54 P.M.**  
_that sucks, man._  
**Zayn 2:54 P.M.**  
_wanna smoke?_

**Louis 2:55 P.M.**  
_Yes please._

**Zayn 2:56 P.M.**  
_i’ll be there in twenty, my king_

Louis rolls his eyes like he normally does whenever he texts Zayn.

He knows that when he gets here he won’t push Louis to talk about what’s going on. They’ll just smoke together in silence, and honestly, that’s all Louis needs right now.

He also needs to forget about Harry, but that’s not happening.

So. Yay.

....

Louis has been having trouble sleeping lately, and to his luck, when he’s finally about to drift into sleep, there’s a harsh knock on his front door.

He curses loudly, trying to convince himself he is asleep and he’s dreaming this. But sadly he’s not because the knocking continues, and he throws himself out of bed and storms over.

Zayn just left about an hour ago. They spent the entire day smoking, talking, and eating. He didn’t bring up Harry once like he expected him to, and he didn’t realize how much he needed that.

It was nice just being with him that entire time.

He was excited to go to sleep, until his body wouldn’t let him. He’s been tossing and turning the past 30 minutes, and like he mentioned, he was finally about to drift off until this fucking banging started happening.

He approaches his door angrily, not even knowing exactly who to expect yet. He isn’t thinking anything besides fuck you fuck you fuck you.

“I lied,” Harry blurts the second Louis swings open the door, pupils blown and his expression wild.

Louis is stunned for only a second until he almost laughs at how insane he looks right now, but truth be told, he’s more confused than anything. Where is this coming from?

He rubs his eyes sleepily, angry dissolving into thin air. “Sorry?” He questions, having absolutely no clue what he lied about.

Harry wobbles a little on his feet, gathering himself. “I don’t think you should text Collin. Or talk to him at all, really,” he admits, shaking his head and allowing his curls to fall out of place more than they already were.

Now, Louis starts to smell the liquor and notice just how drunk he is. Stupidly and already knowing the answer, he asks, “are you drunk?”

“Yes. I need to be in order to tell you this.”

And huh? Seriously, what is happening here? He’s never seen Harry look this fucking crazy.

“Okay... tell me what?”

“I never really liked Noah,” he begins, and what? Why the hell is he bringing him up _now_? This couldn't have waited? “I only went on that date with him because you told me to and I thought, I don’t know, maybe I could end up liking him. I tried to convince myself I did, but I didn’t, and you know why?”

How is this relevant? “Well, no—”

“Because I like you. That’s why I ended it with him so soon. Literally, while we were on the fucking date, all I could think about was he wasn’t you and that bothered me. I only went out with him because I tried to tell myself if I got with someone else, maybe I would forget about this stupid fucking crush I have on you. It’s just... I was scared because... like even now, I could be risking the friendship we just beautifully built, but after today, I don’t care,” Harry says all in one take, nervously pinching fiddling with his rings as he keeps eye contact the entire time. “Sometimes I think you might like me too, but then you went and encouraged me to go on that date, and then you got together with Collin, and I-I’m not going to do what you did. I’m not going to tell you to go out with him. I can’t explain it, but I need to get this off my chest before you might actually get serious with him, and I’d be sitting there mad at myself for blowing it with you. Niall knocked some sense into me this morning after I ran away from you because I freaked myself out again since my feelings for you fucking expand every passing minute we spend together and I was literally pissed at you for being with Collin, which you were right about honestly, and for that I’m sor—”

“Harry, take a breath, would you?” He laughs, shocked that he’s hearing this, and not understanding why he feels the need to explain all of this. He could have stopped with saying that he likes him. He can’t believe he’s still going. “Slow down. I’ve never heard you talk this much.”

He flushes. “Sorry,” he finishes, biting down a frown.

Louis is still in a daze as he stares at Harry. So it was jealousy this morning. Not necessarily judgement.

It makes him a bit cocky, but seeing how stressed out he is right now, he doesn’t want to tease him. He can tell it was hard for him to come here.

Also, holy fucking shit. Harry likes him just as much as he likes him. What a crazy world this is.

He leans against the doorway, crossing his arms. “It’s funny, because I like you too and I thought I couldn’t be more obvious about it. You were the one I thought that didn’t like me back.”

Harry widens his eyes in surprise. “Are you crazy? Do you really not see how head over heels I am for you? I made you banana bread not once, but _twice_.” Louis laughs and Harry takes that as the motivation to step forward with his eyes clouded. “Um. So like. Can I maybe... um. C-Can I kiss you now?”

Louis responds by reaching up to connect their lips before he can even think twice about it. Which... Christ. Kissing Harry is something he never felt before with anyone.

It’s sloppy and wet, but he doesn’t think he could ask for a better first kiss with him. They both are gentle, but obviously have been craving this for too long, the way their mouths mush together.

They are breathing heavily and Louis decides to pull away, because Harry is drunk and everything just happened so fast that he doesn’t want to scare him. A short kiss will do for now.

Harry’s breath hitches as they separate, red lips parted as he stares at Louis like he can’t believe what is going on.

“Come on. Let’s get you some water and then sleep,” he suggests, reaching over to grab his hand.

Harry smiles, leaning down and pecking his lips again. “Best night ever,” he puffs against his mouth, making Louis smile back because yeah.

Best night ever, indeed.


	8. eight

Louis wakes up to the sound of a body slamming onto the floor. It nearly startles him to death and when he opens his eyes to see what happens, he watches as a shirtless Harry picks himself up. His hair is sticking in every direction, cheeks flushed and he slams a hand on his crotch to feel himself.

Louis, who is working off his morning wood, stares at the show with wild, swollen eyes. Holy fucking shit, he might come untouched. And he’s never done that.

“We didn’t have sex,” Harry sighs out a relief, removing his hand. He then stares at Louis with a gaped mouth, looking breathless. “Um. What did we like... um. What _did_ happen? Why did I wake up with my arm around you? Did I... say anything?”

He should be offended Harry was so relieved to be aware they didn’t have sex, but after his confession last night, he knows it’s probably only because he wouldn’t have wanted to fuck Louis while drunk. So he simply laughs, sitting up straight.

“You dropped down on your knees for me,” he starts, and when he watches Harry become completely pale in the face, almost falling backwards, he continues in a rush. “And proposed. I said yes. We’re getting married, babe.”

Stupid joke. It certainly doesn’t make Harry laugh, who throws his arms around his stomach and looks as sick as ever. He almost seems as if he’s going to puke and...

Okay. Yup. Harry quickly runs to the bathroom and the next sounds Louis hears are him letting everything out in his toilet. Perfect.

He sighs, untangling himself from his duvet and heading into the bathroom. He sits on the floor next to a hurling Harry, rubbing his back soothing and then trying to get his curls off his forehead. “There, there. I was only joking, you know,” he says quietly, Harry stopping for a moment so he tags on. “But you did confess a few things to me.”

Before Harry finishes picking his head out of the toilet to fully look at Louis, he is right back in there and throwing up some more once he admits this.

Louis continues comforting him, and by the time Harry is finally done, he flushes the toilet and rests his cheek against the lid with absolutely no shame. He stares up at Louis with teary eyes, lips raw and red as he pants. “I’m assuming it didn’t go bad, right? If you let me sleep in your bed with you?” His eyes widen as more thoughts come into his head. “Unless it did go bad and you just felt bad for me. You’re nice like that.”

Louis laughs and this prompts Harry to pick his head up from the toilet, leaning back against his shower door. Louis scoots back himself, sitting criss crossed and staring back at him. They really are about to have this conversation on the bathroom floor after Harry just vomited. It’s fine.

“No. You just rambled, per usual, nothing too bad though. But it did end with you telling me that you liked me and all that.”

Harry gulps, shyly gazing at him from behind his long eyelashes. “And you said?”

Louis smiles genuinely, amused by how shy he is again. “I said I liked you back,” he decides to respond, no joking around this time. “And we kissed.”

This immediately gets Harry to pout, pushing his eyebrows together. “God damn it. I don’t remember that,” he snaps childishly.

It only gets Louis to beam. “Well we’re going to be able to kiss a lot more now, babes.”

Harry’s eyes fall out of his head but he quickly recollects them, and simply sighs. “But I wanted to remember my first kiss with you,” he mumbles weakly, and it’s enough for Louis to start crawling toward him with puckered lips. Harry pushes him away. “Are you insane? I just puked and my breath is absolutely horrendous—”

Louis cuts him off by kissing him anyways. That doesn’t bother him, not in the slightest. Harry only tries to fight him off for a second longer before he’s giving in, reaching up to cup Louis’ face with his large hand. He softly thumbs at his cheek, both of them pecking their lips and sharing nothing but a slow, simple kiss.

It’s so fucking different for Louis. But he adores it. He loves kissing Harry so... _delicately_. Like they want nothing more than to give each other something gentle. That’s how Louis feels, at least.

When they pull apart, Harry is clearly daydreaming and lets his head slowly fall back, eyes locked on Louis before smacking against the shower door. He then groans and squeezes his eyes shut. “Ouch,” he hisses, reopening them just as fast. “I really wish I was feeling good enough to enjoy this. I’ve been wanting to kiss you since we met.”

“You have?” He asks, surprised by him admitting this.

Harry nods. “Yeah. Kind of embarrassing saying that to you, but it’s true. The first time I saw you... I was sort of like, oh shit.”

Louis cackles at this, endeared by how sweet he is. He then reaches up to gently pat his cheek. “Let’s sober you up.”

“Yes please,” Harry mutters, allowing Louis to help him up. They both get dressed, Harry in his clothes from last night and Louis into new ones.

“Now as you’re aware, I’m not much of a cook, but I’m actually capable of making us some oatmeal right now. How does that sound?” He asks as they make their way into the kitchen, Louis opening his cabinet.

Harry sits on the stool across from him, much like Collin did the other morning. But this? This is way fucking better. He’d take this as opposed to anything and anyone.

“Sure,” he murmurs, a smile spreading across his face for no reason. “Is this going to happen a lot now? Early mornings with you?”

Christ’s sake. “I’m normally not this chipper in the morning, but your little entertainment that woke me up sort of put me in a good mood.”

Harry flushes at this and Louis can’t help but laugh as he begins making their brekkie. “Well, can you blame me? I don’t remember coming here and I wake up in only my briefs, my arm cradling you unconsciously. The first thought I had was that we had sex, and I just... I wouldn’t want that. Drunk! I mean I wouldn’t want to have sex with you when I was like, drunk. You know? I’m already pissed that I don’t remember kissing you for the—”

Just like last night, he decides to interrupt him before he puts himself in cardiac arrest. “Harry.”

“Yes?”

“You realize I’m not stupid, right? You don’t need to panic every time you say something you think I might take out of context. Most likely, I completely understand what you’re talking about,” he reassures him, biting down an amused grin.

“But I like to clarify. I don’t want you to ever take something the wrong way,” he admits slowly. Louis turns around as the water is boiling to face him. “I really like you.”

Louis smiles even more, shrugging. “I like me, too.”

Harry narrows his eyes at him, trying to not smile as well, but of course, failing. “I can’t believe out of all the people in this world I like your insufferable arse.”

He places a hand on his hip, poking it out in the process. “I don’t blame you. It’s a good arse.”

“Oh my God,” Harry finally breaks, laughing. “Please, just shut up, and make us our oatmeal.”

Like he told him, he turns back around to do just that. “You only want me to make it so you get a better view of my arse.”

“Guilty as charged.”

They both laugh as Louis finishes up their food, before bringing it over to sit with him. It doesn’t take long for Harry to open up his mouth (full of oatmeal which shouldn’t be as endearing as it is) to ask him the anticipating question.

“So what does this mean now? We both like each other... but are we jumping into a relationship or should we take it slow?”

Louis shrugs. He didn’t have much time to think about this to himself, obviously, but he doesn’t think becoming boyfriends this very second is a good idea. “Maybe we can go on a date before we confirm anything.”

Harry beams, agreeing. “Perfect. My time to shine.”

Not understanding, he gives him a questioning gaze. “Um. What?”

“I am like an expert date planner. Your mind is about to be blown, Louis Tomlinson.”

“Okay, weirdo.”

Harry bursts into laughter. “Best morning ever,” he grumbles, much like he did last night and it causes a warm feeling to bubble in Louis’ stomach.

Again. He couldn’t agree with that more.

....

They’ve decided not to tell Zayn and Niall about Harry’s little drunken confession that took place last Saturday night. (Or early Sunday. Whatever day that was.) They’re going to wait until they’re official to let them know the news.

It’s harder than Louis thought because now he knows that Harry wants to kiss him, and Louis wants to kiss him (always) but they just... don’t.

Louis tried to give him a goodbye kiss that morning after it all happened, but Harry fucking denied him.

“No, no, no,” he said, shaking his head and putting his hand on Louis’ chest. “As much as I would like that, no kissing until we’re dating.”

Louis almost literally growled at him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Am not. I want the luxury of kissing you as my boyfriend, not as friends.”

“We already kissed twice, you fucking menance. What is wrong with you?”

Harry laughed, eyes twinkling like he hadn’t seen them ever before. “That was before our little agreement. Let’s do this right, okay Lou? I really want to do this perfectly with you. So yes, that includes no more kissing until our first date.”

He crossed his arms and pulled away from Harry. “Can’t we consider this a first date?”

“What? You watching me puke in your bathroom and making me oatmeal?”

“Sure. I was still charmed, you know.”

Harry rolled his eyes and opened the door to leave. “Bye, soon to be boyfriend. I’ll text you.”

Louis just scoffed and slammed the door shut without another word.

They spent a couple days together after that, but not as much as they normally would because Harry had an exam he needed to study for and apparently he couldn't have Louis getting in the way by being a distraction. The main thing they did was text each other.

Now, it’s Friday and Zayn texted Louis to let him know that Niall is coming in so they can go to one of the parties that Louis hasn’t been to since his last one with him and Liam.

He asked Harry if he wanted to go, who shrugged and said he only went to a party here once with people from his classes and that it was the worst night of his life. He went out to a pub with them beforehand, getting drunk before he even arrived. He was just trying to have fun with people he just met so he could maybe make at least one new friend, but ended up failing.

He continued to explain that it ended up with him puking in a bush as they all ditched him before he called Niall and cried.

This is where they discovered their last party was the same one.

“You were there? Seriously?” Harry panicked, wide eyes. “I don’t know if that counts, though. I was there for only like, 30 minutes. Then I came home, tried to sleep and couldn’t, so I went to go for a walk before I bumped into some insufferable, drunk prat that made me spill my smoothie.”

“I’ll kick his arse. What a dick.”

“I know, right? Worst thing too, is that the guy is my _neighbor_. I see him all the time.”

“Well. Is he attractive at least?”

“I mean... he has a nice bum.”

They laughed before deciding that they’ll go to this party, since this time they will be together and won’t ditch one another. They can also see Niall and Zayn, who have actually started dating.

Louis hasn’t seen Zayn since that night at the pub, the one where he went home with Collin, but they’ve been texting. Well, their texting is mostly Zayn giving him Niall updates.

Instead of being annoyed with the texts, they started to make him happy. He was happy for his friend who already seemed to be in a much healthier relationship, one that he knows is right for him.

It’s relieving. He was always stressed out for Zayn, because it’s hard to watch your friend date someone that you don’t trust.

Niall? He trusts Niall. He hasn’t talked with him much, since they’ve only hung out a handful of times, but each time they were together, he enjoyed it. Because the lad is fun, and... he’s just himself. Simple as that.

Anyways. They were supposed to leave for the party already, but of course, Louis is struggling with the mess on his head.

He frantically plays with his hair, the gel in his hands not doing what it’s supposed to do when twirling the strands. God damn it, his hair is always going to be his worst enemy.

Harry, who is watching him from his bed, notices. “I had no idea you had this much trouble getting your hair together.”

“Shut the fuck up, cunt. Not everyone’s hair falls perfectly into place like yours does.”

“True. My hair is definitely one of my better qualities.”

Jesus. He’s starting to sound like Louis. He turns to give him a glare. “I will literally fucking kill you.”

Harry simply smiles, standing up and walking over to him. “Can I help? What is it you’re trying to do with it, even?”

“No.”

“It looks fine,” he insists, looking at his head, eyes full of amusement. “I don’t understand the problem.”

“Alright,” Louis snaps, throwing his gel in the sink and not even bothering to clean up. “Let’s go.”

“Is there anyone you’re trying to impress?” Harry teases as they both get on their jackets. “Hm? Anyone you got your eye on that you want them to notice your hair?”

“Please. I fix my hair for me. Not for some curly haired demon.”

Harry bursts into laughter. “Demon?!”

“You heard me.”

“If anyone is a demon in this relationship it’s you,” he mumbles, opening the door for them once they’re all set to go.

“Thank you.”

Harry rolls his eyes and they start making their way to the party. They have to walk there in the cold weather, since both of them don’t own a car.

That’s something Louis wants to buy himself more than anything. A good old fashioned car. But he can’t see that happening any time in the near future, which sucks. It’s his own fault though so he can’t be too upset about it.

Lately, he’s been considering going back to university more than ever. And that’s only because of Harry. Harry, who is smart and is always balancing his relationships with Louis and Niall, studying as hard as he can without completely overworking himself.

Christ, Louis just needs to _do_ something. Even if he tries finding a career in graphic design, it’s better than working at a fucking pub, isn’t it?

Plus, he’d be happy doing it. Sure, that thought in the back of his head will always nag him, saying he’s not good enough, but at least it’s not where he is now. Which is fucking pathetic.

“What’s on your mind babe?” Harry asks because he knows, he always knows when something is wrong. He also wraps his arm around Louis’ waist, pulling him in closer. He stumbles over his feet but balances himself quick enough, getting comfortable from Harry’s warmth. 

“Nothing,” he answers, not wanting to put this on Harry now. There’s no reason to talk about the possibility of him returning to uni as they are on their way to a party.

It’s a conversation they can have later, and hopefully Harry can knock some more common sense into him because he needs it from someone like him.

“Okay,” he says softly, understanding what’s going on. He leans down to kiss the top of Louis’ head, which only ends up with Louis pushing him harshly away.

“Hey! Not on the fucking hair!”

“Jesus Christ,” Harry breathes, catching himself so he doesn’t trip off the sidewalk. “You’re actually insane.”

“You saw how long this took me to get together and then you put your obscene mouth on it!”

“My—my obscene _mouth_?”

Right. They haven’t gotten to this point yet. But now, since they are both aware of their feelings, Louis doesn’t want to hold back anymore. Instead of letting himself get embarrassed, he just adds onto it.

Because he can, can't he? If he wants to have fun right now, he will. He wants to see Harry's reaction more than anything.

“Yeah. Don’t act like you aren’t aware of that fact,” he says, looking over his shoulder because Harry suddenly started walking slower. “All I think about is how fucking _obscene_ it would look wrapped around my cock. I think about you moaning my name while choking on it.”

And Harry stops walking, staring at Louis with wide eyes. He visibly swallows, cheeks becoming a beautiful shade of red like always, and Louis smiles proudly at the sight. He stops himself too, crossing his arms as they stand facing each other.

But then Harry snaps out of it, shaking his head and strutting forward, harshly grabbing Louis’ arm and pulling him like he’s a misbehaved child. “No. You are not doing this to me. Nope. We are taking this _slow_. We aren’t dating yet, so we can’t—”

“Oh, come off it, Harry. I know you want me to fuck your mouth as soon as possible.” Harry squeezes his arm harder, making him flinch. “Ow! Detach your claws!”

“I’m about to walk into this fucking party with a buldge in my pants because of you.”

Louis swings his head around so he can glance down at Harry’s crotch, and sure enough, the boy is half hard. Jesus Christ, just from that talk? Louis shouldn’t be judging though because he is seconds away from getting hard himself.

“I could fix that,” he swallows, cock twitching just at the thought of finally having sex with Harry.

God. They are going to have beautiful, magical, life changing sex, aren’t they?

(Someone slap Louis across the face now, please.)

“Shut. Up.”

“You could make me—”

Harry slaps a hand over Louis’ mouth (rather fucking harshly too, to the point it stings his skin) before he bends down and hisses in his ear. “Stop talking.” Louis doesn't know how to react, all he's aware of is that their bodies are so fucking close and he can't _breathe_. “Are you going to be good?” Harry asks, hand still over his mouth. Louis’ cock twitches but he nods and Harry sighs, letting go. “Thank you.”

“Fuck,” Louis breathes, slamming a hand to his chest. “Now I’m hard too. Are you sure—”

“Louis! You just said you weren’t going to continue!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologies, doing some weird jerk of his body to try and recollect himself. His hand whacks against Harry’s stomach in the process, which makes the boy literally jump away from him.

“Don’t touch me!”

Then they both freeze, staring at each other with wide eyes, panting desperately to try and catch their breath as they have bulges in their pants.

And just like that, they burst into laughter.

It’s to the point that they both have to sit on the ground, wiping at the tears falling down. Harry’s head lands on Louis’ lap and Louis allows his hands to tug at the curls, pushing his face into the crook of his neck. Their bodies are positioned so awkwardly as they laugh, but Louis has never been so happy in his life.

“We are the stupidest two people on the planet,” Louis laughs, just as Harry finally straightens himself up.

Harry looks ethereal. The lamppost above them hits his skin, defining his cheekbones even more than usual, his glossy green eyes shining bright. Louis has never felt this way about another person before, that the sight of them makes him think that maybe life is worth all this misery after all.

Because if he can share moments like this with Harry? That’s all he fucking needs. He can deal with the rest of it.

“No. I hate you. I actually fucking hate you,” Harry laughs, wiping under his eyes with his pointer finger. “You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Wait until you get my cock in your—”

Harry lunges himself at Louis, and this time instead of using his hand to shut him up, he uses his mouth. He kisses Louis hard, purposely biting as his bottom lip. He tugs at it slightly before he sticks his tongue inside to meet with Louis’. They aren’t laughing anymore, he knows that much. Their focus right now is tasting each other, their mouths moving in sync with their hot panting.

Louis can’t breathe.

Before it gets too escalated, Harry pulls away, staggering off of him and landing back on his arse on the sidewalk. His pupils are blown and he runs a shaky hand through his hair. “Fuck,” he puffs, blinking rapidly.

“You said—'' Louis starts, choking on his own saliva as he swallows before continuing. “—you said no kissing.”

“That was until you started teasing me,” Harry accuses, quickly standing to his feet. “Come on. We need to get to the party before I suck you off right here.”

Louis groans, throwing his head back before listening. Harry’s right. This all happened way too fast.

(He’s not mad about it though. Not at all.)

Louis takes Harry’s hand as he helps him up, unable to stop the smirk spreading across his face. “I always win.”

“Not exactly. I still have all my self control.”

“Not for long. I’m irresistible.”

“More like irritable.”

“Don’t act like you don't love it,” Louis points out, stuffing his hands into his pockets so he doesn’t reach out and touch Harry. “My _mouth_ is my best quality. Seriously. I’m great at talking, I’m great at suck—”

“Finish that sentence and I will actually leave you.”

Louis laughs while Harry bites down a smile as his cheeks stay rosy the entire rest of the way to the party.

When they arrive, they have both calmed down for the most part, thankfully, so they walk in, Louis grabbing them both drinks before he starts looking around.

Same exact shit as last time. Can’t say he actually missed this.

It’s so fucking strange that he now has this outlook on parties. All he used to do is party. He’d get wasted, dance on tables, kiss all the boys he could. He’d have the time of his life. But now?

Now he would rather lounge on his couch with Harry while talking about nothing.

He glances back at Harry and by the look on his face, he can tell that he’s thinking the same exact thing.

“We should find Zayn and Niall, yeah? Talk to them a little and then we can leave?”

“Oh thank God,” Harry says, all the tension in his shoulders loosening up. “I’m not like... judging other people’s life choices by any means, live life the way you want to, of course. But this is not really my cup of tea.”

Louis laughs, shaking his head and placing a gentle hand on Harry’s back. “You are my favorite person in the world.”

He says this lightly, but honestly, there’s a lot more truth to that sentence than he wants to admit.

The smile on Harry’s face after he says this is everything he could ever want. He wants nothing more than to always make him smile.

Soon, they spot Zayn and Niall standing in the corner of the room, immediately Louis can sense something is wrong with the look on Zayn’s face. He acts before thinking, hurrying over to him and placing his hand on his arm.

Zayn startles at first, relaxing once he sees that it’s Louis. “What’s wrong?” He asks, feeling Harry catch up to them and standing next to Louis.

“Liam’s here,” he mumbles. “It didn’t bother me at first, you know, because I’m here with Niall. But then he approached us and introduced me to Anthony.”

Anthony. The guy from his job that he cheated on Zayn with.

Louis clenches his jaw. “I know you told me not to confront him, but—”

“Louis,” he interrupts, shaking his head. “Don’t.”

“Sorry. Not happening.”

“Niall already did. It’s fine. Like I said, it’s over. I’m just... that was so weird,” he explains, shaking his head as Niall throws his arm around his waist.

“Yeah. Long story short, I told him to fuck off,” Niall explains, rubbing Zayn’s back. “He won’t bother him again, so I reckon we’re fine. It just happened five minutes ago, that’s why Zayn’s a little stressed.”

“What’d he say?” Louis asks Zayn, reaching over to grab his arm again. “I’m serious, Zee, say the word and I’ll go over there and—”

“Stop,” Zayn insists, giving him a dark glare. “It’s fine. Can we just forget about him?”

“In other news,” Niall says, rushing to change the subject for him. “Harry did amazing on that exam he took this week. Let’s celebrate that.” He holds up his drink, and Harry just shakes his head as he clicks his against it.

This makes Louis turn to him with raised eyebrows, sort of offended that this is the first he’s hearing about this. “Is that so?”

Harry blushes, slowly bringing his attention to him. “Yeah. I didn’t get the chance to tell you. I’ve been occupied with... others things,” he says with a smirk, making Louis roll his eyes.

“Christ. Can you not make wank jokes in front of me? I’m still traumatized from the time we were 16,” Niall complains, completely oblivious. 

“Niall, don’t,” Harry snaps, already annoyed with him tonight.

Louis being Louis and noticing Harry’s immediate distressed state, he takes this as the chance to pry. “Oh now you _have_ to tell this story.”

“No he doesn’t,” Harry snaps, shifting closer to Louis while keeping his eyes locked on Niall. “Don’t act like I don’t have equally as embarrassing stories about you.”

“I never get embarrassed,” Niall states with a shrug and well, Louis could see that being true. The boy doesn’t seem too worried about what others think about him. “Anyways. Harry was—”

“Stop!”

Louis reaches up to cover Harry’s mouth, just like he did on the way here. “Hurry, we don’t have much time until he—” And yup, Harry purposely licks Louis’ hand with all the saliva he can get on it. He yanks his hand away and screeches, wiping it down Harry’s shirt. “Now that was just gross!”

(Not really.)

“Serves you right,” he mutters, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Louis glares at him one last time, turning to Niall who is watching them with a smile. Zayn also is smiling slightly, seeming to already forget about Liam which is great. “Anyways. Please continue.”

“Yeah, alright, so Harry and I would normally just barge into our houses at any given time. Harry wasn’t at school that day, so I left class early to go and check on him, just because I wanted the excuse to get out of there anyways. So I walked in, heading to his bedroom where the door was closed, and I assumed he was just napping or something so I walked in to check and make sure he was at least alive. Turns out the boy was laying flat on his bed, legs rested vertically against his wall, head tilted backwards off the mattress as he watched _Crazy, Stupid, Love_. It was the scene with Ryan Gosling shirtless, and well, that’s when I also figured out that Harry was quite gay.”

And yeah. That’s all Louis needs to bend over with laughter again, ignoring Harry shoving at his body, clearly embarrassed. “I had the house to myself!” He defends himself loudly, just as everyone else starts laughing too.

“My God, you are so embarrassing,” Louis says as he stands up straight, and Harry just smiles at him, not even that ashamed. “What on earth goes through your head?”

“Well...” he starts, probably referring to the conversation they had before they arrived. Louis just sticks his middle finger up at him when Zayn starts talking.

“If we are talking embarrassing sex stories, Louis has no room to judge.”

“Hey now,” Louis says quickly, turning to look at his friend that is about to betray him. “You know Zayn, you have some weird obsession with my sex life because you always seem to be talking about whether or not I’m—”

Harry puts his hand over Louis’ mouth again, facing Zayn. Apparently this is their new way of shutting each other up. “He’s just diverting the subject. Please tell me all of them, Zayn. I need to hear this.”

Louis pushes him off and feels himself partially blushing because... well. He has definitely told Zayn a good amount of fails he’s had with random hookups, and he can only imagine how Harry is going to take it.

Whatever. Harry already told him that he likes him. No taking it back now. This is what he has to deal with.

They spend the next hour just like that, chatting in the corner, telling as many embarrassing stories as they can as they get more alcohol in their systems. It’s so hard for both Harry and him not touching each other. He notices it in Harry a lot of the night specifically, because he consistently makes sure they are very subtle, just brushing his pinkie against Louis’ knuckles, pressing their shoulders against each other.

It’s not that much of a surprise, because Harry is a really touchy person. It’s like he craves it, no matter how small. He seems to just like that affection and Louis adores that about him.

He didn’t realize he’s the same exact way until he started feeling like cold water was being poured over him every time they weren’t touching.

When Zayn and Niall leave Harry and Louis alone, implying they are going off to get it on somewhere, Louis purposely sighs, leaning against the wall as he looks at Harry. “If only that were us.”

“Shush,” Harry says, shaking his head. He takes a moment and looks Louis up and down, eyes sparkling, even in this dark lighting. “You look really nice tonight, by the way. I don't think I got the chance to tell you.”

Louis nods, looking down at his shirt. “This outfit really does bring out all my right features, doesn’t it?” He teases, and when Harry rolls his eyes he just laughs. “But thank you, babe. You look even better.”

“Not possible,” he murmurs, taking a step closer and Louis knows that look in his eyes.

So being the stubborn bastard he is, he pushes Harry away. “Nah uh. You said no kissing until our first date.”

“Did I? I don’t remember that,” he says, relentlessly walking forward again. “You look really kissable right now.”

Louis is about to respond, but soon his eyes fall past Harry, met with Liam sitting on the couch with another boy and all of a sudden, he sees red.

He doesn’t give a fuck what Zayn said. He has to give him a piece of his own mind. This might be the only chance he has to do so.

So without explaining to Harry, he walks around him and approaches him loudly. “Liam! Long time no see! And thank God for that,” he greets, watching as Liam rolls his eyes and throws his face into his hands.

“What do you want?”

“I want you to admit you’re a selfish, horrible, disgusting cunt.”

“I bet you love this,” he says, finally looking him in the eyes. “You finally have the excuse to call me all these names you’ve always thought in your head.”

“Well, you are right about that, me thinking those names in my head. But I don’t love this. And you know why? Because I never wanted to have to call you these names out loud. I know you, and as much as I hate to admit this, you aren’t stupid. You’re just fucking ignorant. You knew how much Zayn loved you, so you took advantage of him. I wanted you to prove me wrong, show me that maybe in the long run, Zayn had the right guy in his life. But you didn’t, so yes, my intuition was correct, and I’m pissed that it was. Not that any of this matters, since you apparently found yourself your own prick to date, who I’m sure was aware you had a boyfriend. And I’m glad this led Zayn to Niall, because he’s better than you ever will be and—”

“I get it,” Liam snaps, interrupting him. “Now fuck off.”

“See, I would have left you alone if you didn’t say hi to Zayn. I can tell that whatever this is,” he explains, pointing between Liam and Anthony, “is not going to last. What you had with Zayn would have lasted if you weren’t a fucking miserable bastard.”

“That’s enough,” Anthony speaks up for the first time, glaring at Louis. “Leave us alone.”

“Why did you say hi to Zayn? You wanted to see if you still had some power over him, didn’t you? I’ll be the one to say it. You don’t. You never will again because he’s got Niall now. So please, don’t fucking approach him again, and stop fucking texting him. I’ve seen your name pop up on his screen plenty of times, and each time Zayn ignores them which you hate. Sure, you were once everything to him, but now you’re absolutely nothing. And you’ll be nothing for the rest of your pathetic life—”

Liam stands up and this is when Harry actually intervenes, stepping in closer and putting a hand up. “He’s done. We’re going now,” he says, causing Liam to stop and curiously look at Harry who he’s never met before.

Harry quickly grabs Louis’ hand and pulls him away. He had more to say, because well, he always has more to say, but he said enough. He got his point across and he supposes it’s fine to leave them be now. He definitely got through to Liam, considering he was probably going to punch Louis in the face, so he’ll call this successful.

“Jesus. You might be small, but you are terrifying,” Harry mutters to him as they walk through the house, leading them to the front door.

“Not now, Harry,” he snaps, and this shuts him up immediately.

They walk in silence for a good amount of time, until Harry breaks it by reaching down to press a quick kiss on his neck. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters, still not feeling completely satisfied with how that happened. “It still doesn’t take back what he did to Zayn.”

Harry nods and continues guiding them on the sidewalk, walking absentmindedly. “No, it doesn’t. But like you said, this did in a way lead him to Niall. And they’re perfect for each other. If he was still with Liam when he met Niall, who knows what could have happened?”

“Hopefully Zayn would have cheated on Liam with Niall.”

Harry squeezes his hand tightly. “I’m not so sure about that scenario.”

He sighs loudly, feeling a headache forming in his brain. “Where are we going?” Louis asks, wanting to change the subject abruptly.

“Are you warm enough to stay outside?” Harry questions gently, and when Louis nods, he continues. “Alright. I have an idea, then. Kind of.”

“Is this our first date?”

“Nope,” he responds, making Harry groan and laugh. “What! I’m planning a very romantic evening for you. You should be thankful.”

“Eh. Maybe if you keep taking so long I’ll find someone else to take me out. Collin is still waiting for me to—”

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“Where is a good place to hide a body in Cardiff? You know, hypothetically, if I were to kill you or something.”

Louis laughs, nuzzling his face into Harry’s chest. “You would never get rid of me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Hm, maybe not. But maybe Collin knows a good spot—”

Harry groans louder, pulling Louis close to his side. “Stop! I’m still embarrassed about how I acted in front of him.”

“I’ve never seen you even be a little rude toward someone,” Louis chuckles, melting into Harry’s warmth. “I was surprised.”

“Well, yeah, I was caught off guard. All I could think was I lost my chance with you. I was so fucking mad at myself that I took it out on him and you.”

“You’re adorable when you’re jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous!”

“I’m sorry, you weren’t?”

Harry pouts and shoves Louis away. “I’m starting to second guess myself about wanting to take you out on a date,” he mumbles, before reaching out to grab Louis’ hand, like those five seconds of not touching each other weren’t allowed. “Okay. Want to sit?”

Louis glances over to the bench outside their complex, not even realizing that they were already over here. He thought Harry was taking him somewhere else. He was just too distracted by staring at the sidewalk that he didn’t even notice they were going right back where they came from.

“Sure. I was expecting something better, but I guess this will do,” he teases, sitting down with him at the same time.

“The reason I brought us here was because this is where we first officially met and I had a question to ask you,” Harry sighs while softly thumbing at his knuckles. “Want to go on a date with me next weekend?”

Feeling the urge to be annoying, Louis shakes his head. “No thanks.”

Harry laughs, squeezing their hands tightly. “No? What do you mean, no?”

Louis shrugs teasingly, turning to Harry who is already staring at him with a goofy smile. “I don't like how you asked me. You said you’re an expert date planner, but I’m not too impressed with your proposal.”

“Christ. You are such a diva.”

“Yeah, well. I won’t argue with that.”

“Fine. Am I going to have to tell you to come to my job tomorrow, and then I’ll ask you there in a much better way? Will that exceed your wishes, princess?”

“I don’t even know where your work is.”

“I’ll text you the address, you idiot.”

“Kay," Louis smiles, feeling like a God damn teenager all over again.

....

When Louis excitedly walks into the flower shop, he barely has a second to glance around the room before a voice is dragging him out of his thoughts.

“Louis! You’re here!” His head snaps over to Harry who is watering some plant. He immediately puts it down, walking to Louis and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Come. I must introduce you to Gloria.”

“Oh,” he says, not really aware that they were doing this. Harry introducing him to his coworkers and what not. “Okay.”

Harry guides him around the small shop, stopping in front of a shorter, older looking woman. Her curly hair is pulled up in a tight bun. “Glo, look who showed up.”

Gloria turns around to face the two of them, keeping her eyes only on Louis. She smiles immediately. “My goodness, Harry was right, you are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Louis laughs as Harry flushes, dropping his hand from Louis’ shoulder. “At least he didn’t lie. I’m glad I lived up to expectations.”

At this, Gloria laughs and he can just feel Harry rolling his eyes. “And there’s the humor I’ve also heard about.”

Finally, Louis turns to Harry with raised eyebrows. He thinks back to when he first met Niall, how the lad told him that Harry doesn’t stop talking about him. Apparently he does it here, too.

(Louis is not fond about it. Nope.)

“When are you going to stop talking about me behind my back?”

Harry blushes, but that doesn’t stop a smirk from appearing on his face. “Whenever you stop being so wonderful.”

Oh. Oh, fuck. That was... that was really sweet.

For the first time, Louis can feel himself start blushing. He rarely gets red in the face, but for whatever reason, that specific compliment just made his heart grow ten sizes bigger.

“Are you going to show your boy around, then? I can head up front,” Gloria explains, already making her way over there. _Your boy_. “This one loves his flowers, Louis.”

“I know,” Louis responds weakly, thinking of the flowers in his hair. “He’s sort of embarrassing, isn’t he?”

“Hey,” Harry whines, nudging him harshly. “You love it.”

“Maybe,” he mumbles, scratching at his head. “So are you going to give me the tour?”

And just after that, Harry does. He shows him every inch of the shop, explaining every little detail that goes into it as well. He tells the story about how Gloria’s family started this business ever since she was a kid and now she’s taken over, saying what flowers are his favorite and why.

Again, watching Harry in another one of his elements makes his heart swell. He could listen to him go on and on for days. He’d never get sick of hearing him talk about the things he loves and appreciates.

It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Towards the end of the small tour, Harry yanks a sunflower up, spinning around and staring at Louis with soft eyes. “Louis Tomlinson. Would you like to go on a date with me next week?” He asks, holding out the flower for him to take. “You’ll be able to see that I specifically picked a sunflower, because you remind me of the sun. You make my world brighter, and to brighten it even more, all you have to do is say yes.”

Louis bursts into laughter, just as Harry does because he pulled that entire thing out of his arse. “You’ve got a mouth full of bullshit.”

Harry bites down the biggest grin. “Well it’s true. The sun is bright, just like you are. Not to mention hot as _fuck_.”

There’s nothing more Louis loves than seeing different sides of Harry. This one right here? One of his favorites, for sure.

(Really, every part of Harry is his favorite. But. This one is his favorite right now.)

“Jesus Christ. Who are you?”

“Did you like it? Was it ridiculous enough for you?”

“Very. Now we will never do that again.” Harry laughs, and Louis finally takes the sunflower into his own hands. He fondly looks back at Harry, trying to comprehend that this boy is real. “I can’t believe you said all that.”

“I thought you wanted me to!”

“Well, to be fair, you probably think that in your head anyways. You _are_ a sap. You didn’t completely pull that out of your arse.”

“I guess we’ll never know,” Harry smirks, and Louis shoves at his shoulder, trying to ignore how fast he is falling for this boy in front of him.


	9. nine

Louis is having trouble perfecting his hair for his date with Harry. That’s a shock, isn’t it? Not like this ever happens to him.

He’s frantically trying to get it just the way he wants when Harry knocks, interrupting him from creating a masterpiece. He groans to himself, giving up completely before spraying cologne and hurrying to open it for him.

Harry is on the other side with his hands behind his back, a smile plastered on his face. He’s got on a black button up (just like Louis does) with some dark skinny jeans and a pair of black boots to match instead of his normal pink Converses. “Good evening, gorgeous,” Harry greets happily, making Louis roll his eyes.

“Hi,” Louis greets regardless, grabbing his jacket off the hanger. “I’m ready to be amazed.”

“Amazed you will be,” Harry agrees, holding out his hand for Louis as he steps out. “I think you’ll be happy to know I’ve got us an Uber for today, so we actually don’t have to walk.”

“In that case, I’ll be paying for the ride home,” Louis insists right away, taking his hand. “We’re splitting the day even. I can already see you’re the type to want to pay for everything on a date, but that’s not going to happen with me. So don’t bother trying to fight me on this.”

“So bossy,” Harry grumbles, opening the door for them. “I love it.”

“It’s called equality,” he says, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “So are you going to wine and dine me tonight?”

“Honestly, I didn’t really take you as the go out to dinner type of guy. I thought you’d rather just bring takeout back to my flat afterwards, no?” Harry asks sweetly, leading them to the car. He opens it, letting Louis crawl in first. “Unless you are?”

Louis laughs because he’s absolutely right. He doesn’t mind going out to eat, sure, but he’d rather do something else. “That’s only because I’m cheap.”

Harry giggles, placing his hand on Louis’ thigh as they start driving. “Okay, good. So no, we aren’t going out to dinner to answer your question.”

“Then what are we doing?”

Harry smiles, letting his head fall back against the carseat. “I wanted to do something specifically for _you_. That’s why I’m taking us to an art gallery.”

Fuck.

It’s such a thoughtful thing, isn’t it? That Harry took the time to pick a place that is in Louis’ favor, based on what he knows about him. How he told Harry about his passion for graphic design and all that.

The biggest part about this though, is looking into Harry’s eyes, he can see how excited he is for tonight. He sees the anticipation, how he wants to make Louis happy.

How did he get this lucky again? Someone please let him know.

“Yeah?” Louis asks, becoming a bit shy. “That’s not too boring for you? I want us to both enjoy this date, you know?”

“Absolutely not. I can’t wait to hear all your thoughts on all the pieces we look at since I love the way your mind works.”

Louis laughs, biting his lip and looking out the window.

After tonight, he’s going to have to show Harry his old art, isn’t he?

He’s been coming close to just bringing them out and dropping them all in front of Harry, but now he really wants to. He wants to give him that because Harry’s been dying to see them for a while now.

It’d be a good way to end the night, wouldn’t it? He’s sure Harry would appreciate it. This seems to be the final push he sort of needed.

“I don’t,” he finds himself responding after a good minute, realizing what Harry just said. “If you got your way inside of here, you would want out.” He taps his temple and Harry frowns.

“I wish I could get inside of your head because I would gather all those negative thoughts and get them out of you,” he says softly, reaching over to press a kiss against his cheek. “We’ll have fun tonight. I promise.”

Leave it up to Louis to ruin the mood before they even get there.

“I know we will,” he responds, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder as their hands intertwine. “Thank you for this. It’s a brilliant idea for a date.”

“Good.”

They sit in silence for the rest of the short ride there, hands never pulling apart. It’s warm in the car, snuggled up next to him. Louis wouldn’t mind spending the night just like this.

Really, he doesn’t give a fuck what they do. Not at all. As long as he’s with Harry, able to touch him, talk to him, make him laugh, that’s more than enough.

Maybe he is turning into a sap after all.

When they arrive, Harry immediately starts to argue with him, saying he’s paying for their admission because this was all his idea. He insists that on their next date, Louis can be the one that pays for him. Plus, he’ll let him pay for the Uber ride back, so at least it’s somewhat even.

Louis hates him but he ends up giving in anyways.

“Have you ever been here?” Harry questions once that’s all over and they are inside, beginning to walk through the museum.

“No, I haven’t. There’s not much I’ve done here in Cardiff, actually. Just been to random parties, pubs and clubs across the area. Nothing like this,” he admits, realizing how pathetic that sounds.

He’s lived here what? Six years?

He doesn’t even think you can consider that as living, quite frankly.

“Well there’s a first time for everything,” Harry says, crossing his arms over his chest. Louis watches him because he can, and because this boy is so effortlessly gorgeous, isn’t he?

They’re standing in the middle of an art gallery and all he wants to pay attention to is Harry. He could stare at him for the rest of his life and consistently be amazed by his beauty.

“What?” Harry laughs, eyebrows pushing together as he points out that Louis has been caught staring.

Louis shakes his head. “Sorry. I just like looking at you.”

Harry beams at that, not even hesitating to grab Louis by his forearms to pull him in for a quick kiss. It catches Louis off guard, and before he can even process it, he’s hauling away. “Come on,” he says, nodding his head. There's a pause for another beat, and then, “so how’d you get into art and stuff?” Harry asks as they walk through the crowd of people in the museum, bending his head a little so he can be closer to Louis.

He sighs, glancing around the walls to see all the pieces hanging up as he talks. “I always used it as my distraction. It was easy to get lost in it, you know? I’d listen to my music and work. Everyone knew not to bother me when I was designing or drawing something since I was in my own world.”

“Not everyone has a passion that does that,” Harry points out. “But if you do, I don’t think people realize how lucky they are. That they can have an escape, even if it’s for a little bit, doing something they love while temporarily forgetting about all the other shit going on in their lives.”

“Exactly,” Louis says softly, pushing his body closer to Harry’s. “The thing is too, when you’re drawing, you can also _make_ your own world. If that makes any sense.”

“It does. It’s no different than writing. I think the best part of art though is that at first glance everyone will interpret it differently. That’s what makes it special.”

“Yeah,” Louis breathes out a laugh, always amazed with how Harry just takes the words from his mouth. “It also says a lot about a person, how they view things. You can discover a lot about someone just by hearing what they think of a certain painting. At least from my own experience, I can.”

“What about this one?” Harry asks, pointing to a picture of a colorful person, with something that looks like their soul spilling out of them which turns into darkness and then into dust. Louis immediately takes interest in it, and instead of giving his take first, he wants to hear what Harry thinks.

“How about you tell me your interpretation before I give you mine?”

Harry smiles with a shrug. “I see a person going into the afterlife.”

He laughs, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

He shrugs. “Yeah. I don’t know? Like one second they’re here, bright and alive, and the next second they’re gone,” he explains, curiously watching Louis. “Your turn.”

He sighs loudly, looking at it deep in thought. Well, here goes nothing. "I think of it as the transitions we have in life, from childhood to adulthood. Everything is so colorful when you're younger and then you become older and everything just becomes black and white before we are nothing. Everything seems kind of pointless after that. Life turns to dust before we know it."

Harry opens his mouth for a moment as he takes in Louis’ words. "That’s sort of dark, isn’t it?”

Louis laughs. _That’s the whole point_ , he wants to say, but instead he explains further. “To be fair, I think the world is always in black and white. Even when we're kids. It's just what we want to see in color, you know? Kids are happier because we don't know all the bad in the world yet but when we grow up we're hit with reality. It sucks."

Harry stops for a moment, staring at the painting a little longer before looking at Louis. “So that’s how you view the world? As _dust_?” He asks bewildered, and Louis shrugs.

“Yeah. We’re all floating through life from here on out.”

Harry continues staring, a small frown on his lips. He doesn’t think Harry’s ever looked at him this way before, but thankfully, he continues before Louis starts squirming under his gaze. “At least we’re floating through it together.”

Louis gives him a soft smile, heart beating hard against his chest. He feels like he just exposed a big part of him to Harry without even meaning to. “Yeah. At least we are.”

And just like that they continue on.

....

Their date went on like that for the rest of the evening. Harry pointing out specific paintings, wanting to hear Louis’ interpret it in his own words. Harry and Louis had a lot of different takes on them, and all he can think about now is that Harry definitely has a better outlook on life than he does.

Which... isn't all that surprising. Louis is a dark person.

After they spent an hour there, they grabbed their takeout and decided to eat it outside since it wasn't that cold tonight. Harry insisted that they should get fresh air, and Louis didn’t want to argue with that.

So they ate their Chinese on the bench quickly, before making their way upstairs. Since Louis has been planning on showing Harry his designs, he takes out his own keys as they walk in their hallway. “Hey. Let’s go to my flat,” he says, and Harry nods, eyes foggy as he stares at Louis.

“Would you hate me if I told you this was the best date I’ve ever been on?” He asks out of nowhere, voice low and hoarse.

Louis laughs, not understanding. “No? Why the hell would I hate you for that?”

Harry shrugs, stepping closer as Louis goes to unlock the door. “I dunno. I just... I really enjoyed myself tonight. I really enjoy _you_.”

Something shifts as Louis pushes himself inside, turning around to see Harry right behind him. The second the door shuts, Louis responds. “I enjoy you too,” he says lamely, but it seems to satisfy Harry enough, because soon he leans in to kiss him.

It’s hesitant, and that’s only because they’re home now. They are home where they have privacy and there is a bed... and it seems as if they are both unsure if they’re going to go there tonight.

The kiss is gentle, lips pressing against each other with small swipes of the tongue, and Louis can feel Harry panting against his mouth.

Louis isn’t used to romantic, so it’s weird. It’s weird kissing him like this after having one of the best nights of his life. He’s never been on a date like this, has he? Now that he’s thinking about it, he’s almost positive that was the first time he’s gone on a date that was so sweet.

One where the other person was doing everything they could to make sure he was happy. Harry was so focused on Louis, to see if he was okay and was enjoying himself, that he doesn’t even think he thought about himself once.

That’s... that’s different. No one has ever wanted to do something like this for him without getting sex in return.

The kiss eventually starts getting hotter, and it seems that the second it does, Harry pulls away and nearly bangs his head against the door. “Um. So it’s obvious that I... that I um, really like you? I really, _really_ like you, but I think we should take it slow because of that. It’s just... it sort of scares me how much I like you and I don’t want to screw it up.”

Oh. This is completely different from the other night. Harry seemed a bit more confident and ready, but now? Now he’s almost shaking at the thought of it and Louis doesn’t understand what happened between then and tonight.

But that doesn’t matter. What matters now is helping Harry through whatever this is.

So he quickly throws his hands up to cup Harry’s face because he starts getting tears in them as he rambles. It seems as if something serious happened to him in his past relationship is what he’s gathering, and he doesn’t want it happening with them.

It’s understandable. He didn’t even need to explain himself because Louis isn’t mad. He isn’t with Harry just for sex. If he wanted sex with Harry, it would have happened the first week they spent together. He’s here for him, for his quirky jokes, his weird way of making Louis laugh, for the pretty blush that makes its way onto his cheeks after almost anything.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispers, thumbing at his cheeks as Harry closes his eyes, probably since he’s embarrassed he’s tearing up. “We can take it as slow as you want, yeah? I really like you too and there’s no rush.”

Harry nods, bringing his hand up to hold the one Louis still has pressed against his cheek. “Okay,” he agrees quietly, and Louis being Louis hates hearing the crack in his voice, so he hurries to lighten up the mood.

“I think our date went successful, don’t you?” He asks, poking at Harry’s cheek which makes him start to smile, and as that happens, he digs the rest of his finger into his dimples. “Because of that, it’s fair we make this official, don’t you agree?”

Harry opens his eyes then, and drops his hand so he can reach behind him, taking his phone out from his back pocket. He glances at the screen and groans. “Ugh. November 13th? An odd number? Really? I fucking hate odd numbers and now our anniversary is on one.”

Louis laughs, pulling away from him, beyond glad he’s not upset anymore. “You’re weird.”

“And your boyfriend,” he blurts right back, a goofy smile across his face as he puts his phone away.

Louis understands that his smile is just as goofy though, so he shouldn’t call Harry out for it.

He then thinks back to earlier, and now realizes it’s the perfect time to do this. Especially to get them distracted all over again.

“Hey. Why don’t you go sit on my couch? I’ve got something I want to show you.”

“Oh?” Harry asks, raising his eyebrows. “What’s that, then?”

“Um,” Louis starts bashfully, hugging his arms over his stomach. “I was going to show you some of my art?”

Instantly, Harry’s eyes light up and he starts nodding frantically. “Yeah? Lou, I’d love that.”

So they go their separate ways, just so Louis can go in his bedroom. He has to reach under his bed to pull out the box he keeps full of all his work, before he walks back to Harry who is sitting just like he asked.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Harry look so excited.

“It’s not uh, much. They’re not that good—”

“Shush,” Harry says, reaching up immediately to take the box in his hands.

Louis watches him nervously, sitting next to him as he starts digging through all his drawings, paintings, everything that is in there. There are countless things in there, varying from graphic design, stupid little sketches, anything else you can name.

The one that catches his attention enough to get him to finally speak is the portrait of his mum he did for her birthday. He never got the chance to give it to her because he thought she’d hate it. He got too insecure to even give his bloody mum something he worked hard on.

That says a lot about him, doesn't it? That's part of the reason he quit school, because if he was that insecure, how could he ever make it in the field? 

But now? He likes to think he can gain his confidence back one day.

“Who’s this?” He asks, turning to look at him for the first time since the box was placed in his hands.

“My mum,” he whispers, and Harry nods immediately.

“I thought so. You look just like her,” he says and Louis gulps because yeah, he definitely does.

Come to think of it, that’s the one thing they haven’t discussed with each other. Family. Not once have they mentioned their families which might seem strange to just about anyone.

Maybe it’s a touchy subject for Harry just like it is for Louis.

It’s not that Louis had a bad fallout with his because he didn’t. They just... aren’t as close as they used to be. And that’s all Louis’ fault, because he distanced himself.

That’s something he deep down hates himself for. It’s something he ignores because whenever he thinks about it, he’s reminded about how selfish he is. That he doesn’t deserve a caring, loving family like them.

The most annoying part about it is he knows he could easily fix it. He could start making an effort, reaching out and visiting them more frequently.

But he doesn’t. He continues being miserable because apparently that’s all he knows how to be.

“Louis...” he finally says as he nears the end, dragging him away from these thoughts before he gets too deep in them. “I can’t believe you think you aren’t talented enough. These are... fuck, I figured I would be impressed, but I didn’t think I’d be speechless.”

“You’re just—”

“I’m not. I’m not just saying that,” he argues, putting the box down to turn his body to face Louis’. “Please don’t give up on yourself. I understand you refuse to see your work as anything but ordinary, but take it from me, someone who can look at these through different eyes. You are incredible and I refuse to let you convince yourself otherwise.”

Louis wants to fight with him but he doesn’t see the point. Harry won’t stop until he agrees. So he nervously bites his lip before he moves forward, kissing Harry on his lips softly. Because that’s all he can do at this moment. He wants to kiss him for being the one person in the world to actually believe in him, especially when he can’t do it himself.

“I was considering going back to uni,” he breathes as he pulls away. He opens his eyes to see Harry is already staring at him thrilled.

“That’s amazing, Lou,” he says, nodding aggressively. “You’re amazing.”

They kiss again, and for the first time in forever, Louis feels like his life might have meaning again.

....

Two weeks of being Harry’s boyfriend. It’s still something that he’s never going to get used to.

And they have yet to break the news to their friends, which is actually what they’re about to do right now.

They’re all in Harry’s flat, munching on the snacks that he laid out for them. Some raunchy comedy is playing in the background, not really being watched since they’re all in conversation.

When it gets quiet enough, Harry and Louis exchange a glance knowing that now is the perfect time to bring it up.

Nervously, Louis clears his throat and looks over to Zayn and Niall. Niall is sitting on Zayn’s lap, playing with his hair. He seems to have an obsession with Zayn’s hair, and well, Louis can’t say he blames him.

“So uh,” Louis begins, not really knowing how to go about this, especially not when they look at Louis with those fucking eyes.

As he hesitates more, thankfully, Harry notices and reaches over to grab Louis’ hand, throwing their intertwined fingers in the air high to display it. “We’re dating!” He shouts, which makes Louis burst into laughter. Silly boy.

What he doesn’t expect is to hear Zayn sigh, before bending forward to grab his wallet from the coffee table, digging out money and handing it to Niall.

Niall smiles proudly, kissing it before stuffing it in his pocket. Harry and Louis exchange a very confused look before he explains. “We made a bet if you’d be dating by the end of the year or not,” Niall states casually with a shrug. “I said you would tell us before the new year. Zayn didn’t think you would. I won! Like always!”

“You mother fuckers. Betting on your friends! Really?!” Louis shouts, making them all laugh but him. He turns to Harry, pushing at his chest. “Are you not offended?”

“Well, not really. We were pretty obvious. It was only a matter of time.”

Louis scoffs, shaking his head and leaning into Harry’s body. “Especially you,” he points to Zayn. “Who are you?”

It’s unlike Zayn to do this behind his back. Normally, he would throw subtle questions about Harry to him if he suspected as much.

But then again, he knew how stressed out Louis was about all of this, so maybe he was just giving him time to figure it on his own.

Oh Zayn.

“I’m Niall’s lover,” he answers, purposely reaching up to kiss him. It starts out as a peck, but then Niall gets hungry eyes, and throws himself at him hard so they are now making out.

Louis groans and Harry pinches his hip. “Look what you did.”

“We’re never going to be like them, right?” He asks, and Harry nods aggressively.

“Oh no. Never,” he agrees sarcastically.

At that, they stare at each other before mischievously smirking. As if they can reach their minds, they are quick to lunge at each other, making a show of sticking their tongues down their throats. Harry lets out an obscene moan, that actually gets Louis’ cock to twitch as he pants into Harry’s mouth.

“Hey! Stop that!” Niall shouts, throwing a pillow at them.

Harry laughs immediately, pulling away from Louis and resting his forehead against his. “Well. It worked.”

Louis has to ignore his pants tightening.

Everything after that goes smoothly, though. Now that the news has been broken, Harry and him don’t have to be discreet when it comes to holding hands or anything. He can throw his fingers in his curls without being judged for it.

It’s nice. It’s perfect, even, that is, until he gets a text in his pocket.

He has to shake off of Harry a bit to be able to dig it out, and once he does, he wishes he didn’t read the message while he was with everyone.

**Lottie 6:48 P.M.**   
_Hey Louis, it’s your sister, remember me? I just wanted to let you know that mum and Josh are still pretty serious. I think he’s gonna propose during the holidays. I just don’t want you being surprised when you get here, so I thought I’d warn you ahead of time. See you x_

Now, Louis knows Josh. He met him last year when he went home for the holidays like he normally does. Mum and him have been dating over a year by now, but honestly, he can’t see his mum getting married again.

He doesn’t know if he can go through another fucking father leaving their family.

He starts nervously chewing on his fingernails as he puts his phone face down on the couch, not even bothering to reply to it. How the fuck is he supposed to respond to that?

Lottie has always been the main sister to bother him about the way he left. She’ll always throw in subtle digs, even when they are together she will make Louis feel like shit on purpose.

He deserves it, sure. But then it just leads to them fighting when he doesn’t want that to happen since they only see each other once a year. Sometimes it'll be a playful fight, other times, it'll be a rather serious one.

For whatever reason though, that text specifically is sending him over the edge.

“Hey,” Harry suddenly says, reaching over and resting a hand on his thigh. “You okay? Do you want to go sit on the bench outside for a little?”

Louis has no energy to even decline. It sounds like a nice offer, so he takes it. He wouldn’t mind sitting outside with him for a smoke.

They walk down in silence, and the very split second they are sitting down, Harry speaks up again. “Do you want to talk about it?” That's why he took him out here, so they could get privacy.

Zayn knows about his family but they don't talk about it that much since he knows it's a touchy subject for him. So he probably saw Louis tense up from that text, realizing who it was. Harry on the other hand has no idea about his family life.

Louis laughs nervously, fingers searching for his cigarettes. “Uh, do I? I’m not sure. Are _you_ sure you want to hear about how I’m a fuck up?”

“Louis,” he says disapproving, shaking his head. “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s true. I fuck up everything, don’t you know? My friendships, my family. Nothing ever goes smoothly for me,” he spits childishly, lighting his fag with shaky fingers. “It’s funny because sometimes I get mad at the way life treats me but then I remember I deserve it. Why should the world treat me better when I treat it like shit?”

“Hey, stop,” Harry says, kicking softly at his shin. “What’s wrong? What’s got you saying all of this?” Harry doesn’t waste any more time as he grabs his free hand. Always holding his hand, isn't he? 

When he dares a glance at Harry’s gentle eyes, he decides that he may as well pour everything out to him.

Maybe it’s for the better, yeah? If Harry knows that he’s actually not as kind as he thinks he is?

He takes a long drag before doing that. “So I grew up in Doncaster until I was 18. I was always really close with my mum, and my biological dad was never in the picture, he fucked off the minute I was born. But mum got remarried, had four girls with him. Mark was his name and he fucked off when I was 14, so he lasted longer than my real dad, but still didn’t last, I guess. Basically because of that, I had so many responsibilities with my family, because the girls were always young and mum had to work a lot. Not that I minded, since I love my family a lot, it was still hard though, you know?”

Harry nods immediately, eyes never once leaving his face, hands still grasping together. He’s such an encouraging listener that it’s the whole reason Louis wants to continue, and wants to talk about this at all.

He chews on his lip before doing that. “That wasn’t the end of the world, though. I would have done anything for them, and I still would. It just made me a bit stressed out at times, especially because I was so focused on them and making sure they were fine, that I was never able to fully deal with myself. And I was so confused about who I was, that it all just became too much. But eventually, I did... I finally admitted to myself that I was pansexual. I came out slowly, to my family, then the group of friends I had.” He stops there, shaking his head out of anger.

Harry notices, giving his hand a squeeze. Louis lets his head fall back, closing his eyes because he doesn’t want them opened to see the look on Harry’s face when he says all of this.

“They dropped me so fucking fast. I could deal with that, sure, but then they started harassing me at school. It was nonstop bullshit from them, snide little comments anytime we passed each other. It wasn’t until one time... Stan, who was my closest friend before, when he started saying such vulgar shit in front of everyone that I lost my mind. I just... I attacked him. Bad. Like, it got me suspended from school, bad. After that I didn’t want to go back, so I just finished online and graduated and moved far the fuck away from everyone. I distanced myself from everyone, including my own fucking family because I’m selfish like that. I only go home for the holiday’s for a week. That’s it. Otherwise it’s a phone call here and there, or a text like this from Lottie, my sister, that makes me feel horrible. She goes out of her way to remind me that I’m a shitty person. A shitty brother, a shitty fucking son. My mum might be getting fucking engaged next month and I had no idea until now.”

It’s quiet for a while like he expected. It’s not until Harry leans over to press a gentle kiss on his cheek that he finally opens his eyes. He then nudges his nose as his cheek, mumbling into the skin. “I’m sorry about what your friends did to you. And you’re not selfish. Not at all.”

“I kind of am, though. I dropped them to focus on myself.”

Harry shrugs, understanding. “I don’t think that makes you a bad person. You were there for your family for a while, but who was there for you?”

Louis blinks and supposes that he has a point. But Louis doesn’t think he can agree with him. Sure, his family was there for him, of course. Physically. But they never seemed to notice that while he was helping them, he was drowning in his own shit. His own shit that he avoided to be with them whenever they needed it.

Yeah, he’s not mad about that part of it. He’s just upset that he neglected himself at that time. That’s why he thinks he’s selfish. He shouldn’t dwell on the fact that no one was there for him because what does that matter? It wasn’t about him.

“They needed me more than I needed them.”

“That doesn’t make your problems at the time less important,” he explains softly with a sigh. “Look. I get that now you’re probably regretting distancing yourself as much as you did, but sometimes you need the distance, even from your own family. There’s nothing wrong with it. You see them during the holidays, you said, and that’s good. You are able to catch up with them then. You’re growing, and so are they.”

“I should be better at reaching out. Texting isn’t hard to do.”

“True. But they don’t reach out to you as much either, do they?”

“But that’s not their fault.”

“Exactly. It’s not your fault, either. Sometimes things just... happen. There’s no explanation for it. Sometimes both people in a relationship need to do better. There isn’t one specific thing to blame,” Harry says as he rubs his thumb along the back of Louis’ hand. “It’s good that you realized you needed time to yourself to figure out who you are. Not everyone is brave enough to do so.”

Louis almost laughs at the irony of that sentence. “Honestly, Harry, I still have no fucking clue who I am.”

This gets Harry to smile fondly, tilting his head as he gazes into Louis’ eyes like he’s never seen them before. “You’re Louis,” he starts softly, smile growing. “You’re a very special person, but you don’t want to accept that.”

He’s not good with words when it comes to shit like this. So he simply stares at Harry a little longer before bringing their connected hands to his mouth to kiss Harry’s knuckles. “And you’re a weirdo.”

Harry laughs, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder. They don’t say anything more.

Louis is okay with that.


	10. ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw/mentions of past abuse

“I never thought we’d be here,” Zayn says, kicking his legs over Louis’ lap. He blows a large cloud in the air, throwing his head back as he does.

Louis raises an eyebrow, inhaling his own cigarette. “Where?”

“We’re both in very happy relationships at the same time. Healthy ones, too,” he explains with a smile. “Look at us go.”

This makes Louis laugh, because the boy has a point. From the five years they’ve known each other, this has never happened. “We deserve it.”

“Yeah. I think the best part is this time, we all get along.”

Another good point. When Louis was dating Aiden, Zayn at the time hated him just as much as Louis hated Liam. But the difference between Zayn and Louis when they hate someone is that Louis will show his hatred, while Zayn is still kind.

Really, Zayn is more quiet around the people he doesn’t like. But he’ll still talk to them when he needs to.

“Thank God Liam is out of the picture,” he teases, making Zayn nudge him in the thigh with his foot.

“Before I would’ve argued with you, but now I agree,” he murmurs, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. “God. I love Niall so much.”

Louis laughs again because it’s barely been maybe just over a month of them dating, and they’ve already confessed their love toward each other. He can’t get over how ridiculous they are.

But this is Zayn we’re talking about. He doesn’t fall often, but when he does, he falls hard. He already showed that much with Liam, so it’s not surprising that this is now happening again with Niall.

The only good thing about this time round is that he trusts Niall to always catch him.

And lately... Louis has been thinking more and more about love lately since the two of them shove it in his face all the time.

He understands that asking Zayn about this now will get him to bother him about Harry, but he doesn’t care. He needs to hear his response.

“How can you be so sure?” Louis finds himself asking, genuinely wondering. “That you love him?”

Zayn shrugs, a bright smile blossoming on his face. “It’s a pretty distinguishable feeling, although I can’t really describe it. But you just know. Trust me. I’m sure you’ll be experiencing it soon enough.”

Louis considers his words for a moment. Truthfully, he hasn’t thought about loving Harry much yet, but if the day comes, he wouldn’t be surprised at all. The day he feels it. Because he falls for that boy every second they spend together more and more. It’s bound to happen.

He just hasn’t been able to distinguish the feeling yet, like Zayn just said. He hopes that he’ll be able to tell the difference one day.

“Maybe,” he ends up saying, and Zayn just pushes further.

“Oh, come on. Harry is extremely lovable. I’m not even dating the lad and I’m falling for him.”

“Back off,” he laughs, pinching his ankle. “He’s mine. You got Niall.”

Zayn beams, tilting his head up to look at him. “Do you know what he’s doing for the holidays?”

Louis shakes his head, getting rid of his blunt since he’s done smoking it. “Nah. We haven’t talked about that.”

That seems to catch Zayn by surprise. “Aren’t you curious? I feel like that’s something you discuss with your partner, especially because it’s next week already.”

He never really thought about it that way. But lately, ever since he told Harry his own story, he’s been wondering more and more about Harry’s family.

That’s only because Harry has never brought his family up to him. Not once.

It’s hypocritical of him since he’s never jumping at the idea to open up things about himself, especially to Harry in fear that his feelings would change for him.

When he told him about Stan, he didn’t realize how stupid he was until later that night. Sure, Harry ended up not judging him for it, but what if he had? What if he thought Louis was a psychopath and he didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?

Of course you have to be honest with the person you’re dating, even if that’s telling them things about yourself that you aren’t all that proud of.

It’s all just fucking scary, though. He’s so lucky that Harry didn’t judge him for his horrible, teenage years. Especially now that he isn’t as involved in his family life.

In fact, the way that he basically supported Louis’ decision to distance himself from his family? It makes him wonder if he did the same exact thing with his.

Because here’s the thing. He remembers when he first met Harry and found out that he came from London, it didn’t seem like a conversation he was willing to have. It made him nervous when Louis brought it up. As if something bad happened when he lived there.

But they’re closer now. He’s sure that Harry would feel comfortable talking about it, right? At least briefly?

“Has Niall mentioned anything about him?” Louis decides to ask. If anyone would know, it’d be his best friend.

“Nah. He just said how he has a big family that gets together at his place.”

Now Louis feels like he needs to figure this out.

Since he’s impatient, he’s going to head over there. He knows Harry’s home since it’s late morning and he normally works afternoon shifts. Plus, he got home from class about 20 minutes ago, so he shouldn’t be too busy.

May as well get it over with as soon as possible. Curiosity gets the best of him.

“Do you care if I go over there? I’ll be back in maybe an hour or something. I want to talk to him about it,” he says standing up and Zayn just nods, getting himself comfortable.

“I’ll take a nap and wait for you, my king.”

Louis rolls his eyes and pushes at Zayn’s legs before he makes the small journey over to Harry’s. He knocks on his door confidently, because well, once he has his mind set on something, he likes to take action. He’s a pretty determined person.

Almost as if he was expecting Louis, the door swings open and before him stands a rather happy Harry. “Hello gorgeous,” he greets, bending over to kiss his cheek before letting him in. “Come, sit, sit. Let me feed you. I was just making pancakes.”

“Thought I smelt something good through the walls. Knew I made the right decision to walk over here,” he jokes and Harry laughs.

“You’re going to start using me for my cooking, aren’t you?”

“I think I made it pretty clear from the beginning that I would. The first thing I talked to you about was making me banana bread.”

Harry cackles, shaking his head gently. “True. There’s a stack already made, so help yourself. This was the last of it,” he explains as he walks back to the oven, waiting to flip the pancake.

Louis can’t help but watch him in his element. Just like always. The boy looks absolutely adorable with his spatula in his hand. Why is it so fucking endearing? And why can’t Louis look away?

Luckily, he’s able to snap out of it as he walks behind him to grab the plate, before bringing it to the table and placing it down. He gets himself settled as Harry finishes up, already munching on his first bite after he covers the pancake in syrup. He moans into it, causing Harry to turn to him with a raised eyebrow.

“Do you have a magic touch or something? Why does everything you make feel like an orgasm in my mouth?” He asks with a mouthful, crumbs falling on the table.

“Aren’t you charming?” Harry murmurs, walking over to the table to join him. “But I’m glad my cooking has that effect on you.”

Louis grabs a napkin to wipe at his face. “Did you cook a lot growing up?”

Harry shrugs, hesitating a little before he answers. “I guess so. I mean, if someone was in the kitchen, I’d be right there with them.”

Louis wonders who he means by them. There’s definitely a reason he didn’t specify.

He nods without saying anything further. If Harry wanted to say who that person was, he would have done that to begin with.

But he still wants to bring up his family regardless. Therefore, he tries to go about it subtly, cutting up his pancake with a knife as he does. It’s fine timing, isn’t it? He thinks so, at least.

“So um... what are you doing for the holidays next week?” Louis asks, and he doesn’t miss how Harry tenses up at that so he continues. He gets that this might not be something he’s willing to discuss still, but he needs to at least try. See where they end up. “Are you going to be with your family?”

Harry aggressively reaches over to grab the syrup, pouring it over his pancakes, not making eye contact. Very unlike him to keep his head down. “No. I was going to go home with Niall.”

Niall? He’s not even going to see any of his family? Does he even have family?

Why is Louis so concerned all of a sudden?

He scoots his chair closer to the table nervously. “Oh, okay. See, I wouldn’t know that because you never mentioned your family to me,” he says a bit rudely (because he’s a piece of shit like that), once again deciding to say his thoughts out loud, even if it’s risky.

This causes Harry to glare at him beyond his long eyelashes, not bothering to pick his head up completely. “You didn’t mention yours until two weeks ago,” he points out slowly and... right.

“Fair enough,” he mumbles, not knowing what to do next. He isn’t going to push Harry because he understands some subjects are a little touchy, but that doesn’t make him any less curious. Especially after telling Harry everything.

This doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, who sighs and finally picks his head up. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you anything about my family... it’s just that it’s really hard for me,” he explains, voice cracking at the end.

Shit. He didn’t mean to upset him. He didn’t think it would be that serious, whatever happened. He can tell though by his posture that something bad happened, something that he can’t even talk about without getting worked up.

He regrets even trying to slightly push him.

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry, I won’t ask you again,” he responds honestly and Harry smiles softly, still tense.

“Thanks.”

Shit. Fuck.

It’s a bit awkward as they eat their pancakes in silence, a very obvious tension shifting in the air. And it’s all Louis’ fault. Like fucking always.

Actually, no, it’s Zayn’s fault for causing Louis to think that he needed to find out what he was doing for the holidays.

Sure, he’s always going to wish that Harry would just talk to him about it, but he shouldn’t have brought it up like that. Also, it really is none of his fucking business, whether he’s dating him or not.

And he didn’t need to reply in that tone.

God damn it. He can’t help himself. Everything that comes out of his mouth is awful.

He glances up to Harry who still seems to be on edge, so he does his best to try and change the subject again.

“How are finals going?” Thankfully, Harry leans back in his seat, dropping his head to the side while sticking out his tongue and closing his eyes, miming the dead. Louis laughs and is glad he’s returning back to his playful state, even if he’s a bit annoyed with Louis at the moment. “Anything I can do to help you?”

Harry moves back up, eyes full of amusement. Okay. Maybe he’s not annoyed at all, then. “You can quiz me on my notecards later,” he answers, nodding to himself as more thoughts scatter in his big head. “Yeah. Like, each time I get an answer right, I get a kiss as a reward.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “You don’t need an excuse to kiss me.”

Harry bites his lip, shrugging. “Well then it’s motivating... and like, the best reward I could ever get.”

Old Louis would actually be disgusted by this. But now? Now he’s sort of charmed by it all.

(Ew. Who is he becoming?)

(He doesn’t think he minds it.)

“You’re kind of disgusting,” he says anyways, heart pounding against his chest.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it,” he says, mouthful of pancake, waving his arm over his chest. “Come on. Look at me.”

Yeah. Louis is falling fucking hard. He’s hit the surface. He’s shattered.

“I’m looking right at you and I’m disgusted.”

“Hey!” He laughs, kicking his foot under the table. “You shouldn’t say that to the person that makes you food.”

“Ah. Threatening me now, are we?”

“You’re the one who just insulted my appearance,” Harry accuses, standing up and grabbing their plates as he swallows his last bite. Louis has been done for a couple minutes already. “Now come on. For that, you’re helping me clean.”

Stubbornly, he crosses his arms across his chest, puffing it out. “No thanks.”

Harry walks over, grabbing his elbow and pulling him up. “You’re so bloody lazy.”

Since he’s dramatic, he scoffs loudly. “Now that’s offensive! I am _not_. I came over here and ate your pancakes, didn’t I? I walked all the way here to see you.”

“Christ,” Harry mumbles, biting back a smile as he brings him to the sink.

But they continue like that for the next few minutes, side by side as they do their own little jobs. Harry washes and Louis dries, putting everything away.

They make a rather quick team. Louis wouldn’t mind this becoming a routine.

(And oh God. The fact he’s enjoying cleaning with him. That’s a huge deal. It really is.)

When they’re done, he takes a step back to dry his hands with a towel. As he does this, he can see that Harry is debating talking about something, chewing on his bottom lip as he leans against the sink, staring at Louis with anticipation. There’s definitely a certain thing on his mind right now, so he has to bring it up.

“Alright. What’s got you looking so weird?”

“Huh?” He asks, trying to appear clueless, letting his bottom lip pop back out. “What do you mean?”

He narrows his eyes at him. At least it’s not something bad. He can tell that much. “Something’s on your mind. What is it?”

Harry laughs, running a hand through his curls. “I mean... kind of. It’s not... well. I know we still have another week before you go home, but can I give you your birthday present now? I’m too excited to wait any longer.”

Louis blinks, completely taken back by the question that just left Harry’s mouth. “Um? How the hell did you know it was my birthday?”

Harry smiles, shrugging. “I did a very heavy stalk on your Instagram when we first started following each other. You posted about it when you were a teenager.”

Louis huffs, feeling like he should be creeped out but he isn’t because he did the same thing on Harry’s Instagram. He went all the way to the bottom of his page.

It’s normal nowadays, isn’t it? Everyone stalks their future lovers on social media. When it’s there, it’s hard not to.

“Weirdo,” Louis teases regardless, Harry’s smile only growing wider. He processes what this means though, getting nervous as he realizes he didn’t even think about shopping for him. “You didn’t have to get me anything for it because now I’m a bit embarrassed I didn’t get you a Christmas present.”

He didn’t think they were doing gifts at all. He understands that maybe he should have assumed anyways, but he doesn’t remember the last time he bought someone something. It’s not something he does every year.

He’s a shit person, isn’t he? What kind of person doesn’t get their boyfriend a present for the holidays? Fuck.

Harry shakes his head, not looking bothered in the slightest. “This isn’t a Christmas present. It’s a birthday one. We don’t have to do Christmas presents this year. Because in that case, I didn’t get you one either.”

This year. He says that like they will still be together in an entire year from now.

Louis starts to grin like a fool. “We can exchange kisses for our Christmas presents this year. How’s that?”

“Oh, I’m very fond of that idea,” Harry agrees, leaning down to kiss him right away. When he pulls back, he’s left breathless. “Okay. Let me get your gift.”

He cackles as Harry runs (like literally runs) through the kitchen and toward his bedroom. It doesn’t take long for him to reappear, panting as he holds out a colorfully wrapped box, a small bow neatly placed on the top.

He puts it down on the table, scratching his neck. “Okay, so I’m not like... educated on this stuff, obviously. I had the lady working at the store help me pick everything out. I hope it’s alright,” Harry says as Louis sits down.

“Harry, I would like anything you get me. You could chop off a chunk of your hair and I would be thankful.”

“That’s... really strange,” Harry mutters, sitting down next to him, pulling the chair so their knees are touching.

Louis smiles unalarmed as he opens the wrapped gift, not knowing what he should expect.

As he reveals it, he notices there are a couple things. He sees a sketchbook first, then there are some specific micron and faber castell pens, and what seems to be a case that can hold everything in one place.

He blinks, staring at the items in front of him, not knowing how to react, or what he should say, or even do.

Louis thinks he’s going to cry. And he never fucking cries.

It’s just... fuck. It’s such a simple and thoughtful gift. The fact that Harry went out of his way to get these for him, especially after he told him he wanted to go back to school.

“Harry...”

“I figured maybe if you had a whole new setup, you’d get back into it. After seeing all your old work... I basically ran to the store to buy these for you. Obviously it’s up to you if you want to start up again, but maybe this little push will help? I’m sorry if I’m being too pushy already. I know, I tend to—”

“Harry,” he says again, this time with a laugh. “Are you crazy? I love this. This is... it’s so special. Thank you.” He reaches over to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“Oh,” he breathes, nodding with a flush. “Good.” For whatever reason, Harry continues to look insecure and shy about his gift, which is making it even better.

There is no way that he thought he wouldn’t like this. He went out of his way to get all of this, but the fact he talked to someone in the store to help him since he wasn’t one hundred percent sure. He wanted this gift to be as perfect as it could be for him...

“I think you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met,” Louis finds himself mumbling, shaking his head, glancing back up at him. “Like, genuinely.”

Harry tilts his head at him, his smile partially falling off his face. “You act like you don’t deserve it.”

Louis shrugs, running a hand through his hair. He feels self conscious all of a sudden now, too.

Because Harry isn’t necessarily wrong. He doesn’t think he deserves someone like Harry in his life. Someone that is this kind in his heart all the time.

But he’s trying. He’s at least trying to accept it and let himself be happy with his boyfriend. It’s progress.

“I dunno. You’re just... I’m really thankful I met you. I’m so happy you moved in across from me.”

Harry doesn’t say anything further. His eyes dart across his face before he’s throwing his hand on Louis’ cheek, pushing their mouths together. He rests his forehead against his once pulls away, breathing shakily. “Happy early birthday.”

Yeah. Happy indeed.

....

The second Louis swings open the door to his flat after spending a week home with his family, he runs to his couch, falling into the cushion and stuffing his face into the pillows.

He feels like he can fucking breathe again.

Okay, he understands that he sounds really dramatic. And ungrateful. And just a horrible human being overall. But that week was the longest week of his life.

Don’t get him wrong. It wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy himself because he did. Things went how they normally do, everyone being rather neutral with each other. With Louis.

Expect now his mum is engaged. Again. Josh did pop the question over dinner in front of everyone like Lottie had suspected.

And seeing that? It made Louis start to panic. He panicked because it’s fucked up that he barely knows Josh and that’s all his fault. The person his mum is about to get married to? His new step dad? Yeah, he couldn’t tell you one major thing about him.

He tried getting to know him as much as he could in those seven days, but he still feels off about it. Like he shouldn’t be having to get to know him _after_ he proposes to his own mum.

But like he said, besides all of that, things were just fine. Lottie was giving him the cold shoulder (nothing new there), Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy were happy to see him, talking his ear off about everything new in their lives.

That’s something he loves and will never get sick of. Hearing them excitedly go on and on about their new passions and hobbies, the new things that they have learned.

There’s just something about being a proud older brother that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get sick of.

He sighs, picking himself up and heading over to his bathroom to shower. He got in late tonight, which is why he’s going to have to rush and get ready for the New Years party that he’s supposed to leave with Harry in an hour for.

Which, speaking of Harry, he hasn’t heard much from him past his birthday. He called Louis up and screamed in the phone with Niall to sing for him, which was charming as fuck.

But after that, nothing. Louis thinks he may have sent him another text saying he can’t wait to see him that never got a response.

Not that he’s upset or anything. Sometimes people forget to reply and get busy. Lord knows Louis has done that plenty of times.

So for the next hour he gets himself ready, deciding on dressing himself up with another buttoned up shirt and jeans, since that’s the only way he knows how to do so. He of course fucks up his hair a lot before getting it just right, but he actually ends up loving the way it turns out.

(What do you know! It’s a miracle!)

As soon as he’s done, he can’t help but feel his heart pounding against his chest as he makes the short way over to Harry’s door.

Christ. It’s only been a _week_. He really can’t believe he’s turning into that type of person during a relationship. The one that can barely go a week without seeing his partner.

Whatever.

He knocks happily, awaiting for the door to be open, and when that happens and he takes a look at Harry, he feels at peace again.

“Hi,” Harry breathes the second he sees Louis, basically throwing himself at him so they can kiss. “Hi,” he repeats once he pulls away, only so he can hug Louis’ body tight against his.

“Hello,” Louis laughs, stumbling as he didn’t expect this bear hug from him. He’s also a bit confused with this reaction since he’s acting like Louis just returned from war. (Not that Louis didn’t miss him this much too. But still.) “You okay?”

He pulls away, refusing eye contact as he nods. He closes the door behind them. “Yeah. You ready to go?”

Well, no wasting time, then.

“Sure.”

Harry throws his keys into his jacket pocket, hands following in after which is... unlike him. That’s very unlike him not to be holding Louis’ hand as they walk.

Alright, he understands he probably sounds insane saying that because it’s not like they’re obligated to each time they walk somewhere, but this is _Harry_. Harry can barely go anywhere nowadays without hand holding.

So Louis is already starting to become worried. Especially with his dramatic reaction to seeing Louis.

Harry isn’t making an effort to talk either as they begin their way to the party. The second the cold breeze hits them, Louis tries.

“Were your holidays okay with Niall?”

Harry shrugs, eyes glued to the sidewalk. “Yeah. It’s always very... loud. I get overwhelmed a lot while we’re there.”

Louis laughs, trying to lighten up the mood that is obviously very down right now. He wonders what’s bothering him. “Then why are you dating me? I’m not exactly quiet...”

This gets Harry to crack the slightest smile. “Because I actually like you.”

Hm. Weird way to word that. “You don’t like Niall’s family?”

“No, no. I do. I just feel wrong being there, you know? Like I’m an intruder. Of course I’m close with Niall and his mum, dad and brother, but the others? I feel like they don’t want me there. Don’t get me wrong, they have never done anything to make me feel unwelcome... but yeah,” he mumbles, holding his body insecurely. “I probably sound stupid.”

That can’t be the only thing bothering him. There’s no way.

“I’m sure they were more than happy to have you there,” he reassures quietly, not knowing what else he’s supposed to say. “Have you always spent the holidays with them?”

He shakes his head. “This was only my second year.”

So something happened to his family within the last two years.

Right now probably isn’t the best time to try and get anything out of him. Maybe they can talk about this later.

Trying to change the subject, he offers a soft smile even though Harry isn’t looking at him. “I hope despite those thoughts you were still able to somewhat enjoy yourself.”

“Yeah. I don’t know,” he mumbles, finally tilting his head at Louis. “How was yours? Did your mum get engaged?”

“She did,” Louis says. “It was no different than any year besides that. My family is a handful, but I love them. Even if I’m shit at showing it now.”

Harry grins ever so slightly. “When’s the wedding?”

Louis sighs loudly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think at the end of July. They’re doing the entire ceremony this time round. My mum didn’t have that with Mark, they just got married on the down low. But Josh wants to spoil her, so.”

“That sounds sweet. Do you like him?”

“I tried getting to know him better and I mean... yeah. I do. I don’t have a reason not to like him, and I can see how happy he makes my mum. The girls all like him as well which is also really important to me. Obviously.”

“You seem to be a great big brother,” Harry comments, making Louis blush and grimace. That’s not what he was expecting him to say. “What? I can tell how much you care about them.”

“I just want them happy. Always. I understand how it feels to float through life, and I don’t want that for them. In a way, when I’m not there, it’s almost as if I’m not taking them with me. That’s another reason why I distanced myself. They don’t need my negativity in their life.”

Harry reaches over to wrap his arm around Louis’ waist in an instance. “Stop. That’s not true.”

Great. How did they even start talking about Louis and all his shit problems that quickly? This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not when Harry is obviously upset about something.

He rubs his eyes nervously, wishing he could shut his mouth for one fucking moment. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this about me.”

“I asked.” Louis shrugs, not responding. There’s a minute or two of silence until Harry continues on. “Your brain is weird. And annoying.”

Surprised, Louis cackles, raising an eyebrow at him. “Pardon me?”

“It’s always telling you these things about yourself that isn’t true,” he mumbles, leaning over and pressing his lips against his ear. “Knock it off!” He yells, making Louis flinch and push him off.

“Christ! What the hell did you do that for?”

“I was yelling at your brain. I want it to stop.”

He puts his hand over his abused ear. “I think I’m partially fucking deaf now.”

“Good. Maybe you’ll stop hearing those thoughts then.”

Louis laughs at this, and thankfully, it gets Harry smiling too. Dimples and all. “Alright, alright. Let’s just try to enjoy this party, yeah? Enough with this talk?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly, frown coming right back on his face like it never even left.

And just like that, fun goes back to being over.

Soon they arrive at the party, and the main thing that catches Louis’ attention is how desperate Harry is to get drinks. He basically drags Louis to the nearest liquor, grabbing them cups before throwing the liquid down his throat.

Harry is drinking the alcohol like it’s water and it’s worrying Louis because he’s never seen him this anxious to get drunk.

It goes on like this for a while, and Louis is trying to make small talk with Harry, because that’s all he can do really. He can tell that Harry is doing his best to forget whatever made him upset by getting drunk.

He’s doing everything he can to make sure he’s comfortable. But by the time he’s on his fifth drink and it’s only been an hour, Louis can’t keep his mouth shut anymore.

“Slow down, yeah?” Louis laughs nervously, trying to grab the cup from Harry who just rips his hand away. “We’ve still got another hour until midnight. I don’t want you passing out beforehand.”

“Well that’s just a shame then, isn’t it?” He snaps, and he doesn’t think that Harry has used that tone on him ever. At least not in this way.

Something is really wrong here.

Louis just drops his arm and Harry seems to notice because his face washes over with shame. “Shit, sorry, I just... I want to drink.”

“Obviously, and like, so do I, but maybe pace yourself a little— “

“Lads!” A loud Irish voice shouts, and they both turn to see Niall heading over to them while dragging Zayn by his hand. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Harry wobbles on his feet a little as he tries to face the other two and Louis has to reach over to balance him.

“Hey,” he greets quietly because he’s fucking concerned about his boyfriend.

“Sorry we’re late. We got a bit distracted,” Niall winks, bringing his straw to his mouth. “I can tell you two didn’t waste any time.”

Louis tries to catch Harry’s eyes, but it’s near impossible because he seems to be in his own daze, just staring at Niall’s drink. He tries shrugging his arm to get him to snap out of it, but it barely works.

Of course, they all start to notice but Zayn is the one to point it out first.

“Are you good, mate?” Zayn laughs as he watches this, specifically asking Harry. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I’m fine. Thanks,” he replies snippy, grabbing onto Louis’ wrist for balance as he breaks himself out of it.

Zayn is taken back by his tone because again, this is so unlike him. He never acts like this.

Louis tries giving Niall a questioning glance, and at that, he just shakes his head in response, a tight frown pursing his lips. So he knows what happened is what he’s taking from that.

Why won’t Harry tell him?

“H, you want to go into the kitchen with me?” Niall asks, apparently wanting to get the boy alone so they can talk it out. It makes sense, since he’s probably aware of what went down in London.

Harry immediately shakes his head. “No. I want to stay with Louis.”

Niall becomes agitated fairly quickly at his stubbornness. “Come on. Let’s just—”

“I said no,” he snaps, glaring at him through his eyelashes.

Niall didn’t do something, did he? He thinks that Harry would have mentioned it if his friend upset him in any way, especially when he was talking about being with his family.

Louis hates how helpless he feels right now. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to handle this situation since they’ve never been put into it before.

He’s not exactly good with emotions. Sure, he can comfort someone when they need it and he understands what is going through their head, but when they refuse to talk to him about it, he doesn’t know how to react. Because what can you do?

Niall sighs, glancing back at Louis. “Honestly, Lou, just take him home. He’s not in the right headspace to be here. I tried to tell him that coming here would only make it worst—”

“Oh, piss off, Niall. I’m perfectly capable of being here.”

“Clearly not. You’re drunk of your fuckin’ arse and it’s not even midnight. You never drink like this unless you’re trying to forget. So please, go home,” Niall lectures, walking over to grab Harry’s wrist. “Please. Talk to him.”

They’re having their own conversation while Zayn and Louis both awkwardly stand there. Louis lets go of Harry once Niall grabs onto him, trying to give them their space.

Zayn and Louis exchange glances, where Zayn just shrugs, taking a sip from his drink and looking into the distance. Louis sighs, glancing back to Harry who is ready to snap. Again.

“Louis, come on. I don’t want to be around Niall anymore. The fucking prick thinks I’m weak.”

“For God’s sake Harry! You know that’s not true! Now you’re just being dramatic.”

Harry laughs bitterly as he plunges himself at Louis again, gripping his forearm. “Oh, _I’m_ being dramatic. You’re the one acting like I’m not allowed to get drunk on fucking New Years!”

“How cute. Look at you in denial,” Niall says mockingly, which seems to enrage Harry.

“Fuck you,” he says as harshly as he can, not bothering to listen to another word Niall says as he drags Louis away.

He doesn’t even bother looking back at the other two as this happens, because all he can focus on is the fact he’s never seen Harry behave this way.

He didn’t know he had a bone like this in his body. He’s always so calm and collected, no matter what the situation is.

Sure, he acted a little snappy during the Collin thing, but nothing close to this. This is on an entirely different level.

When they get far enough from them, he simply turns to Louis with red eyes. “I can’t believe him. The way he knows why I’m drinking so much tonight, why I’m trying to have fun and get myself distracted, but he refuses to just let me have that. Seriously, fuck him.”

He has to fix this. He has to at least try. Niall’s right, he isn’t in the headspace to be here. He can’t watch this mess unfold in front of him any longer.

“Harry, c’mon,” he says softly, reaching up to press a hand against his cheek. “Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you? I get you’re mad at Niall, but maybe he’s right. Maybe you should talk to me.”

Harry shakes his head, closing his eyes in shame. “I don’t want to ruin our night. This is our first new year together. We’re supposed to be happy, we’re supposed to kiss at—”

Is that really why he’s doing all this? He’s thinking of Louis? Jesus Christ. Even when he’s miserable he’s still worried about how Louis is doing.

Unable to listen to that any longer, he rushes to interrupt him. “I’m not happy when you’re this upset. I’d feel better if you told me so I could try and help you. You’re not being yourself.”

A different look that Louis has never seen flashes across Harry’s face. “You can’t help me. Everything I’m upset about happened in the past. But yet, to this day, it fucking bothers me,” he explains, hesitating before he continues on. He sucks in a deep breath, gritting his teeth together as they stare at each other. “You really want to know? Fine. I’ve been on edge all week because I saw my dad for the first time in over two years, making me have a bloody panic attack. Niall had to basically carry me out of the grocery store,” he says angrily, tears pooling in his eyes.

Shit. So something happened with his _dad_. Something really bad.

They have to leave. He can see that Harry’s starting to shake.

“Come on,” he states, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the door. “Let’s go to my flat. We both don’t want to be here, it’s stupid.”

At that, Harry starts freaking out even more. He’s losing all control he was barely holding onto to begin with. “But we’re supposed to be having fucking fun,” Harry spits, halting to a stop. “W-We should stay. I don’t want to ruin this for you.”

“Harry, please. I really want to go home and I know you do too. You need to talk this out, I can see that it’s hard for you to breathe,” he encourages gently, rubbing his back.

Sometimes when you keep something inside of you for too long the buildup is horrible. He can see it happening with Harry, the way his chest is heaving, the shakiness in his hands and voice.

He needs to let go.

He doesn’t expect Harry to stare into Louis’ eyes for a beat longer before he bursts into tears. Loud, heart wrenching sobs in the middle of this room. People turn to look at the noise, and Louis does his best to bring Harry outside so they can leave.

Jesus Christ, what is going _on_?

Once they’re successfully out, they walk, Harry sobbing and Louis doing everything he can to try and comfort him, but it’s near impossible.

He feels like he’s going to throw up. Seeing someone you care about so fucking much be this upset for the first time? It’s unsettling. It’s something that Louis wants to do everything in his power to stop, everything he can to help him.

But it’s obvious that he can’t do that. Harry is dealing with something that can't be solved.

Halfway to their building, Louis tries getting them to take a moment. “Should we stop walking? Do you need a break?”

“I just want to get into your bed with you,” he sobs, squeezing his hands into Louis’ jacket. “Please.”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis agrees, that being all he needs to hear to lead them the rest of the way home.

Harry’s crying quiets down as they finally reach their building, and they’re still holding onto each other as they go up to Louis’ flat.

He’s nervous. He’s really fucking nervous to hear why his dad makes him this hysterical. It’s undoubtedly going to be a story that’s going to be hard for Harry to tell, as well as for Louis to hear.

But he needs to be there for him. There’s nothing more to it.

Once they’re inside, Harry trips as they walk into Louis’ bedroom. He has to steady him before rushing to talk. “I’ll go make us tea. I’ll be right back, okay? Just sit here for a couple minutes,” he says, kissing Harry’s temple before he rushes out to do that.

So he gets that ready for them, trying to ignore the horrible ache in his stomach. This isn’t about him. Not at all. This is about Harry and doing whatever he wants to do. If he wants to talk about it, fine. If he doesn’t, that’s fine too.

He’s not going to make him do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable with doing. He’d never fucking do that to him.

When the tea is done, he brings both mugs over to his room, kicking the door shut with his foot. Harry’s sitting against the headrest, staring down at his lap as he plays with his rings.

He glances up to Louis shyly once he’s close enough, where Louis hands Harry his tea, taking in the sight of his swollen face, wet face. His lips are puffed out more than usual as he brings the mug directly to his mouth, chugging down the liquid like his life depends on it.

When Louis slowly sits down next to him, he tries to talk again. “Are you feeling a little better?” He asks, doing his best effort to come up with a lame joke. “I like to think I’m pretty magical at making tea. It’s got super healing powers.”

Harry laughs lightly, putting the mug in his crossed lap, rubbing at his eyes. “M’sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t have to apologize to me for something like this. Ever.”

Harry nods, understanding because he’d say the same exact thing to Louis if the roles were reversed.

He lets out a long, shaky breath, glancing up to Louis behind his damped eyelashes. “I was sort of really embarrassing... I started crying in the middle of a _party_. And I was so mean to Niall who was just trying to help.”

Louis shrugs. “Things like that happen. Don’t worry about it Harry, okay? All that matters now is making sure you’re okay,” he insists, scooting over to place his hand on his knee. “And I’m not going to push you to talk about it. If you don’t want to, we can go to sleep as soon as we finish our tea.”

Harry shakes his head, curls falling onto his forehead. He reaches up with a trembling hand to push them off. “No. I want to tell you everything. I feel like I should, for my own sake. But... it’s a lot, Louis. I also feel bad unloading all this baggage on you.”

Christ. How could he ever feel bad about that? “Don’t. Anything you want to tell me, I’m okay with. I want to be here for you.”

“I know,” he responds shakily, scratching his nose. He sucks in a shaky breath, bottom lip already quivering. “Okay. Well, um. I guess I’ll start with my mum?”

Louis nods encouragingly, stomach sinking. “Whatever you want to do.”

Harry sighs. He has to close his eyes before he lets it all out. “She was a lovely woman. She’s the person I cooked with growing up. Whenever she was in the kitchen, I was right there with her, helping her and learning. She... she um... passed unexpectedly when I was only nine, which left me with my dad and my sister, Gemma. It was horrible for all of us. I didn’t realize how she was the glue to our family until she was gone,” he says quietly, chewing his bottom lip. “Gemma then moved out when I was 16, which meant I was left alone with my father and... when I tell you he’s a horrible person, I mean that. I’ve never met someone so cold in my entire life.”

Louis can’t imagine losing his mum at that age. Christ. At _any_ young age, really. Sure, his mum and him have had their ups and downs, but that’s bound to happen in every family.

He’d be a fucking wreck if he was never able to see her again. Especially when he was so young.

“He wanted me to be perfect, wanted me to turn out like him, have my own business, whatever. Or be a Doctor. Something really to show off my intelligence, you know? He would put me on this pedestal, and for a long time, I was right where he wanted me to be. When I told him I decided on veterinarian school, he was ecstatic. But then I met my boyfriend... Jacob, when I was 20. I kept my relationship from my dad because I _knew_ him. I knew he would lose his mind if he found out I was dating a boy.”

Louis gulps, already sensing where this story is headed.

“I dated Jacob for about two years, and I loved him, Louis, I really think I did. And the time that my dad caught us together was the worst fucking day of my life,” he breathes, face paling. Louis reacts immediately, scooting even closer so he can wrap an arm around his waist, rubbing his back. “Like I expected, he went crazy. Beat the living shit out of me. I just remember punch after punch, slap after slap, kick after kick... and not only that, but he wouldn’t let Jacob go without taking a beating too. He dislocated Jacob’s shoulder when he stopped him from running out of the house, telling him to keep his mouth shut about me.

“Jacob broke up with me because of it. And why wouldn’t he? He was fucking traumatized like I was,” he growls, wiping at his face harshly as the tears fall. “My dad then obviously wanted nothing to do with me, and I needed to get away anyways. So I moved in with Niall for almost a year, finished up school in London and reapplied here to complete my last two years. The last time I saw him was when he... attacked us. I got out of there as soon as I could.”

“Fuck,” Louis breathes, not knowing what to say. His heart hurts, he feels so fucking helpless. He opens his mouth to try and say something else, anything, but Harry beats him to it when he laughs.

“It’s funny, actually... It’s _funny_ because I never thought I’d find someone that I wanted to be with after him,” Harry admits gently, finally looking Louis in the eyes. “But then I moved in, and my very first night, I went out for one of my walks and I came back to you walking ahead of me. I passed your pub and you were probably just coming home from a shift. I kept following you, basically, because we were headed in the same direction and then I was shocked when I saw you walk into our building, but then I saw you were my neighbor.”

“I wanted to introduce myself to you so badly. All week I was building up the courage to knock on your door and say hi, but all I could think about is how handsome I thought you looked from afar, and I was terrified of how I would act up close to you. It didn’t matter in the end, since I ran into you and spilled my smoothie on you. And Louis, you were so mean to me, that my dreams shattered right then and there because you weren’t as sweet as you looked,” he laughs lightly, eyes sparkling. It gets Louis to smile with him.

“Then in the most lovely way ever, you approached me on that bench, and I knew I was going to be okay. I could tell right away that you were someone I wanted to let into my life and I couldn’t have been more right. From the very first second you opened your mouth that day, I was fucked. I fell for you so bloody fast.”

He reaches over to hug him, overwhelmed by everything that just came out of his mouth. “Harry... I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t say it enough how sorry I am that this happened to you. And Jacob.”

“Don’t be. I was hurting for a while, sure, but you helped me remember that there are going to be plenty more good things in my life that will overshadow the bad. Granted, I can’t see anything better coming after you, but there will still be happiness. You know? The only thing I can hope from here on out is that all the future happiness I’m going to experience will involve you.”

What a sweet fucking thing to say.

And just like that, they hear fireworks going off and people cheering in the streets. Harry’s eyes widen, making Louis laugh at his silly reaction, despite everything that just happened. “Guess it’s midnight. Talk about perfect timin—”

Harry basically throws himself at Louis, kissing him passionately. “Fuck. Happy New Year. I... I’m so fucking happy to be with you. I’m so lucky.”

Louis runs his fingers along Harry’s jawline as their noses are basically up against each other, just staring into their eyes with so much bloody fondness that it’s almost hard to believe.

Meanwhile, Louis’ _I’m the lucky_ one goes unsaid.


	11. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw/graphic violence

Louis leaps onto Harry’s bed, making the poor boy jump and screech his way awake. “Happy birthday to the second most beautiful person that lives in this building,” Louis greets, nuzzling his arm around his waist once he settles down and realizes who it is.

Harry laughs sleepily into his pillow. “I love how you wake me up aggressively and then proceed to wish me a happy birthday _while_ complimenting yourself.” He picks his head up, puckering out his lips. “Where’s my birthday kiss?”

Louis rolls his eyes at him fondly. He looks so gorgeous in the mornings with his messy hair. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get sick of him. Of this.

“I have a date planned for us tonight. It’ll take place after we go out to lunch with Niall and Zayn.”

“Ooh. Look at you being all organized.”

“Yeah, well. It’s a special day.”

“Thanks. I still haven’t gotten my kiss,” he insists, puckering his lips even further out.

So of course, Louis closes the distance to press one, quick peck on the boys lips, both of them smiling into it. “There. Happy, happy birthday. Today’s going to be good.”

“It better be. I have high expectations for you, Louis Tomlinson. I want the whole day revolving around me.”

“Maybe that can start after you make us pancakes?”

Harry groans teasingly, turning his body so he can bite at Louis’ neck, making him laugh and basically throw himself off the bed because it tickles too bad. “You really are a fucking vampire! You’re taking this Buffy thing a little too seriously.”

“Oh my God,” Harry cackles, throwing his head onto his pillow harshly, nothing but the sound of his annoying laugh in the air. “I set myself up for that one.”

“You did,” Louis says, running over to his side of the bed so he can grab his hand. “Come, come. Let’s eat.”

“Do I seriously have to make them?”

“Yes! I’ll help as much as I can, though. I just can’t flip them. Whenever I do it they always fly off the pan. I don’t know. Just come on! I’m hungry and we have a busy day!”

Harry jumps out of bed, arms wrapping around Louis as they make their way out into the kitchen. Louis is smiling the entire fucking time, and Harry definitely is too.

It’s been a month since New Years, where Harry told Louis about his dad and Jacob. Ever since, it’s obvious that they have shared everything they can between each other involving their personal lives when it comes to family and friends.

There’s nothing that goes unspoken between them. Everyday, they open up their hearts more and more, that soon enough, the only thing that their hearts are going to be full of is each other.

Not that Louis is complaining. He wouldn’t mind having a heart full of Harry for the rest of his life.

But yeah. It was a hard couple days after that night, but eventually Harry started returning back to normal, especially when Niall came over to apologize, as Harry did the same.

It’s been a lot of spending time together. Every bloody second they can be with each other, they are.

They hang out with Niall and Zayn too, of course, and Louis is shocked at how amazing life seems to be for... well, everyone.

Everyone seems genuinely happy. It’s so fucking different, and he truthfully doesn’t think he’s ever been at this point in his life before.

Since he’s here, he never wants to go back. He doesn’t remember the last time he went into one of his phases, which is so fucking great. He could almost cry happy tears with how smoothly things have been going.

So the morning goes how it normally does. Harry and Louis eating their breakfast together before snuggling on his couch, watching the telly until they get ready for their lunch date with Niall and Zayn.

“On my 18th birthday, Niall got me a cardboard cutout of Ryan Gosling with a huge dildo attached to it.”

Louis bursts into laughter, covering his face with his hands. “No he fucking didn’t.”

“He did! Hold on,” Harry says, giggling as he takes out his phone to show Louis a picture of Harry standing next to it, smiling widely. “I wanted to hate him, but honestly, it was pretty fucking funny.”

“That’s hilarious! Niall’s a genius,” Louis mutters, shaking his head. “Maybe I went for the wrong friend.”

“Hey!” Harry yells, kicking Louis’ shin. “That was offensive. Maybe _I_ went for the wrong friend. Zayn can at least cook for Niall and him.”

“Now, now, I can cook my own food as well. The only thing is that it tastes like shit, and I refuse to put your poor little taste buds through that suffering.”

“Sure.”

“I’m looking out for your health, baby. You should be thankful.”

Harry rolls his eyes, biting down a sinister smile. “This is the best birthday of my life.”

God. Harry is always saying shit like that around him. He still doesn’t know how to react to it. “Buffy, it’s not even noon yet. How can you even say that?”

“Because I’m spending it with you. And you woke me up with a birthday kiss which easily means we have an amazing day ahead of us. So thank you.”

Louis tries not to smile, but fails. “You are such a disgusting sap.”

“Yeah, well, you love—”

“Knock knock, birthday boy!” Niall shouts the second he swings open the front door. “Harry! Get the fuck over here _now_.”

They glance over to Niall who is carrying in a handful of balloons, letting them go and fly to the ceiling of Harry’s flat. He also holds a bright pink cake.

“Hi friends,” Harry greets, walking to Niall to hug him. “You really made me a cake? Isn’t this all a bit excessive?” He laughs, reaching over to hug Zayn too.

“Louis is trying to win best boyfriend of the year, apparently,” Zayn mumbles, scratching his nose. “It’s not happening, Lou. I’m winning that title.”

There might be a little truth to that sentence. “Hell fucking no! If I’m involved in any type of competition, I’m winning that shit!”

“Louis has been harassing us all week to make you a cake,” Niall explains, smiling brightly. He looks happy about it, despite his tone. “He threatened our livelihoods if we didn’t. Really sweet boyfriend you have there, H.”

“Aw,” Harry says, turning around to look at Louis who is still sitting on the couch. “That’s my boy.”

Louis just scoffs, standing up and clapping his hands together. “Enough of this shit talk. Let’s go out to eat, shall we? I got the reservations all ready.”

“You really put effort into this day,” Harry says, closing the short distance they had on each other. “I’m sort of loving it.”

Yeah. He really did. He just... Harry deserves perfect. Louis might not be able to exactly give him that, but he can still do his best by trying.

Louis smiles, standing on his toes to press a swift kiss to his lips.

“I have never seen a more disgusting couple,” Niall gags, placing the cake down.

“Then look in the mirror,” Harry says, and they all laugh while Niall chases Harry out the door.

....

Niall cackles with his mouth full of salad. “Louis, you don’t even understand. It was like... a week after he met you, I think, and he was already talking about you way too much. I couldn’t believe it because how can you have that much to say when you don’t even know the person?”

Somehow, they landed on the topic of how Harry and Louis first met. It’s one of their favorite stories to tell, and apparently, Niall has been waiting for this moment to expose Harry for what seems to be a long time.

“I just knew,” Harry mumbles, and Louis feels himself blushing as Niall shakes his head and continues.

“When we met each other, I was so excited to give Harry that extra push. That’s why I was so consistent on going to your pub with him, because he would have never done that on his own. He wanted to be friends with you so fucking bad it was hilarious.”

“Now you’re just making me sound creepy.”

“You kind of were, mate. He was always like, _Oh Niall, his eyes are bluer than yours. I didn’t think that was even possible. Not that I don’t love your eyes, because I do, but there’s just something about Louis’ eyes that are_ —”

“Stop!”

“Louis was equally as obsessed,” Zayn joins in, smirking behind his fry. “He cleaned his apartment and made up this excuse about wanting Harry to feel comfortable. He just wanted to impress him.”

“Yeah, about that,” Harry laughs, turning to Louis. “I can’t believe we’ve never discussed that. I think that was the only time I’ve ever seen your flat clean.”

“Jeez, sorry we can’t all be perfect,” he mutters, nudging Harry’s hip with his elbow.

“True. That title belongs to me,” Niall beams proudly, sticking his chin high and buffing out his chest. “I’m as perfect as they get.”

“I love you,” Zayn says out of nowhere, as he watches Niall fondly.

As Niall turns to face Zayn and kiss him, Louis can see from the corner of his eye that Harry drops his head, fiddling at his salad with his fork.

“Anyways,” Niall says the second they pull away, not even giving Louis the chance to see what that was about with Harry. “Back to Harry’s obsession with Louis.”

“Niall! He gets it! Please!” He begs, picking his head up and face becoming bright red.

Louis laughs, reaching over to run a hand through his curls to comfort him. “It’s alright, Buffy. I don’t blame you. I’d be obsessed with me, too.”

Harry of course glares at him, but Niall’s the one to speak up. “You guys still haven’t explained to us why you call him that.”

“Well, you see—”

Harry clams a hand over Louis’ mouth to shut him up. He’s laughing into his palm, making sure to press a kiss onto the skin before he pulls away.

The current smile on Harry’s face is worth everything in the world.

....

Louis took Harry back to the zoo.

He didn’t think much of it, honestly, but he knew Harry would appreciate it. And this time, they could actually call it a date.

“It wasn’t a date,” Harry agreed when Louis asked him about it. “But I wished that it was. You have no idea how badly I wanted to hold hands with you,” Harry admitted quietly, a slight flush on his cheeks. “I even pretended to be scared of bats just to hold onto you.”

Louis bursted into laughter, pinching at his hip. “Liar. You were actually scared of them.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Okay. Well, let’s go in there now and—”

“No!” Harry panicked, squeezing his hand tighter and they both erupted into laughter.

They were continuously laughing and walking, and as they kept moving forward, Harry would bend over awkwardly to kiss him, almost making them both trip in the process.

He’s been openly kissing him a lot lately, whenever he pleases. It’s like whenever he thinks about kissing Louis, he just acts on it. Not that Louis minds, because he doesn’t.

This time round was far more romantic. For obvious reasons.

The only thing that Louis took from their previous zoo trip is that he’s fucked. He’s so very fucked with how hard he’s fallen for Harry.

Besides that, they’re now at the pub, on their third drink and Harry is rambling about a song he heard on the radio the other day.

“Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate the music being produced some of these days. But sometimes you hear that one song, and it’s like, is this seriously what the world has come to?”

“Okay, hater. That one song might have meaning to someone else.”

“I’m not a hater! And I know... but really? You didn’t even hear the lyrics though, Lou. They were awful and degrading and gross.”

“There’s the feminism in you coming out,” Louis laughs, making Harry shrug.

“It’s different when a guy is singing those lyrics about a girl. Obviously, when women are singing about themselves, it’s empowering, but when a—”

“Harry Styles?”

They both turn to see a girl approaching them, standing closer to Harry as her smile grows.

As soon as Harry recognizes her, he waves his hand for her to sit. “Oh! Hi Maeve. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Happy birthday, by the way. You’re out celebrating then?” She smiles, taking a seat on the stool.

“Yeah, yeah, I am. Um, Maeve, this is Louis, my boyfriend,” he introduces, leaning back so they can see each other. Louis waves to the girl. “I go to school with Maeve,” he tells Louis when he catches his glance.

“Oh, of course you’re Louis. I should’ve known,” she laughs, black hair falling into her eyes. “Harry talks about you a _lot_.”

Harry’s got his cheshire cat smile on as he watches Louis carefully. He does this a lot when he’s drunk. He looks very dopey and it’s very adorable. “Are you surprised?”

Christ. He’s never had someone want to show him off the way Harry tends to. It makes Louis feel things that’s indescribable. “I’m sorry about that. He likes to embarrass me,” Louis says to her, although he feels like his heart is going to break open.

“I’m just proud that I’m your boyfriend,” Harry mumbles, turning back to Maeve. “Anyways, who are you here with?”

So just like that, they start talking for a while, Harry listening to her ramble on about her current situation with her friends. He offers her good advice as Louis sits there, sipping on his drink, listening to their conversation quietly.

It’s just... Harry is so fucking nice. Everything about him is lovely. And Louis is starting to think he’s falling in love with him. Just like that.

There’s no way he isn’t in love with Harry. Absolutely no fucking way.

He thinks he’s felt it for a while, if he’s going to be real. He’s simply been ignoring it, but tonight, he doesn’t want to hide from it anymore. Not when Harry is here next to him, being everything bright in one place.

He definitely feels it as Harry makes sure to spare glances in Louis’ direction, just to check in on him and send a quick smile. He feels it when Harry places a hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently. He feels it when he starts telling Maeve stories about him, how his eyes light up with joy bringing up old memories.

It’s a lot. And it’s love.

When Maeve leaves, Harry sighs loudly, turning to kiss Louis’ cheek. “Alright. Should we go home?”

Home. Their building is definitely home now, regardless of which flat they are at.

“Yeah,” Louis agrees, standing up. “Still have to give you your present.”

“Oh God,” Harry laughs, grabbing his hand. “You’re spoiling me even more? You really are the best boyfriend ever.”

“She was nice,” Louis comments as they step outside. “I liked her.”

“Yeah, she’s great,” Harry agrees, rubbing his chin against his jacket. “She’s probably the person I’m closest to out of my classes. She always makes the effort to talk to me and it’s genuine. Not like... stupid shit.”

Louis laughs. “She probably has a crush on you,” he teases.

“Maybe. I don’t blame her if she did.”

Oh God. Louis really has been corrupting this boy. “Should I go back in there and tell her to back off, then?”

“Sure, if you want. You can tell her to stop giving me attention and start paying more attention to her _girlfriend_ ,” he jokes right back, leaning down to press his nose into Louis’ neck. “You’re annoying.”

“I was just kidding!”

“You’re jealous of my lesbian friend from school.”

“Oh my fucking God. I figured by now you’d be an expert Louis Tomlinson sarcasm reader.”

“Apparently, you’re just as bad at reading Harry Styles’ sarcasm.”

They laugh into the night, reaching their building and Louis making the effort to drag him upstairs, because suddenly he’s way too excited to finally give Harry his gift.

Because... well. Let’s just say he worked really fucking hard on it. He put blood, sweat and tears into it. More effort than he’s ever given before.

He just wanted to give something special to Harry, okay? He deserves it.

“Okay, now here is the moment you’ve been waiting for,” Louis pants as they stand in the hallway between their doors. “Now you go inside your flat and wait. I’ll grab your present from mine really quick.”

“Okay boss,” Harry salutes, turning to open his door.

Louis does the same, retrieving the bag that he left on his couch before he left. Harry kept his door wide open so Louis pads his way right in, following Harry to his living room.

“Gimme,” Harry demands as he sits down, hands already reaching out to grab the bag from him.

“Calm down,” Louis murmurs, giving it to him and sitting down. Now, it’s Louis’ turn to get nervous and shy. “Wait,” he hurries before he can open it. “Um. It might be really stupid, but I had fun making it. And I really hope you like it.”

“You’re so stupid,” Harry laughs, clearly making fun of him for second guessing himself. He doesn’t waste anymore time as he picks the drawing out of the bag.

He stares at it with his mouth open, laughter dying off his tongue. His eyes are wild and dart across the entire canvas, clearly surprised with what he’s seeing.

Louis panics and feels the need to say something, especially when Harry isn’t. “It’s kind of cute... isn’t it? That was my intention, at least.”

This was something he took a lot of time on and he really is proud of it. It’s the first real thing he’s worked on in years.

He drew a cartoon version of Harry in his veterinarian scrubs. He made sure to place little flowers in his curls, a bunch of different animals surrounding him, holding up a puppy with a big, dimpled smile.

His favorite part though is his name tag that reads ‘Dr. Buffy.”

Yeah. It’s safe to say he actually wants to start drawing again after this.

What he doesn’t expect to happen is Harry crying.

And not just a couple tears or glossy eyes. No. The boy fully wails.

He drops the drawing and covers his face, sobbing. Louis stares at him in shock, not knowing what to do. How the hell are you supposed to react to that? He drew him a silly painting, he didn’t buy him an island or something.

“Oh my God. Louis. I have never... this is the best thing I’ve seen. I don’t think I’ve ever loved something so much in my life. I’m going to make a hundred copies and take it with me everywhere. I’m also hanging it up in my flat, right where everyone can see it,” Harry breathes, wiping his face and letting out another cry. “Thank you. Thank you for this, I can’t even put into words how much this means to me.”

Yeah. Louis loves this boy. He loves Harry.

He finds himself still shocked by his reaction, though. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m so fucking _happy_. You make me so happy. This is my favorite thing in the world. You’re my favorite person in the world. I... fuck,” Harry wipes at his face. “I know I’m gross, but can I kiss you?”

Louis laughs, nodding aggressively. “I’ve already kissed your post vomit mouth before.”

Despite everything, Harry finds himself able to roll his eyes before crawling over to kiss him. He falls backwards on the couch as Harry straddles him.

They kiss for a while because all they do is kiss. He’s waiting for Harry to give him the green light, and he’s not sure when that’ll be, but there’s no rush.

He understands it more now, after hearing what happened with his dad and Jacob. He’s probably still traumatized from that night, and no way in hell would Louis ever want to do something to remind him of that.

Whenever Harry is ready. That’s when they will do more.

And he’s more than okay with just kissing for now. Kissing is perfect.

“Okay,” Harry pants, pushing off of him. “I think it’s time for bed. I’m tired.”

Louis simply laughs, nodding as they stand up. “Let’s go, princess.”

So they make their way to Harry’s bed, stripping into tanks and briefs before crawling in. The second they are all settled, Harry speaks up again.

“Louis... I don’t think I can thank you enough for today.”

“Please don’t. My main goal was for you to be happy and I think I succeeded. Besides the part that I made you cry, but.”

Harry laughs, scooting closer so he can kiss Louis once more. They lay facing each other under the duvet, Harry’s finger dragging along Louis’ bare arm.

“Can we fall asleep to my favorite playlist now?” Harry asks, already reaching over to get his phone.

“What’s that, then?” He pushes, referring to the title. Harry’s playlist titles are something he takes serious pride in.

That’s definitely one of his favorite things to do. Share all of his music with Louis, making playlists together and coming up with funny titles to fit the mood. They’re both rather good at it too, if he says so himself.

Harry puts it on, throwing his phone back on the nightstand. “Shh. It’s a secret,” he teases, and Louis is just too tired to push him any further for answers, for whatever that means.

He just smiles, eyes already closing to the sound of Joni Mitchell’s voice. “Okay.”

He falls asleep, plenty aware of the fact that he’s in love with Harry Styles.

....

So Louis finds himself in trouble.

He’s at his shift right now, day after Harry’s birthday, and he can’t stop thinking about him. Like... more than usual.

And it seems like they’re becoming more and more dependent on each other. More clingy than ever.

For example. This afternoon, when Louis let him know he had to leave so he could get ready for work later, Harry acted like it was a problem.

“I have a job too, you know,” Louis told him, as Harry pouted openly, bottom lip sticking out.

“I know. I wish I could come visit you tonight but I have to study.”

Louis almost laughed at how genuinely upset he looked over that. He couldn’t tell if this was a serious issue or not. “We can spend a night apart, darling.”

(Thing was... Louis was slightly upset about it too.)

“I can’t,” Harry admitted openly, tilting his head at Louis. “Will you come over after your shift so I can be rewarded with kisses for doing my homework?”

Louis simply rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but be excited for that. “Sure.”

So yeah. It’s to the point that they do what they have to do, and as soon as that’s over, they will be back within each other’s presence.

He’s never been so dependent on someone like this before. He doesn’t know what to think of it.

Also... he’s never been in bloody _love_ before. Christ. Someone needs to guide him through this carefully because this is something he doesn’t want to just float through.

He wants to do this right. Whatever that means.

At the end of his shift, he salutes Nick as he continues cleaning. He’s the one leaving early tonight, which he is more than thankful about. Usually it’s Louis staying here past Nick.

“Goodbye, peasant. I have to go see my boyfriend now,” he says, making Nick laugh.

“It’s weird seeing you so happy,” Nick accuses, laughing lightly. “After Aiden, I thought every relationship you’d get in would be a pissy one.”

He sighs as he walks around the counter. “Harry’s just... yeah. I don’t know. I really like him.” That's a way to lightly put it.

“Well, duh. The entire shift you spent daydreaming about him,” he teases, a genuine smile appearing onto his face. “I’m happy for you. Honestly. I’m glad someone as miserable as you found someone like him.”

“Jesus,” Louis huffs dramatically. “That was really rude but also really nice at the same time.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he winks. “Aiden was only there for your arse. I mean, I’m sure Harry is too, but at least he likes your personality too. I think Aiden hated your—”

“Oh my God. I’m leaving. Fuck you and goodbye,” he laughs, only because that’s how Nick is. Louis is like that as well, but he’s just using his rambling as an excuse to finally leave so he can see Harry.

“Bye Mr. Loverman!”

Louis flips him off as he exits the door, feeling himself starting to blush because there’s more truth to that nickname than anything.

He sighs, breathing in the cold, fresh air before he starts his short walk to get home to Harry. Fucking finally.

He’s about to take out his phone to read the cute texts that Harry has sent him during his shift he wasn't able to check, but he’s stopped when his body is harshly grabbed and literally thrown against the brick wall.

The pain shoots through him like electricity as he falls to the ground, anger filling his bones. “What the fuck, man?” He shouts, looking up to see who did and everything sort of freezes when he recognizes the face. The face that is far too familiar. 

“I’ve been waiting fucking _years_ for this,” he says, stepping on Louis’ hand so he can’t move anywhere. He hisses in pain, glaring up at him as intimidating as he can. He doesn’t think it works though.

“Stan,” he greets, trying to remain as calm as possible.

This is not good. This is not good at all.

See, Stan is always the type of person to get the last word in. He could literally be near death, gasping for air and he would manage to win the fight.

The fight he had with Louis? That was the _only_ time in his life he was the underdog. Louis hurt him so bad he couldn’t even defend himself, and by the time he was better, Louis was already gone. And he had no clue about where he went.

But now? He’s found him and Louis is all alone, already on the ground because he caught him off guard and... fuck. It’s not good.

Stan always had a way of getting what he wants.

“You disappeared off the face of the earth,” Stan accuses, stepping down on his hand harder. He bites on his cheek hard, not wanting to already look weak. “I really thought I’d never see you again until one of my best mates started hanging out with that Horan kid. Then Horan started hanging out with Malik, posted some pictures on Instagram, where we saw you two were connected. It wasn’t hard to figure out where you were after that, since Horan is a fucking idiot.”

God damn it, Niall. He’s too friendly and trusting for his own good. He probably just straight up told Stan where he worked.

Louis tries smiling through the pain that’s traveling through his hand. He stares at Stan, and since he already knows he’s not going to make it out of this without a beating, may as well get something out of it, right? “You look great, bud. You can’t even tell that I broke your nose. All those surgeries paid off, innit? Think I might’ve done you a favor, to be—”

Before he can even finish, Stan is nailing him in the face with a hard fist. The contact is straight to his jaw, sending his body to the side and Stan takes this as the chance to just crawl on top of him completely. Just like Louis did years ago.

He’s not even able to defend himself if he tried. He’s absolutely trapped, and has to just allow hit after hit to his face, as well as the few kicks to his stomach. The pain is excruciating but he has to accept it at this point. There’s no escaping.

Everything becomes foggy and just when he doesn’t feel anymore blows to his face or stomach, he keeps his eyes shut and remains as steady as possible, fearing that he moves just an inch, the pain will be unbearable, or Stan will start up again.

It doesn’t last long though, because Stan is wrapping his hands around Louis’ neck, hard enough to bruise, and most definitely tight enough to stop his airway. He manages to grab at his wrists, trying to pry him off, but he’s too strong.

“I came all this way for this so look me in the fucking eyes when I talk to you.”

He gasps for air, weakly opening his eyes and when he does, he stares back into Stan, who looks almost murderous at this point. Louis knows how good that must have felt for him, that sick, fucking bastard.

When Stan releases just before Louis passes out, he sucks in all the air he just lost, desperately breathing in and out, thankful he’s able to do so again. He coughs, blood falling from his mouth as Stan starts talking.

“How does it feel, huh? Not so good, does it?”

Louis is struggling to keep his head up, but despite almost passing out, he still manages to get across a sarcastic comment. “Still better than you felt, I bet.”

As expected, it earns him one last (rather fucking brutal) hit across his face. It’s enough to send him to the ground completely, smacking his head on the sidewalk and he can just feel the skin on the cheek tear open. Stan spits a few more words at him although he can’t hear it, and it isn’t long until he’s finally gone.

And Louis is just left on the sidewalk bleeding, still struggling to breathe while he waits for the stars he’s currently seeing to pass.

He spits to get some of the blood out of his mouth, pushing himself shakily off of the ground so he can at least sit against the brick wall for a minute as he calms down. He winces, holding his ribs and hoping that the pain isn’t bad enough to the point he can’t walk home. It’s not far, but he refuses to make someone come out here and help him fucking _walk_.

He could always go back to the pub. He's closer to there than he is to his flat. But also, what good is that going to do? Nick is working, he doesn't have time to help him. 

It takes a good five minutes, maybe longer, Louis has no idea, but he gets up and forces himself to walk home. He has to physically drag himself off the ground.

See, he doesn’t know what to do. Harry is someone that worries a lot, and Louis could easily just send him a text saying he doesn’t feel good, but Harry would probably come over anyways to make sure he’s okay.

Yeah, he could send him off, it’s just that no matter what, Harry’s going to see him in this state. He doesn’t want to, but he has to go over there tonight.

Part of it is because he’s too fucking exhausted to even try to make himself feel better. At least if he’s with Harry, he’ll be able to help him. He'd know what to do. 

He just feels so fucking exposed and disgusting.

Part of the reason he left Doncaster was for this specifically. He knew that if Stan ever saw him again that it wouldn’t be pretty. For all his life that he was friends with Stan, he’s seen him become like this.

He was always so fucking _angry_. So hateful. Louis still to this day couldn’t tell you why he was friends with him for as long as he was.

It’s painful making his way up the stairs, but he does it anyways, trying to move as fast as he can because he needs to sit. He needs to take a break and breathe.

When he gets to Harry’s flat, he knocks, and soon enough, he’s opening the door all smiley, knowing that it’s Louis that’s going to be behind it, and the second he takes in his appearance, everything seems to stop.

He freezes, hand falling down to his side lamely as the deep concern washes over his face. He stumbles a bit as he reaches over to gently grab Louis' hand and pull him in before he even thinks twice about it. His mouth stays wide open, eyes darting everywhere in pure panic. "W-What _happened_?" He asks, voice already crumbling.

Louis just shakes his head in response because if he answers that he will cry. He can't have that happening since Harry is already seeing his weak side right now which is something he cannot stand.

He hasn’t cried in so bloody long.

Harry's frown deepens as he closes the door behind them, still holding onto his hand, the one that was stepped on. Harry notices, gently thumbing at the scrapped skin and he looks him up and down as his eyes become glossy, obviously trying to make sense of what he’s even seeing, but failing. He doesn't say anything more as he suddenly wraps his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

Louis winces in pain, but he tries to ignore that so he can hug him back like his life depends on it, burying his face into his chest and... oh. Well, then he starts crying. Just great. He was trying to prevent it and it happened anyways all because of the warm, fucking hug from this boy.

And since he started crying anyways, he allows himself to openly sob. Just loud, brutal, and broken sobs. Probably because he doesn’t cry rarely ever, and when he actually does, he has to let it all out at once. When Harry hears him, he squeezes him tighter, resting his chin on the top of Louis' head, rubbing his back delicately. "It's alright, i-it's going to be okay."

They stay like that until Harry pulls away, placing his fingers underneath his chin to get him to look him in the eyes. Louis can feel the blood mixing with his tears, and Harry immediately notices it, swallowing with concern. "I'm gonna clean you up. Okay? Can I do that?"

Louis simply nods and Harry grabs his hand again, bringing him to the bathroom. As they get inside, Harry doesn’t bother letting him go. He holds onto him as he grabs a washcloth and wets it, followed by some Neosporin and pills, before helping him sit down on the toilet. He then grabs a plastic cup nearby, filling it with water.

Harry’s eyes are wide as he sits on the rim of his bathtub, twisting Louis so his legs are in between Harry’s own. He doesn’t want to look into his wretched face any longer, so after he swallows the pills he closes his eyes as he starts cleaning.

Louis scrunches up his face a lot every time Harry touches an open wound, who doesn’t stop uttering endless apologies into the air. Louis just takes it, and tries to forget about the pounding headache he has, and the throbbing pain in his ribs.

It feels like hours have passed once Harry breaks the silence. "Who did this?" Harry asks once everything is done, grabbing his hand once again and rubbing at the broken skin. Louis forces himself to open his eyes to see Harry with his eyebrows pushed together, tears still threatening to fall from his eyes.

Louis licks his lips, going over the fresh wound on his bottom. It feels rough and disgusting. "No one. You don't know them."

Harry glares. "Well, I _want_ to know them."

Louis is about to start freaking out any second, and he understands that Harry is just scared, as Louis would be, but he doesn’t feel like talking about it. "Why? It doesn't matter, Harry, what's done is done."

Harry's jaw clenches and he stares down at Louis’ hand in his own. His thumb runs over the damage on it. "No. I need to know who did this."

"I don't want to tell you."

Harry's breath suddenly hitches. He then reaches over, softly rubbing Louis' cheek with his thumb. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth, debating what he wants to say next. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that this happened to you."

Louis nods, grabbing Harry's wrist as he leaves his hand rested on his cheek. He feels so tired and weak. "It's not your fault."

Harry shakes his head, eyes darting from his forehead, to his chin, lips, then back to his eyes. "This is killing me seeing you like this."

He sighs, closing his eyes again and remembering that Niall is the reason Stan found him. He’s going to have to tell Harry all of this tomorrow, but right now, he can’t. “I just want to sleep.”

Harry releases him, and grabs his wrist instead. “Of course. Let’s get you into my bed.” He helps Louis stand up, and he grabs at his rib again and Harry stops them before they even start walking. He just sits him back down, lifts his hoodie and lets out a gasp once he takes in the sight of that. “Louis, why didn’t you tell me you were hurt here? This looks—”

He doesn’t want to hear him say it looks bad there as well, so he rushes to interrupt him, already wanting to forget about everything for the night, at least.

“It’s fine. I’ll just shower tomorrow or something to clean that off. I don’t... it’s fine. You already cleaned up my face, that’s the most important part, right?” He laughs nervously, watching Harry blink rapidly, staring at Louis like he’s insane. “We can’t have my face getting messed up now, can we?”

“Louis,” he says weakly, eyes begging. “Baby, _please_ let me just clean it up quickly, okay? We are already here, it’ll only take a few more minutes.”

It’s better not to argue, so he allows him to do that part next. He’s just... fuck, he hates having Harry see him like this.

After that, Harry helps him up again and takes him toward his bedroom. When they’re in there, he drops his hand, walking over to his bed.

“How do you want to sleep? What side hurts less when you lay on it?” Harry asks, fluffing the pillows and pulling the duvet down while Louis just stands there, hugging his body. He turns back once he sets up the bed with drooping eyes. “Do you know?”

Louis forces a tight smile. “I’m gonna be honest with you, Harry. Everything hurts the same.”

Harry opens his mouth and closes it. He settles with nodding, walking over and placing a gentle hand on the lower part of his back. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. Maybe you can sleep on your back,” he tries, watching Louis as he walks over. “Do you want me to sleep with you? Of course I want to, but I’m afraid I’ll roll over onto you or something and worsen your pain. What would you like to do?”

“Don’t be stupid. You’re sleeping with me.”

Harry sighs worryingly but agrees. “Alright.”

“Thank you,” Louis murmurs as he crawls into bed, not even bothering to change his stained clothes, Harry right there with him.

Harry doesn’t say anything further. He just gently wraps his arm around Louis, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck as they lay chest to back. He tries to ignore the throbbing pain in his body, focusing on the warmth of Harry’s.

So much for having a good last month.


	12. twelve

When Louis wakes up in the morning, he barely has time to remember what happened to him when Harry is already speaking.

“Hi,” Harry greets softly, eyes red like he’s already been crying this morning. He slowly sits on the bed next to Louis, handing him a cup of tea. “How are you feeling?”

Louis shrugs, taking the tea in silence. He does his best to sit up without wincing, but fails and this causes Harry to shoot up, fixing the pillows behind him and helping him get adjusted. “Thanks,” he mumbles, leaning his head against the headboard.

Harry nods, sitting back down while not taking his eyes off of him for a long time. He just watches closely, and Louis shouldn’t get pissed off, but he does. Because Harry is fucking staring at him like he’s some freak displayed in a museum and he just woke up and he’s angry at the world again. “Will you stop fucking looking at me like that?”

Immediately, Harry flushes and snaps his head to his lap. “Sorry, sorry.”

Louis sighs, shaking his head and angrily sipping at his tea. Christ, everything hurts. Everything fucking hurts and he’s mad that this happened. Why _now_ , why did it have to happen when he was finally happy? His life was going better than it ever has, and now he’s been beaten to a bloody pulp by his ex best friend.

“Is it as bad as I feel?” Louis asks, and Harry timidly glances up, not knowing if he’s allowed to or not because of Louis’ outburst.

“It looks painful,” Harry whispers, eyes drooping. “You’ve. Um. You’ve got a pretty bad black eye. Bruised jaw. Your lip and cheek are scabbing up.”

Well. At least he described everything.

“Great.”

Harry shifts his position on the bed nervously. “A-Are you doing okay? I mean, I know the overall answer is no, but... I have to ask,” Harry rushes the question out of his mouth again, nibbling at his bottom lip. He looks like a mess, and Louis is the one who actually took a beating.

He supposes he may as well just talk. He’s going to have to do it eventually today, so it might be better to get it out of the way now. That way, they can just sit together for the rest of it, nothing else on their minds.

Louis clears his throat. “Remember that friend I told you about?” He starts and Harry immediately perks up, knowing that he’s going to tell him now. He nods, and Louis continues. “He um. It was him. He is the type of person to get revenge, no matter what, and... yeah. He just found me outside my pub.”

For a moment, Harry just stares blankly. “How’d he find you?”

Louis gulps, staring down at the liquid in his mug. He already knows that Harry is going to be pissed hearing this, so he’ll try to avoid it at least for a second. Maybe it’ll work, but he highly doubts it. “Through a few people.”

“Like who?”

He forces himself to look back at him as he says this. He lets out a devastating sigh. “Through Niall. And then through Zayn, on Instagram.”

More silence and more staring. “Who is this guy? W-What’s his name?”

“Stan, we call him.”

“Stan _who_? I meant his full name,” Harry pushes desperately.

“Stanley Baker.”

Now, Harry just looks genuinely confused and lost. “But how could he know where to find you? I don’t understand how he was able to figure out exactly where you were. Niall hasn’t like, posted something about being here in Cardiff, has he? And I don’t think that Zayn’s location is plastered all over his Instagram. He barely has anything posted, just like you don’t. It’s either his art stuff or a picture with you. Plus, your job, out of all places? It doesn’t make sense.”

Good God. Harry is really about to freak out once Louis says this and that’s part of the reason why he didn’t just start off with it. He was going to try and avoid it, but Harry’s too smart. Too curious.

“Don’t freak out?” He asks and Harry tilts his head.

“What do you mean don’t freak out? Of course I’m going to?” He blurts, shaking his head once again, like Louis is insane.

“Niall told him where to find me. Stan is really convincing, you see, and probably seemed absolutely harmless. I don’t blame him. I guarantee he made up a story about wanting to show up at my job, surprising me, and Niall was all excited for it,” he explains, after he’s thought about what happened himself.

Really, that makes the most sense.

Harry once again stares blankly as he processes all the words. But then the unexpected happens, as Harry starts shaking and brings his hands to his face and sobs. He starts muttering into his palms desperately. “Holy fuck. This is all my fault. If it wasn’t for me, Niall would have never met Zayn, and then he wouldn’t have posted that picture of him where he could have found you. Jesus Christ, it’s all my fault that you are so hurt. Oh _God_.”

It seems to hit Harry all at once. Louis hurries to put the mug down, knowing exactly what is happening. He’s good when it comes to reading people, and there’s no doubt in his mind right now that Harry is thinking back to that time with his dad. When his boyfriend got hurt because of him, or so he believes.

Sure, this situation is absolutely different. Harry has no part in this, and did nothing wrong. Fucking nothing. But in his head, all he sees is his boyfriend is hurt again, and through small association, he still thinks he’s somehow linked to it.

He crawls over to him, hissing through his teeth and ignoring the pain in his ribs again, rubbing a hand on his back. “Harry. Please, it’s okay. Stan would have gotten to me one day or another, I told you he’s the type of person to get revenge. It was so bad what I did to him, I’m shocked it took him this long to find me. You know deep down you had nothing to do with this, you’re just... you’re upset. You want to blame yourself but no one is to blame here. Okay? Besides me and Stan.”

“No,” Harry sobs, before jumping from the bed and detaching himself from Louis. “Niall _told_ him. He literally fucking told him where to find you. You would have never known Niall if it wasn’t for me. I did this. In some sick, twisted way, the reason you’re so badly hurt is because of _me_.”

He looks crazy. “Harry, listen to yourself. Truly, listen. You know that’s not true.”

Harry just gapes, covering his mouth with his hand and shaking his head. More tears spill, and he does his best at calming himself down. Louis is too hurt to stand up, so he just sadly watches him as he takes steadier breaths each minute, eventually relaxing.

Once he’s done, he looks back at Louis with a wet face, slowly walking back to him and the bed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to panic and make this about me. I didn’t, I promise. I just... fuck. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just can’t stand seeing you like this and there is absolutely no way for me to take it back, or make you feel better. I’m trying, I’m trying to help you, but it _hurts_ , Louis, and I know how bad your fucking pain is. I’ve been there before and it fucking hurts—”

“Hey,” Louis interrupts, putting his hand on Harry’s face. “Our situations are completely different. Okay? It was your dad who hurt you. Mine was my shitty ex friend who was getting payback. I’ll be fine once everything heals. Don’t worry about me, yeah?”

Harry gulps, face looking absolutely pained. He grimaces, squeezing his eyes shut and trying his best not to let a wail escape from his mouth. “But in the grand scheme of things, we both got hurt because we like _boys_.”

Louis pulls his hand away, a bit stunned because... well. He didn’t think about it that way. That they both took a beating from a homophobic prick.

“It’s over now,” he decides to say, not really knowing what else he can talk about. Really, there’s nothing more they can do.

The world is a shitty place to exist in and that's how it will always be. End of story.

Harry’s eyes fall to his lips as he aggressively wipes at his cheeks. “Can I kiss you?”

Louis sighs, and as he nods, he leans forward for his answer, pressing their lips together. Harry reacts by placing his hand gently on Louis’ shoulder, giving him soft pecks. Very, very carefully.

“I sort of just want to lay in your bed all day,” Louis says suddenly, pulling away. “Is that okay? Do you have work?”

Harry shakes his head. “I’m not going in.”

“Harry, don’t miss—”

“I already called Glo. It’s fine, I never miss a shift. And this is more important,” he interrupts, rubbing his thumb with the hand he still has placed on his shoulder. “Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? I can make you anything, I just went grocery shopping the other day.”

“Anything, hmm?” He teases, which only makes Harry frown before he leans back down to peck his lips one last time.

“Chocolate chip pancakes okay?”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” he murmurs, feeling the urge to clean himself up beforehand. “Can I take a shower here?”

Harry nods and stands up to give Louis some time alone to get ready. “Take whatever clothes you want.”

So Louis does. He grabs a t-shirt and sweats before heading into the bathroom. His main job right now is avoiding the mirror and taking the longest shower of his life.

He lets the water drip down his body, and when he sees how bruised his stomach and ribs are, he closes his eyes, refusing to believe it. At least he can’t see his face. He can only imagine how bad he looks.

He thinks back to the day he attacked Stan, how he couldn’t stop staring at his hands afterwards. His hands were cracked and bleeding, as well as blood on his shirt after he wiped them down when he finished.

He doesn’t remember much because he tries to black it out as much as he can. But he does remember hearing the yells, trying to get him to stop. But he didn't. He kept going. And then seeing all the faces around him. How they stared at Louis like he was a monster. 

It was enough for him to never go back there.

He stares at his hands now, only one of them scraped up on the back, from when Stan was stepping on it. He can’t help but wonder if Stan has observed his own hands, taking in the damage he did.

He sighs, forcing himself to step out of the shower. He dries his body off as best as he can, not even bothering to towel his hair because his head hurts too much. He steps into Harry’s clothes, water soaking through them but he remains unbothered by it. That's the least of his worries.

He gathers one last deep breath before making his way out of the bathroom.

When Louis walks into the kitchen, Harry is flipping a pancake. He glances over his shoulder to watch Louis as he sits down. “Did the shower help?”

“Not really,” Louis admits, scratching at the back of his neck. “Kind of burned.”

“You have to shower in cold water,” Harry responds, placing the pancake on the plate and walking over to Louis to put it in front of him. “It’ll feel better that way.”

Louis just nods and stares down at the pancake before he cuts into it. He then starts pouring the syrup over it and he is so fucking exhausted that he didn’t even realize Harry has still been standing over him until he feels a hand brushing his neck. He snaps out of it and glances back up at his concerned face.

And right. He forgot about his neck completely. He wonders if there are bruises there. There probably is, otherwise Harry wouldn’t be looking there now. He wouldn’t have been able to see them last night because the hoodie he was wearing covered them up.

He pushes his hand away and sighs. “Harry, it’s fine.”

At this, Harry takes a step back. “Fine?” He spits, gritting his teeth together. “You’re really trying to tell me that this is _fine_?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Don’t be dramatic—”

“He strangled you and you nearly passed out, no? That’s why your voice was so hoarse and you’ve got a bruise around your neck?”

Was it? He didn’t even know that his voice sounded weak last night. He had no idea. He’s okay now (well, as okay as he can be) and he doesn’t want Harry worrying further. Not after his breakdown this morning. “It doesn’t matter. I made it home—”

“Just shut up. For once in your fucking life, please, shut _up_.”

Louis does exactly what he says because he’s yet to see Harry this angry yet toward him. He’s watching him as he starts becoming more and more panicked and pissed, not really knowing what to do.

Sure, the entire Stan thing got ugly, but he wasn’t going to fucking kill Louis or anything. That’s sure as hell how he’s reacting right now.

Harry collects himself and turns off the stove, reaching on the counter toward his phone. He doesn’t bother telling Louis what he’s doing, but he’s aware of what’s happening after Harry puts the device to his ear.

“Harry, don’t call Niall. Please don’t—”

“Do you know the name Stanley Baker?” Harry asks in the phone, not even greeting his friend. “Answer the fucking question. I’m not... Stan? Does that sound more familiar?”

Louis gets up and walks over to Harry, trying to get him to hang up but all Harry does is turn around, completely ignoring Louis. “Why the fuck would you tell him where Louis worked? Do you have any idea what you did, Niall?”

“Stop,” Louis speaks, hurrying to be in front of Harry. “I don’t want Zayn knowing about this. Hang up.”

Harry glares at him as he listens to whatever Niall is saying. “He’s not his friend! He fucking lied to you and now Louis is—”

“Fuck you,” Louis spits out of nowhere, completely annoyed that Harry isn’t listening to him. This happened to _him_ , not Harry.

This gets Harry to snap out of it, especially when Louis makes the move to leave. He doesn’t want to be around Harry right now if he’s going to make a bigger deal out of this than he wants to. He can’t have Zayn knowing, he can’t.

“Wait, wait,” he pleads, hanging up the phone with Niall before even explaining further. “You’re not leaving. I’m sorry, that was wrong of me to call him while you’re with me, but—”

“Don’t tell him what happened. Because then he’ll tell Zayn and I don’t want him to know,” he repeats, because he’s sure that he didn’t hear him the first time.

Harry balks. “I don’t fucking care what you want. Niall is _my_ friend who got _my_ boyfriend in trouble, and I’m not going to just pretend this didn’t happen. Sorry, but I can’t let this go whether you like it or not.”

For Christ’s sake. This is such a mess.

“I’m glad that you care this much about me and all, but this happened because of me. _I’m_ the one who attacked Stan in that lunchroom. Niall did absolutely nothing wrong. Okay? Just drop it,” he demands, hands starting to shake because everything is so overwhelming.

He’s expecting Harry to fight him on this, but instead he puts the phone back down, ignoring the incoming call from Niall that flashes on the screen and steps toward him cautiously. He opens his mouth, closing it before reopening it. “What did Stan say to you that finally made you snap?”

Oh.

Louis sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t think he ever explained the story like this to someone. Sure, people at school saw, people told his mum what he did, but he never said why.

His mum though, when this all happened, she looked at him and said, “I’m sure you didn’t do that for no reason.”

Louis shook his head and started crying. That’s all it took for her to hug him, understanding that he lost Stan the second after he came out. It wasn’t that hard to put the puzzle together.

“I was... I told you how I go through phases? Where I let life kick my arse more than usual? I did back then too, and Stan was aware of it, so he proceeded to say some shit like no wonder I’m so fucking depressed, that he’d be depressed too if he had two fathers leave him, having to make up a sexuality to see if anyone would actually want me. He always thought I wanted attention and would do anything for it, and just the way he was saying it all out loud where everyone was listening... I couldn’t take it anymore. I let him trip me in the hallways, push me in the lockers, call me a _faggot_ or a _twink_ because I knew if I let my temper get the best of me, it’d turn out shit. But for whatever reason, that day specifically, I let myself lose it. And fuck, I absolutely hated Stan that I didn’t hold back anything. So yeah, it got ugly, but I couldn’t take it. I was pretending all the things he was saying didn’t bother me, but it obviously did.”

Harry keeps standing there quietly, arms crossed as he stares at Louis with his eyebrows pinched. It takes only a second longer until he’s stepping closer, carefully wrapping his arms around Louis.

He doesn’t say anything this time. He just simply holds him.

“I’m sorry for calling Niall,” he mumbles into his hair. “Your neck just freaked me out.”

“I know.”

“I care about you so much,” Harry continues, squeezing him tighter.

Louis winces through the pain he feels on his ribs. “I know,” he repeats, burying his face in Harry’s chest, breathing him in.

Harry pulls away then, not completely closing the distance as he cups Louis’ face with his hands. “Your pancakes are probably cold now.”

He laughs which thankfully gets Harry smiling a little too. “What a fucking shame. After the night I had, you think I could at least enjoy some warm pancakes.” When Harry starts frowning, Louis hurries. “I’m joking.”

“I’m making you banana bread,” Harry then says, reaching down to kiss his lips quickly. “You can stay here for a little bit, okay? That way if Zayn stops by unannounced, it won’t be a problem. Also, what about work? Did you want me to go to the pub and talk to Nick? I can let him know that you got hurt. I obviously wouldn’t go into details, unless you want me to. But I’ll take care of all that today while you rest.”

Jesus Christ. This boy doesn’t have a bad bone in his body.

“I’m not completely helpless.”

“I never said you were.”

“You’re implying it...”

Harry sighs, running a soft hand through his hair. “You just deserve a little break. Okay? I want to take care of you, even if you’re a stubborn prat about it.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Come on. Let’s sit.”

So they do. And Louis tries to get his mind off of everything as he eats, but it’s near impossible. Not when Harry is purposely not looking at him, knowing that Louis doesn’t want him to.

It’s going to be a long day. Week. Month.

....

Louis feels as if he’s gone to hell and back within these last two weeks.

He basically lived at Harry’s place this entire time, Harry doing what he suggested by going to Nick, explaining what happened. Of course he gave Louis all the time off he needed, and that’s all he really had to worry about.

Otherwise, it’s just been him and Harry doing absolutely nothing together.

Although, he ended up seeing Zayn because Niall told him about the phone call from Harry. Even though Harry told him not to after he explained what happened to Louis, who just gave up and let Harry say whatever he wanted to.

Niall came over and apologized relentlessly, and Louis had to tell him a million times that he was never mad at him in the first place.

Zayn was there too, hugging Louis for probably the entire day, refusing to let him go. Harry just let them be together, sitting on the side with Niall as they had their moment.

Everything is mostly healed by now. There’s scars and faded bruises of course, but besides that, he’s doing fine. He’s going back to work next week, not really looking forward to seeing Nick.

Don’t get him wrong, he’s thankful he gave him as much time off as he needed, but he doesn’t want to be questioned by him.

Whatever.

They are now at Harry’s flower shop, because he begged Louis to come with him since it’s been so slow lately. He wanted his company as he studied and worked.

But the thing is, ever since that night, Harry thinks Louis is lying about how he’s feeling. All he does is sneak looks at him before asking how he is.

He understands deep down because he’d be the same way with Harry, but this is just how Louis is. It pisses him off when people are worried about him because he doesn’t think he deserves it. No one should be this distraught when it comes to him.

Since he’s zoned out in his own head, Harry takes that as the initiative to talk for the first time in 30 minutes.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and Louis glares up at him.

To put it simply, Louis is a dick and hates being pitied this way. And Harry can’t seem to take the fucking hint. “Ask me that again one more fucking time and I swear—”

“Sorry, sorry,” Harry rushes, shaking his head. He looks back down to the book in his lap. It makes Louis feel guilty, no doubt about that.

There’s been a lot of that, too. Louis feeling guilty because he’s treating Harry like shit who is just trying to help him.

“No,” he sighs, getting his attention back. “I’m sorry. I keep snapping at you and it’s not fair.”

“I get it,” he says quietly, shrugging slightly. “I was the same way. When Niall would try to talk to me, I reacted like a rabid animal,” he laughs, although it doesn’t meet his eyes. “It’s hard. I get it, trust me. It’s like you want to be alone but then you don’t.”

“It sucks,” he murmurs, scratching his head. “I really regret ever going after Stan.”

“You were standing up for yourself.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Now as much as I don’t condone violence, he deserved it. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.”

“If I was really as good as a person you think I am, I would have continued to ignore him,” he responds quietly, insecurity rushing over him once again.

This is another thing he’s been trying to forget lately. It’s been so hard to think about.

Harry shrugs again, not looking bothered. “You were going through a lot and you were young. When things keep piling on one after the other, you’re bound to just snap. You’re trying to twist the story. And sure, maybe there was a better way to react to Stan’s harassment, but I don’t think it makes you a bad person. Not at all.”

“Can you be mean for one fucking second?” Louis snaps, and of course Harry laughs, even though he’s being serious.

“I’ll do anything you want me too.”

“Then please scream at me and tell me how horrible of a person I am.”

“Alright, fine. You’re a horrible person. Are you happy?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Louis scoffs, shaking his head and going back to doodling on the napkin in front of him. He was doing that before he got distracted by his thoughts. “You’re so annoying.”

“I’ll continue, if you want?” Harry questions, closing his book and fully facing Louis. He holds up his hand to count off his fingers. “I think you’re selfish, unkind, disappointing, stupid, disgusting, and irritable.”

It’s playful, sure, but it’ll do. “Thank you.”

Harry smiles, sticking out his arm and waving his fingers. “Come on. My shift has been over for 10 minutes. If I stay overtime one more time after this, Glo is going to kill me.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Louis laughs, standing up and helping Harry put his books into his backpack.

He shrugs, both of them heading around the corner. He goes off into the garden to tell his coworker that he’s leaving, before he rejoins Louis to walk outside.

“Want to take a walk? It’s a nice day,” he suggests quietly, fixing his backpack on his shoulders.

He only went back to his flat two nights ago, and he’s been cooped in there ever since. Harry came over in the mornings with breakfast, nothing really new there. It was weird sleeping without him though after spending almost two weeks in his bed.

He was planning on going home and taking a nap, but now with that offer, he decides that a walk might be nice. Today was his first day getting out of the building, so may as well continue it.

“Sure,” he responds, nodding.

Harry smiles, taking out his phone. “Here,” he says, handing Louis one of his ear buds. Louis silently takes it, and Harry immediately starts playing that playlist again, which is his new favorite.

“You really like these songs, huh?” He asks, and Harry blushes.

“They’re pretty, no?”

“They are very...”

“Romantic?” He raises an eyebrow. “I mean. I am in a wonderful relationship, so those are mostly the songs I’ve been listening to.”

“Christ,” he mutters, not knowing what to think of it.

There’s a lot of songs about love. That’s for sure.

The thing is, they both haven’t said it to each other. He understands the last two weeks have been hard, but there were plenty of times Louis almost said it to him.

But he doesn’t know how. That’s the problem.

“ _Let me be the one you come running to_ ,” Harry sings, making Louis blush with him. “ _I’ll never be untrue_.”

“Please stop disrespecting Al Green,” he says, trying to ignore that Harry is singing him a song about love.

That’s the only thing left unsaid between them. Why don't they say it to each other? Louis isn’t sure. He’s waiting for the perfect moment, and he can’t help but wonder if Harry is too.

What if Harry doesn’t even love him yet?

He glances back to Harry who is staring down at him, lips parted slightly before he bends over to kiss Louis, and well...

He thinks it’s very possible that Harry loves him back.

They walked for another 20 minutes before going home, and during that time, Harry became more quiet, something clearly on his mind.

When they reach their hallway, Harry hesitates, but then says what he’s clearly been dwelling on. “I’m going to London to see Niall tomorrow,” Harry says randomly, turning to Louis before he opens the door to his own flat.

He’s expecting him to maybe invite him to come with, which he doesn’t and Louis thinks that’s a little weird, but it’s not a big deal. He won’t question it.

Also, since when does he ever go to London? The only time he’s gone was for the holidays. Whatever. Again, he doesn’t bother asking. Not after everything he's done for Louis these past two weeks.

“Oh? Um, okay.”

Harry bends down and kisses him. “I’ll see you when I get back, then?” When Louis nods wordlessly, he continues. “I promise to text you every second and send you the prettiest songs that remind me of you.”

This gets Louis to laugh, of course. “It’s only for a weekend, right? You’re not leaving for an entire year, weirdo.”

“Does it matter?” Harry smiles, words falling short. “But yeah. I’ll see you Monday, Lou.”

“Okay. Bye.” _Love_ _you_ , he thinks.

They go their separate ways, and Louis has a slight knot in his stomach, but he ignores it.

They’re fine. It’s not weird that Harry is going to London to see Niall. Not even if he’s never done that before. It’s all good.

Right?

....

“Why aren’t you with Harry?” Zayn asks, walking over with a bowl of chips.

It’s the day after Harry told Louis he was going back home for the weekend, and currently they’re in Louis’ flat, watching some thriller on the telly. Nothing new there.

But Harry should be on the train now. He’s surprised Zayn is asking him this.

Louis shrugs. “He went back to London to be with Niall,” he responds. He was sure he would know that because of Niall. “Didn’t he tell you?”

Zayn’s brows furrow immediately. “Um... are you sure? Because Niall’s on the train now to be with me for the weekend.”

There it is. He knew his fucking gut feeling was right, even though he never wanted it to be.

And well, he never thought Harry would be the type to lie to him. Not ever. That’s unlike him to do something like this. It’s really out of character.

He shouldn’t worry about it too much though, right? He doubts he’s going to see his dad, but what about his sister? His sister could make sense.

But then again, why wouldn’t he have just told Louis that? Why did he lie?

It’s been quiet for a long time as he tries to come up with something that would make sense.

Eventually, Zayn breaks the silence. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Lou. Don’t worry about it. Harry isn’t...” He cuts himself short, unsure of what to say because there really isn’t anything to say.

It’s weird because it’s completely unlike Harry. Trying to stay calm, he just attempts to give Zayn a nod. “No, I know.”

He tries to pretend he’s not worried or pissed off, but it’s impossible.

What is Harry doing there?

....

**Harry 11:03 P.M.**   
_Niall is so annoying :((((_

**Harry 11:03 P.M.**   
_He is so loud when I am trying to sleep :’(_

**Harry 11:15 P.M.**   
_I hope you’re sleeping okay...I know I’m not without you xx_

Louis wakes up the next morning to these messages and is pissed. The way Harry is going above and beyond to lie to him right now is not right. It’s actually horrible and Louis doesn’t know what to do about it.

He ignores his texts like he has been since yesterday because he can’t even get himself to pretend that he believes him. He’s too fucking annoyed.

It’s so out of character for him.

He’s moping around his flat when there’s a knock at his door, and he already knows who it is before he sees them. “Come in,” he yells from his spot on the couch, not wanting to even stand up.

Soon after that it swings open, and there stands Zayn and Niall.

“Hey Lou,” Niall greets softly, immediately walking over to sit down next to him. “Zayn told me about Harry.”

Alright. No tiptoeing around the subject with him.

He nods, resting his elbow on the couch to prop his head up as he looks at him. He understands he looks like shit in his sweats, but granted, he wasn’t expecting company today.

“Why do you think he’s lying?”

“I literally have no clue what’s going on with him,” Niall admits, doing his best to reassure Louis. “But it’s Harry, you know? I’m sure there is a good explanation for it. I won’t mention anything to him because I’m sure you’re going to want to be the one to do that. Right?”

Louis nods, pinching his bottom lip with his fingers. “Yeah,” he agrees slowly, thinking about his next question. “Would it maybe be because he’s seeing his dad?”

Niall grimaces and then shrugs. “Highly doubt that. His sister, though? Maybe. That’s still highly unlikely. And if he is seeing her, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t have told you that.”

“Is there anyone else?” Zayn asks, speaking up for the first time.

At this, Niall opens his mouth, glances over at Louis before considering his next words carefully. “Uh. No. I don’t think so.”

He’s lying. He definitely knows of someone else he could be going to see.

But Louis is too pissed to even try and get it out of him.

“Whatever. I’m just wondering how long he’s going to keep lying to me for,” he mumbles and Niall sighs.

“Look, Louis, I’m sure there’s a good reason he didn’t tell you. Harry just gets himself so worked up sometimes that he acts without thinking.”

“Doesn’t mean he should lie to me.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Niall groans, rubbing his eyes. “You’re right.”

See, Niall is trying to make sense of this himself. He can tell that he’s worried about Louis being pissed at Harry, but he doesn’t care. He has every reason to be mad at him right now.

“Guess we’ll just find out when he gets back.”

Niall frowns. “You haven’t been texting him, have you?”

He shakes his head, opening his phone and handing it over to him. “Why the hell would I answer those?”

“Shit,” Niall breathes, staring at the screen with wide eyes. “Are you—fuckin’ hell. I really want to call him and see what’s going on.”

“Don’t,” Zayn interrupts. “I get he’s your friend, but he’s lying to Louis. You’re not involved in this.”

“But I am! He’s using me in his lie!”

“It’s still none of your business,” Zayn murmurs.

“Yes it is! Don’t be a stupid cunt. He’s telling Louis that he’s staying at my house. I’m surprised he used that excuse, really, because this could have easily happened. You know? Us running into you?”

Louis shrugs. “I’ve only seen you guys once in the past two weeks since Stan. He probably figured I’d be camped out in my flat alone because that’s all I’ve been wanting to do.”

“Oh,” Niall realizes, closing his mouth. “Yeah. That makes sense.”

“I only came by Lou’s because Nick said he was coming back to work next week,” Zayn explains, digging a cigarette out of his pocket. “I’m sure it’s not a big deal. We all trust Harry. Let’s just forget about it for now,” he suggests, eyeing up Louis carefully.

He only looks down at his lap, fiddling with the strings on the pillow nearby him.

Zayn’s right. He does trust Harry. He’s got no reason not to.

Yet.

....

Louis is high and contemplating his life. Nothing more dramatic than usual.

He’s been smoking all morning because Harry’s on his way back now and he’s going to have to pretend for at least a little that everything is okay.

See, when something is bothering Louis, he wants to snap the second he’s aware of it. Does that make sense?

Liam for instance. Everything about him pissed him off, and whenever he was around him, he wasn’t able to hold in his anger.

It might be easier to contain himself around Harry, but what if it’s not? It might be harder to do that now since he’s high as fuck and each second he thinks about how deliberately Harry lied to him, he gets even more pissed than he already was.

He’s staring at the ceiling when Harry arrives, and he has to take a couple steady breaths to prepare himself for whatever is about to come.

He tries his best to put on a sincere smile when he opens the door. Harry, who is nothing but the spitting image of sunshine right now, lunges himself at Louis the second he can.

“Hey gorgeous,” he greets, bending down to place a kiss on Louis’ cheek. He doesn’t flinch away like he wants to. “I brought home banana bread that Niall and I made.”

Already starting with the lies. Louis might kill him at this rate.

Louis lets him fully inside and still tries to look unbothered. “How was your weekend with my favorite Irish boy?”

“Oh, you know how it is spending time with Niall. It was nice seeing his family again, though. They’re the best,” he explains, wrinkling his nose as he smells the room. “You seem to be enjoying yourself.”

He clenches his jaw but nods, ignoring his previous comment. “What’d you guys do?”

“Nothing different than what we do here. Simply all those things, just in a different location.” His voice sounds a bit higher than normal. Hence the lying.

Louis won’t be able to go along with this act much longer, but he’s hoping Harry will break before he does. “In that case, why didn’t Niall just come here like he always does?”

“I dunno? I felt like going to London for a change,” he mumbles quietly, fingers tapping on his pan that holds the bread. “Next time I’ll bring you with.”

“Why’d you decide to go this weekend out of all the other ones?”

“Jesus, Lou, why all the questions?” He laughs nervously, shaking his head. “I just went to visit my best mate in my hometown. What’s wrong with that? Besides, I’d rather hear about your weekend than mine as we enjoy this bread together. I missed you.”

Diverting the subject so he won’t get caught. Fucking bastard.

“Yeah, I’m sure you did,” he snaps, and at this, Harry’s entire face falls.

“I’m sorry?”

“Tell me the real reason you didn’t ask me to come with.”

Harry gapes and chokes on his words. “I-I don’t... I’m not sure? I didn’t think you’d want to come. Like, after everything with Stan and—”

“Good one,” he interrupts bitterly. He decides to test the waters further. “You just wanted to get away from me for the weekend.”

“Are you crazy?” Harry asks in shock. “Of course that’s not true!”

“I beg to differ. Otherwise you would’ve asked me to come, especially if you were just hanging out with Niall. Am I wrong?”

Harry looks stunned. He doesn’t know what to say since he’s going off a lie. “You’re putting words in my mouth,” he responds weakly, and fuck. Louis can’t take it any longer.

“I know you’re lying,” Louis spits and Harry takes an instant step back, face going white. “Did you really think my best fucking mate wouldn’t say anything? When you said you were staying at Niall’s house, which happens to be his boyfriend that was coming here for the weekend? The house you were supposedly staying at? Why did you fucking lie to me, Harry?”

Harry is at a loss for words and Louis can’t grasp this. He can’t believe Harry, of all people, would lie to him. And seeing his reaction right now, how shocked he is Louis found out, it’s only pushing him further.

Since Harry is speechless, Louis continues angrily. “I can deal with a lot of things within relationships, but I can’t do lying. I can’t stand a liar, no matter how much I fucking like you.”

Once again Harry steps back like he’s been slapped. “No, Louis, please. I can explain.” He watches as he starts panicking more and more as he realizes what he just got caught doing, and how it could possibly jeopardize their relationship.

He didn’t think this through before he did it. Not at all.

“Then fucking explain.”

Harry swallows thickly, letting out a shaky breath afterwards. ”I went to see Jacob.”

Well. That explains why he lied. And Louis feels like an idiot for not even thinking about Jacob. It all makes a lot of sense.

That’s probably who Niall was thinking about when Zayn asked about anybody else. Fuck. Really, how did Louis not even consider that option? Now _he_ feels like an idiot.

He can’t control himself as he becomes overwhelmed with his emotions, and all he can think at this second, is he doesn’t want to fucking see Harry. Not now, and not for a while.

“Get out.”

Like a magnet, this snaps Harry out of it as he steps forward to Louis still holding the fucking banana bread, like getting closer will make him change his mind as he starts freaking out. “No, it’s not what you think—”

“I don’t fucking care. Get out of my flat, and don’t come back,” he spits because he’s stubborn and irritated and just wants to be fucking alone.

Harry freezes completely, mouth dropping and tears already pooling in his eyes. Great. Why did Louis have to fucking date a crier? “You are _not_ breaking up with me over this.”

Is that what he’s doing? Yeah. Probably.

He can’t even put into words how pissed he is at him right now.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He spits, heat coming off his body. “You lied to me and spent the weekend with your fucking ex’s house, the one you loved with all your heart.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you!” Harry panics, hands flailing all over the place. “I knew it’d upset you.”

“It didn’t cross your mind that finding out like this would upset me more? If you told me, I wouldn’t have cared, Harry, because I trust you. Trusted you, I should say. Now I just... I don’t want to fucking see you anymore,” he explains, and as he sees a tear fall from Harry’s eye, he completely fucking loses it. “I refuse to be with someone who will make the effort to lie to me, and go behind my back to fuck his ex boyfriend, but yet, has a problem when it comes to fucking his current boyfriend.”

The second he says that, he regrets it. He regrets it as Harry recoils into his shell, hurt by Louis’ words. Louis knew that would cut through him, how he was mindfully taking it slow with him because it’s hard for him, and he wanted to do it right with Louis.

It was a low, unnecessary blow.

“How can you say that? That’s not true at all and you know it,” he whispers, shaking his head and Louis is still too pissed to even care.

“Do I?”

“Louis. Please,” he begs, gaining back his small confidence, reaching out for him.

Easily, Louis pulls away. “No.”

Harry pauses as he debates what he is going to do next. He obviously isn’t going to leave without fighting further, but he’s probably realizing that he really has no way to make this right.

“Don’t break up with me over this. You can’t do that. We’re just fighting, alright? There’s no need—”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want, thank you very much. And that’s getting you out of my life as soon as possible. Not like it’ll be a problem though, since you’ve got Jacob back.”

Harry actually scoffs. “No. That’s _not_ why I went there. Absolutely not. That part of my life is officially over. It’s you I want to be with. I don’t want it any other way.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you lied to me.”

“You’re right and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else you want me to do, Louis, I’m apologizing and I acknowledge that I fucked up bad, but there’s no reason to end our relationship. Nothing happened between us,” he says weakly, stepping closer as he gains back his confidence. “At least... think about it?”

“I already thought about it,” he shoots back angrily, not even realizing what he’s about to say. “And we’re done. So please, get the fuck out of my flat.”

Harry doesn’t move, and honestly, when he opens his mouth next, Louis wants to punch him for it.

“I love you,” he says, like it’s the very last thing he can admit that might save their relationship. “I love you and _only_ you and that’s the way it’s going to be for my entire life.”

And of course, Louis laughs. He laughs because what a piece of shit he is. He decides to say that now? Out of all fucking days. He's pissed. Harry is stunned, eyes darkening as he laughs at his confession. “You’re just saying that.”

But they both know he’s not. Not when they’ve been tiptoeing those words for the last month or so.

He is just so fucking angry that he wants to take it all out on Harry.

All this buildup after what happened with Stan, it’s no shock. He’s been holding it in since it occurred, but he can’t do that anymore.

He feels helpless all over again.

Harry gapes. “Are you fucking serious? I’m not—”

“Yes, you are. Because I’m breaking up with you and you think saying that will change my mind, but it doesn’t. For the last time, I’m telling you to leave. I don’t want to hear anything else come out of your mouth, especially after that bullshit.” Lies, lies, lies.

Shit. Now he’s the one lying.

He can almost see all the walls crashing down on Harry after he says this. “Loving you is not bullshit—”

“ _Go_ ,” he interrupts, because that’s all he can do now. He just fucked up everything, he can tell he did with how he reacted.

He can’t blame Harry for this. Harry was being honest with him, even though the timing was awful. And Louis just spit it right back in his face coldly.

He refuses to look Harry in the eyes again. He can feel his peering in on him, but then he’s turning around, leaving Louis all alone.

Again.


	13. thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all for this story! i hope everyone liked it :) please feel free to leave feedback!! i always appreciate it. <3.

2 weeks since Louis acted out of nothing but pure anger and broke up with Harry. He’s been miserable ever since it fucking happened.

He regrets it. He does. But he’s stubborn and he is still mad at Harry, but he wasn’t _as_ mad as he thought he was. Not enough to fucking break up with him.

He’s also embarrassed at how dramatic he acted. Like granted, he was high and upset, but still. No excuse.

He’s been so humiliated that he even refuses to go to his flat in case he’d run into Harry. He’s crashed at Zayn’s every night since, who is starting to get annoyed with Louis’ dramatics.

Now he knows how Louis felt when he was moping about Liam.

(Not that their situations are really comparable... but.)

He was taking a nap on Zayn’s couch when he was smacked over the head, glancing up to a really pissed off Niall Horan.

Great. He hasn’t seen this one since before the break up. He can only imagine the wrath he’s going to get from him.

“You have some fucking explaining to do.”

“God,” Louis groans, turning onto his stomach and hiding his face in the cushion. “Leave me alone.”

“No, I will not,” Niall snaps, sitting down on his legs. Louis curses, sitting up straight and getting away from his arse. “The only reason I haven’t been over here with my _boyfriend_ is because I’m stuck at my best friends flat who is a fucking mess.”

He blinks, scratching at his jaw. He ignores the pang in his heart. “Not my problem.” Niall smacks him in the head again. “Fuck! Stop doing that!”

Niall rolls his eyes, just as Zayn sits down next to him with a cigarette. He has no idea where he evolved from. “Look. I understand why you were so mad, but was it really worth breaking up over?”

Zayn scoffs, knowing far too well how much Louis has been trying to make sense with his decision to do that. All he’s been doing is complaining about how stupid and embarrassed he feels that he can’t even show his face to him.

So Louis shakes his head. “No. It’s just because I was so fucking angry and I let it take over me. I usually am bad with my brain to mouth filter when I’m pissed off, and I didn’t realize I actually broke up with him until the next day, and I didn’t know how to fix it.”

And of course, Niall smacks him over the head again. Louis is really fucking close to punching him in the face.

“Well you need to be the one to fix it,” Niall pleads, looking desperate all of a sudden. “I am so fucking sick of seeing him crying. Do you know how many tissue boxes I’ve had to buy him? They’re rather expensive too when you have to buy them shits in bulk,” he mumbles, plucking the cigarette from Zayn to kiss him, before giving it back. (God damn it, why are they so disgustingly cute?) Niall turns back to Louis after that. “I just don’t understand why you won’t hear him out. He tried to knock on your door once, yeah?”

Yeah. That did happen. It was the day after their fight, and that’s when Louis processed what he just did, and he knew he couldn’t be there anymore. So he waited until the coast was clear when Harry went to work, before he ran to Zayn’s.

Louis shrugs, not actually wanting to explain himself. It’s because he feels fucking guilty, that’s why. He shakily reaches over to grab a cigarette to smoke. “I wasn’t ready to see him then,” he mumbles, lying partially. “Despite the fact I may have overreacted, he still lied to me.”

And that’s something he’s been reminding himself too. He lied to Louis about going to see his ex boyfriend. He is allowed to be mad with him all he wants.

Not break up worthy mad though...

Niall sighs, irritated. “Do you know how badly it killed him to have someone he loved ripped away from him because of his horrible dad? He’s a wreck when it comes to seeing the people he loves hurt. He literally didn’t know what to do because the last time he saw Jacob was when they were both covered in blood. Louis, i-it... wasn’t pretty,” Niall cuts himself short as he remembers that moment in his own head. Louis swallows with a sick stomach. “So he just wanted to spend time with him after all these years and catch up, see how he was doing. He wouldn’t cheat on you like _you_ implied he would. He just wasn’t thinking straight.”

Shit. Louis forgot that he even said that. He can tell Niall isn’t happy with him for that, as he glares at him behind those words.

Louis chews on his lip, becoming more and more anxious. Zayn notices, reaching over to rub his thigh.

Niall, the idiot (not really. He’s making a lot of sense and Louis is just annoyed by that) continues. “God damn it, can’t you forgive him and get back together? Honestly, it doesn’t even look like you’re all that mad with him. And if that’s the case, please do something. His fragile heart is shattered.”

Louis glares. “He’s not the only one hurting.”

Niall scoffs. “Give me a break. The boy loves you more than I’ve ever seen him love someone before and that’s saying a lot considering how he wears that heart of his on his...” His eyes widening, once he realizes what he just said. He slaps a hand over his mouth. “Oh, shit. Fuck. I wasn’t supposed to say that. Harry doesn’t... I mean, he does, but he was supposed to be the one to tell you.”

Without thinking, he admits as much to them. “He did. He told me that night.”

This causes the room to go silent, Niall and Zayn sharing a look with their mouths gaped open. Niall is the first one to speak. “Shit. I didn’t know this.”

Louis laughs bitterly, putting out his cigarette. “Yeah, well.”

“That was really hard for him to do. He was so scared to tell you because,” Niall laughs mid sentence, shaking his head. “Because he really said, quote to quote, ‘I love him so fucking much, Niall, and I’m afraid to tell him that because what if he gets too freaked out by how much it is? You know me, once I start talking I can’t stop.’ The boy would fucking die for you, I think,” he rambles, leaning into Zayn.

“Do you love him back, Lou?” Zayn asks, speaking for the first time.

“Yeah. I do,” he settles with saying, not wanting to tell them that he laughed at him and brushed him off, especially after now knowing how scared Harry was to tell him.

He feels like a piece of shit. More than he already did.

Niall and Zayn exchange another look. “You didn’t tell him, did you?” Niall asks. “Otherwise he wouldn’t be this upset.”

Louis shrugs, wanting to disappear right now. That’d be nice. Maybe he could stop worrying about everything if he did.

“You are really fucking stupid,” Zayn says, and Niall nods in agreement.

Louis doesn’t bother arguing because they’re right.

....

Another week passes after his talk with Niall and he’s coming back from a pub shift when he decides to actually go home. He sends Zayn a text telling him that he’s going to his flat, where he replies with a bunch of smiley faces.

Fucking prick.

And first things first. He’s _not_ going to talk to Harry tonight. He doesn’t think he’s ready yet.

But, at least being back in his flat gives him the opportunity to finally run into him again. And once that happens? Maybe then he will be.

Christ, what if Harry doesn’t even want to get back together with him? Louis wouldn’t want to if the roles were reversed, seeing how fucking crazy he reacted to him lying.

He’s never going to get over himself for doing this to them.

He continues to mentally curse himself all the way to his flat, like he has been for the past three weeks.

Fuck. It’s really been three whole weeks. This is insane. All because Louis is a stubborn prick.

He’s fucking exhausted since the pub was packed because it’s the weekend, and honestly, one of the main reasons he decided to go home tonight was that he missed sleeping in his own bed.

Zayn’s couch is fucking uncomfortable. He wouldn't let him sleep in his bed with him, which was a dick move, but he only did that hoping it'd get rid of him sooner. 

It didn't.

So as he walks up the steps, he’s sort of excited to hopefully get a good night’s rest.

But weirdly enough, Louis barely has the door open to the hallway until there is a phone being shoved in his face. He stumbles back a bit, almost giving himself a fucking heart attack, especially when he looks at Harry.

He’s so scared that he can’t even process what’s happening and that he’s seeing this boy for the first time in three fucking weeks.

“Jesus Christ, Harry you nearly—”

“Read the fucking title of the playlist,” Harry interrupts, determined although his hands are shaking so bad that Louis isn’t even able to read it because the screen is blurry.

This is such a weird way to be talking to each other after the break up, but regardless, he reaches up to steady the phone so he can actually read it. And when he reads the title of the fucking playlist?

Harry really named the playlist _Falling in Louve_. That motherfucker really called it that and thought it was a good idea.

Naturally, Louis looks at Harry as he brings his hand down, who is staring back wildly. At this moment, all Louis can do is burst into laughter. He can’t help himself with all the ridiculousness. Almost immediately, Harry seems offended and takes a timid step back.

“Why are you _laughing_?” He asks, cheeks reddening and oh God, did Louis miss that sight. “You know... that’s the um, playlist? The one I always played for you and told you it was a secret?” As Louis continues laughing, he watches Harry just become angry and annoyed. “Well, that’s the fucking title, you dick, so don’t you dare tell me I was only telling you in the heat of the moment because... well, I mean, maybe I was, but that doesn’t mean I only said it trying to keep you! I said it because I meant it and I meant it for a while! I was just too scared to say it! I tried telling you through this playlist!”

Louis has to clutch onto his stomach, and Harry narrows his eyes at him, realizing that he’s got no reason to be angry anymore. Annoyed, sure, he sees it in his expression as he reaches over to shove at his shoulder, cheeks still red as ever. “Stop laughing!”

“That is the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen. Jesus Christ, that’s... it’s so _innocent_. And sweet. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, honestly, but seeing that and... I’m sorry for laughing. I just can’t believe you’re real.”

Harry finally smiles, taking a shy step closer. “But I do. I love you with every fiber and bone in my body and I hate that I lied to you and broke your trust because that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I can’t explain it, my mind just wasn’t working and I acted without thinking, obviously. I was so shocked when Jacob texted me and I didn’t know what to do but I knew I needed to see him, but I didn’t want to hurt you which I realize was stupid because I ended up hurting you more than I intended. You think I would be a bit smarter because I’m going to be a fucking vet, you know? But I guess love makes you stupid and you kind of make me stupid... not in a bad way! It’s just my brain becomes foggy and—”

Like always, Louis has to interrupt him before the boy gives himself a stroke. “Shut up. Please,” Louis says, putting a hand up. Harry’s mouth snaps shut finally. “I mean. You’re right. Love does make you stupid. I think that’s pretty obvious with _how_ mad I got at you. I literally broke up with you over it which was something I didn’t want to do either.”

This entire situation has got to be the funniest thing that’s ever happened to Louis. Possibly ever.

All that anger? Was it for fucking nothing? Or was it the final push that they both needed to gain the confidence to tell each other that they were in love?

They will never have a normal relationship, will they?

Not that Louis is complaining. There’s no one in the world he’d rather be with than Harry.

Harry takes a step back this time, eyes widening hysterically. “Wait. Hold on. Does that mean...”

“Yes. I love you, Buffy. I love you and I’m fucking sorry that I was such a prick when I found out you lied. That’s why I’ve been... hiding. I was embarrassed, to say the least.”

And with that, Harry decides to finally break the distance. He cups Louis’ face, eyes darting everywhere as he ignores his apology. That doesn’t seem to be his main worry right now. “Can I please kiss you. Please. I can’t go another minute without your lips,” he says, using his thumb to play with Louis’ bottom lip. “These three weeks have been slowly killing me. My body is literally decaying.”

Louis laughs and kisses him harshly because well, when you go that long without kissing your favorite person in the world, you need to make up for it somehow.

Also, it’s good to know that Harry isn’t going to hold a grudge against him for how he reacted. That is something he should be really thankful for, considering everything.

When Harry pulls away, he grabs Louis’ hand instantly. “C’mon. I have leftover banana bread.”

He follows Harry toward his flat, as they are both smiling with swollen lips, and Louis knows that they are going to be okay. They’re going to be more than okay.

....

**4 months later**

“Oh my God! Louis, Louis, Louis!” Niall shouts, running over to him breathlessly. Harry jumps, nearly dropping his wine glass as Louis laughs. “Your mum is absolutely gorgeous. Nicest woman I’ve ever met. I might dump Zayn and steal the bride away.”

“Would you please shut up?” Zayn pleads, panting as he catches up to all of them. “I can’t believe you’re embarrassing me like this.”

“What? How am I embarrassing you?” Niall asks, offended, turning toward him with wild eyes.

“Well this was my first time meeting his mum too. And I’ve known him a whole lot longer than you! Then there you go, talking the poor woman’s ear off, not even giving me a chance to say anything.”

“She loved it. She loves me and you’re jealous,” Niall murmurs, rolling his eyes.

Louis is kind of speechless. He’s drunk, and is trying to process the fact that two of his mates are arguing over his... mum?

“Too bad I’m already the favorite,” Harry says proudly, nudging Louis in the hip. “Go on, Lou. Tell them.”

Louis rolls his eyes, and as much as he’d like to make fun of him, he doesn’t think he can do that.

Two days ago is when Louis and Harry took the train over to Doncaster, where he brought Harry to meet his family. Which... well. That was interesting.

“Oh my God,” Lottie groaned, crossing her arms across her chest after Louis introduced Harry to her. “You’re dating _that_?”

Harry blinked and Louis gave her a dirty look. “What?”

“He is so much more attractive than you,” she said, walking over and waving her hand across Harry’s face. “Are you blind, sir?”

Louis pushed her and it thankfully got Harry laughing, acting a bit shy. “Um? No?”

“That’s obviously Lottie, the one that doesn’t like me.”

“True. I stopped liking my brother ever since he left us for the wolves,” she explained, both of them flicking each other off. “But it’s nice to meet you, Harry. You must be a pretty serious guy in his life if he brought you here.”

“I’d like to think so, yeah,” Harry puffed, glancing at Louis.

“Louis brought his boyfriend?” Fizzy asked, the second she walked in to join them. Dorris, Daisy and Phoebe followed behind her. “I wasn’t expecting him to bring home this.”

They were purposely making fun of him and he can't blame them for that. 

He mentioned to his family that he was maybe going to bring his boyfriend for his plus one, along with two of his other friends. At the time, his sisters thought he was lying about him being in a relationship that he was willing to introduce them to.

“Alright, I think he gets it, you all hate me and can’t see me having this hunk as my boyfriend,” Louis rushed, making them all laugh.

“It’s almost as if he built him himself,” Fizzy joked, Lottie joining right in.

“Yeah, or like, brainwashed him into liking him,” she said, and Louis just grabbed Harry’s wrist.

“I’m already sick of you lot.”

“We know! That’s why you never come home!”

Louis rolled his eyes and he could hear Harry laughing over his shoulder. “They’re fun. I like them.”

It wasn't surprising to hear that come out of Harry's mouth because that’s the thing about his family. They make humor out of every situation. Especially this one.

Sure, deep down, Louis always feels like shit about it, but at least they can still joke about it. It helps keep him somewhat mentally stable about everything he’s doing while he’s not here.

When Harry met his mum, he could tell that right away she was in love with him. It’s just that it’s been so long since she met someone that actually made him happy. Not since he was a teenager.

And even then, those people didn’t actually make him _happy_. They all turned on him and then he had no one.

It’s pathetic, but it’s true. Harry is the first real person he’s introducing to his mum.

“Thank you so much for having me,” Harry had said, one of his dimpled smiles plastered on his face. “I’m so excited to be here. I love weddings. A lot. And I really love your son, so that’s another plus. Being here with him.”

Louis could feel his cheeks burning, and it basically got his mum to cry in happiness.

(She didn’t. But he could tell she wanted to.)

So yeah. Harry is probably her favorite.

“Afraid so, boys. Harry wins that title. Just like I won the best boyfriend title.”

Niall narrows his eyes. “Uh, let’s not forget about—”

Harry throws himself at Niall, slapping a hand over his mouth, making them all laugh, knowing far too well what he was going to say.

Luckily for them, making fun of their dramatic three week break up is something Zayn and Niall love doing. They like to brag that they’ve never broken up, but Harry and Louis refuse to listen.

They argue that their messy break up adds character to their relationship. Yeah. That’s it.

“Get off of me, you perv,” Niall spits, shoving Harry away. “Alright, my beautiful, lovely boyfriend. Can we go get more snacks? I’m starved and Jo told me to help myself.”

“Oh, you’re on a first name basis with my mum now, huh?”

“Well, yeah, I told you I was going to steal her away for myself. Of course we are.”

“We’re leaving,” Zayn snaps, causing Niall to laugh and wink as he drags them away.

Louis turns back to Harry while dramatically widening his eyes, resulting in Harry giggling and leaning down to kiss him.

This is a very different element for them. At a random barn in Doncaster in the summertime, all in suits, getting drunk on wine surrounded by Louis’ close family.

But it’s nice. Louis didn’t know he needed something like this until now.

He’s happy. End of story.

“I still don’t think we’re ever going to be as annoying as them,” Harry says as he puts down his empty wine glass. “We’re so perfect.”

“Seriously though. No one can compare to us. We’re untouchable as a couple.”

“Mm,” Harry murmurs as he moves to wrap his arms around Louis from behind, getting them comfortable. “We should get married one day,” he suggests casually, resting his chin on Louis’ shoulder. “I really fancy the idea of marrying you.”

Louis laughs at that, turning his head so their noses are nearly pressed up against each other. “I expect a proposal in a garden. With a bunch of animals running around. Oh my God, also, instead of releasing doves, you know how people do that? Well, we can release bats.”

Harry bites his shoulder, making him squeal and shove him off. “You’re insufferable. I can’t stand you half the time but I’m still madly in love with you. How does that make sense?”

“Because I’m hot as _fuck_ ,” Louis teases, leaning up against the wall.

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he continues staring at Louis like he’s his entire world. “You can design our wedding invitations. How cool will that be?”

Oh yeah. Speaking of that... Louis is officially going back to school. Yup. He actually enrolled and everything.

Harry will be finishing his last year of veterinarian school and he’ll be starting over, but he’ll be on the right path to be where he wants to end up.

He’s so, so fucking happy. And he owes it all to Harry.

“Of course I will. And then we’ll serve our guests your banana bread and explain that it’s the sole reason we fell in love.”

Harry cackles, resting his head against the wall, eyes never leaving his face once. “I love you very much.”

Louis puckers out his lips, but before Harry can even kiss him, Niall is interrupting them again. “Harry! H! Can you come over here? I’m talking to Louis’ cousin and what’s that shitty drink you make that eases your like... anxiety? That’s why you drink that pink shit, right?”

“Oh God,” Harry says, turning to Louis with wide eyes. “Not the magnesium smoothie.”

“Come on. Let’s go tell Tina about your magical smoothie making skills,” he insists, spotting Niall talking to his younger cousin.

“And how sometimes I spill it onto rude, drunk strangers that end up being my neighbor.”

Louis laughs, kissing Harry one last time before they approach them.

Out of all the phases he’s gone through in his life, none of them matter. None of them matter because in the end, he landed just where he wanted to be.

Sure, he’s still floating through life day by day, but now he’s got Harry with him. Floating and floating until they turn into beautiful, colorful dust.

The world doesn’t seem all that black and white anymore.


End file.
